Extremely worried

[thefrick]

Hi everybody. I didnt really know where to start with this but 2 days ago I was accused of rape. I went out for a few drinks with some fried and got pretty drunk. I met a girl and we came back to mine. Now, we did pretty much everything except have full intercourse and now she has accused me of raping her. I had the endure the terrible ordeal of being swabbed in my private area. Now, I know I never raped her but I'm extremely worries that my DNA may be in or around her private are as we did a lot of sexual things. I need somebody to talk to about this please. Im beside myself with worry. Thank you

[RFLH]

Hi and welcome to the forum - I've moved your post to make your own thread - so you can get the help and advice that you need.

[myhome]

HI welcome to the forum, but sorry you had to find us. This is a great place to get all sorts of advice and support, both practical and emotional. Keep posting, read other threads and we'll help all we can. Keep strong

[thefrick]

Thank you for sorting that out, much appriciated. I'm not looking for pity I just need to speak to somebody who has gone through this. Im just a normal 25 year old guy and I'm not ashamed to say that I'm constantly in tears.

[IvorBinWronged]

hi there thefrick

Why do you think she has done this?

It's usually money, revenge, excuse for infidelity, attention-seeking or she genuinely believes she did not say yes (or said no and you carried on!).

Having an idea of why helps you start to help you kill this monster.

Mine did it for revenge and attention (which she undoubtedly got a lot of).

Oh - and to all - thought of a new phrase:

Professional victim - someone who FA's more than once because they realised it paid in numerous currencies - pounds, attention etc.

[myhome]

I'm not ashamed to say that I'm constantly in tears.

Absolutely right - no need whatsoever to be ashamed to be in tears - it's a truly hideous experience and rips you and your self-belief to the core. Have you been to see your GP - they are generally marvellously supportive - they can also refer you on to counselling which will be a huge support too. Medication helps - though not everyone on here agrees with its use. I have found it invaluable just to keep me balanced enough to carry on some sort on normality while "my living hell" continues. I view it as: if I had a broken leg I'd use crutches to help me get on with my life while the leg mended. Medications for mental health are the same. They don't get rid of the distress/depression/anxiety etc but they do take care of it enough to allow you to function and cope with things in the meantime...... (so does chocolate!!!) and these

[thefrick]

Thanks guys. Well Ivor, the next day I had to catch a train to London and asked her politly to leave but she was having none of it. She refused to leave the building and said she'd do me for rape and that I'd go down. She was also abusive to my neighbour who is being supportive towards me. I'm thinking that it might be in my favour slightly. If I really did rape her, would'nt she want to get the hell out of there instead of staying. Im chatting to my neighbour about a defense and if he'd give a statement. If someone raped me I'd want to get out of there as fast as I can so that part of the whole incedent will be in my favour hopefully.

[bookworm123]

hi just been reading your post, please stay strong my son is 24 and was accused of rape , were you charged and do you have a solicitor ?

[thefrick]

Well as it stands I'm rather confused as to what happens next. I'v never been in trouble with the police before. Basically they seized some of my items; phone, clothes etc and I'm on bail at the moment until Jan 28th. Iv only conferred with the duty solicitor at the moment but I'm unsure as to what happens now. This is why I've come onto this forum to speak with people in this similar situation. I'm so scared at the moment. Its only been 2 days so far but I feel physically sick all the time.

[bookworm123]

Well as it stands I'm rather confused as to what happens next. I'v never been in trouble with the police before. Basically they seized some of my items; phone, clothes etc and I'm on bail at the moment until Jan 28th. Iv only conferred with the duty solicitor at the moment but I'm unsure as to what happens now. This is why I've come onto this forum to speak with people in this similar situation. I'm so scared at the moment. Its only been 2 days so far but I feel physically sick all the time.

okay take some deep breaths and try to stay calm. sounds like the police are gathering as much as they can and will send any evidence to cps , they will tell the police if there is enough evidence to charge you. this can take a while. if you are not sure what is happening you need to get legal advice though if you have not been charged yet you will not get legal aid . there are solicitors on other threads on here that specialise in false allegations and i would make a note of them in case charges are brought. other than that you need to take this one day at a time. is there someone you can talk to you , a family member or friend ? dont be afraid to talk to someone , if a friend really cares they wont judge , this happens more than you realise. i had a wake up call when it happened to my son. most of all stay strong and believe in yourself x

[thefrick]

Thank you bookworm. Anybody who knows me knows that I could never do something like this. I'm just a normal genuine guy. I'm confiding in a few close friends and family. I'm also worried as if I'm charged I cant really afford a solicitor

[So angry and hurt]

So angry and hurt

First things first,slow down take a breath and start to get any information you can about this young lady, she may have done this before ,have a look on Facebook ,talk to people but most importantly don't panic, the police may see through her lies and not charge you at all,and even if they do it doesn't mean they will convict you; you will notice from other people's story's that this probably won't go away quickly so use your energy wisely .there will be loads of genuine support here for you so trust in this site and don't get ahead of yourself ( easy to say but my son was charged last year and it took a full year and an awful lot of blood sweat and tears before we got a not guilty in court this jan . Look after yourself.

[Casehardened]

Hi,

Have you read the sticky at the top of this section; it may answer some of your questions and also reassure you that, while this is personally alarming for you, this scenario is regularly played out.


http://www.daftmoo.org.uk/mooforum/s...at-happens-now

Edit to add that you will be able to consult a solicitor on the legal aid scheme if you are charged or if you are interviewed again

[barney]

Contact a specialist solicitor immediatly,If you want recommendation just post up you County and people will help, the inital contact will probably be free but at least you have a contact name and number if the British justice sysyem decided to play with your life. Please Please Please be aware the police are only looking for evidence to convict you and don't care what you have to defend yourself. DO NOT trust them.
You have entered a comletly 1 sided system and your on the wrong side. Turn self pity and fear into anger and use it to fight your corner, never loose focus on your inocence.

Good luck my friend and stay strong.

[thefrick]

Thanks casehardened I have read that. The first few scenarios is exactly whats happening to me at the moment. Thanks barney I live in xxxx in Dorset. Its fairly large and I'd imagine there's a fair few good specialist solicitors in the area but I can't be too sure. Hopefully somebody on here might know