Just a quickie!

[Believe]

My other half has been falsely accused. Some of you may remember my story which I had deleted as didn't want to upset anything.

However, after a year from when he was first questioned and after 7 rebails, having had all his equipment returned he never been requestioned, would you take this as a good sign that no charges will be brought against him? The police investigation took 8 months and the file has been with the cps for 4 months.

Surely if they were going to charge him they would have done it by now? They clearly have nothing on him or he would have been requesioned right?

My other half is a teacher and this is an allegation of historic abuse.

[lawlessone2009]

Have you had a solicitor make enquires as to what's happening?

Is he suspended from his job?

I would say with every passing day things look more positive but it's still not 'closure'. The CPS could simply have left it in the long grass...

Does he have a further bail date?

[Angry and frightened]

Hi Believe. I think it is disgusting the way police and CPS keep people hanging around, in total turmoil, with no information. Whilst you are just being "investigated" you should be treated as innocent. Instead you are presumed guilty. The "victim" has all the support, but the defendant is given no information, about how the case is progressing, whatsoever!
My husband asked the OIC, when she phoned him, how it was going, and she said "I cant possibly discuss that with you"! Why not? He is the falsely accused one and she could at least have told him how it was progressing or some advice!
Wishing you all the best and I suppose the only way would be to ask your solicitor, if you have one. But there again, you dont get legal aid until you have been charged. Where is the justice in all this? Take care

[Believe]

Thanks for your replies guys. He has been suspended with full pay. He also had no bail conditions. Was only questioned for about 2 hours and has had all his equipment back.

He does have a solicitor who thinks the whole thing is ridiculous and had been very supportive. In fact everyone had been supportive. The solicitor has basically said that there its no case to answer to if there is no evidence. This persons story is so fast fetched and is not just a simple ' I was raped' case, its a ' I was groomed and repeatedly forced to go places to be raped over the space of a year' story. There were numerous people included in this story, who if it were true would surely corroborate with what she its saying, but this does not appear to be the case otherwise he would have either been requestioned and charged by now surely?

My other half is feeling very positive about the whole thing, as are our family and friend and his coworkers. I appear to be the only one worried about this! I'm left thinking that it must just be me... But so many people appear to be charged for offenses they didn't commit. What makes my partners case any different?

[Believe]

His next bail date is this wednesday btw.

[Believe]

Have you had a solicitor make enquires as to what's happening?

yes, he had a letter last week from the solicitor to say that the OIC had been in touch and informed them that the case was now with so and so at the cps, and that t hecps had been informed they had had the file for a very long time and that a charging decision was expected by the next bail date. I think that its why I am particularly anxious this time round, knowing that it could either finally be over or it could continue. But I just can't see what evidence they would have to charge him, which they didn't have at the begining. If they didn't charge him then, why would they charge him now if nothing has changed?

[Casehardened]

As you rightly say, the charging decision should be made as soon as there is sufficient evidence.

If I had to make a guess at the delay (which is usually down to waiting for computer forensics to come back) I would say they were waiting to see if anyone else was going to come forward with similar allegations. You mentioned he is a teacher so, if the allegation had been true, this would have been a possibility. Because of his profession all the i's must be dotted and the t's crossed.

Hope all goes well on Wednesday

[Believe]

As you rightly say, the charging decision should be made as soon as there is sufficient evidence.

If I had to make a guess at the delay (which is usually down to waiting for computer forensics to come back) I would say they were waiting to see if anyone else was going to come forward with similar allegations. You mentioned he is a teacher so, if the allegation had been true, this would have been a possibility. Because of his profession all the i's must be dotted and the t's crossed.

Hope all goes well on Wednesday

Thanks case hardened, if you area being sensible about this then from an outside perspective what you have said would appear to be the case. That after an 8 month extensive investigation, taking statements from numerous witnesses, having checked and returned all of his equipment, there would surely be enough evidence (if it had happened) to charge him. The cps have had the file for 4 months, if this was a priority and they had a real chance of conviction then they wouldn't have waited this long. I would be advising that they are just sitting it for a while ' just to make sure'.

It's hard to be sensible however when you have two small children and everything depends on that one decision!

Do you think the fact that the OIC actually contacted the solicitor to inform them of the status if the case is a good thing? My thinking is that if they thought he the person who she claims him to be then they wouldn't be that polite!

[myhome]

Hi believe - I too am a teacher (well ex teacher eason not elated to the allegations) facing historic allegations from 23 years ago would you believe......having had no contact with the pupil since I left the school 23 years ago!!!!

This persons story is so fast fetched and is not just a simple ' I was raped' case, its a ' I was groomed and repeatedly forced to go places to be raped over the space of a year' story.

This is sounding a little familiar - mine too is unbelievably far fetched - multiple allegations (individual and joint against me and someone else) of sexual abuse rape and GBH - oh, and I'm female btw!!!!!

[Believe]

Hi believe - I too am a teacher (well ex teacher eason not elated to the allegations) facing historic allegations from 23 years ago would you believe......having had no contact with the pupil since I left the school 23 years ago!!!!

This is sounding a little familiar - mine too is unbelievably far fetched - multiple allegations (individual and joint against me and someone else) of sexual abuse rape and GBH - oh, and I'm female btw!!!!!

Hi my home,

I read your story when you first posted before Christmas. Were you actually attested for the allegation? The last I read you had just been questioned. My partner was arrested for sexual contact with a child aged 13 to 17, whilst in a position of trust. No mention of rape or Gbh or anything like that, which she did accuse him of. I don't want to post any details as you don't know who is snooping, but he was arrested almost a year ago. Since that day, there has been no other contact other than from the solicitor to update him on the progress and to inform him that he can collect his equipment and from a senior officer who questioned him about a complaint he made about the lack of communication he was receiving, which I might add has been much better since. We now get regular updates!

So far everything seems positive, but there is always that demon in the back of your mind saying " he's going to be charged, he's going to be charged!". Trying to remain positive when you have two small children is really difficult and grieving for the life you once had and the prospect that you're dreams may never come true all because some screwed up person decides to make up a random story and ruin your partners, yours and your children's lives. Not to mention the grief our families are enduring and the students who were abandoned in the middle of their gcse 's and all the tax payers money being spent on mental health services, counseling services, sickness benefits, gp's time, police time, my partners wages - the list goes on! I'm not actually even bitter anymore, just want this to be over for the sake of our children, this was not the life I had planned for them!

Sorry rant over!

[myhome]

Hi myhome, I read your story when you first posted before Christmas. Were you actually attested for the allegation? The last I read you had just been questioned.

No - I wasn't arrested then (mid November) and still haven't been......haven't posted many details on here - as you say - you never know who's snooping!

So far everything seems positive, but there is always that demon in the back of your mind saying " he's going to be charged, he's going to be charged!".

I'm the same - some days I think this is so ridiculous it can't possibly go any further, and other days I have me in a prison cell!!!

Trying to remain positive when you have two small children is really difficult and grieving for the life you once had and the prospect that you're dreams may never come true all because some screwed up person decides to make up a random story and ruin your partners, yours and your children's lives. Not to mention the grief our families are enduring and the students who were abandoned in the middle of their gcse 's and all the tax payers money being spent on mental health services, counseling services, sickness benefits, gp's time, police time, my partners wages - the list goes on! I'm not actually even bitter anymore, just want this to be over for the sake of our children, this was not the life I had planned for them!

Sorry rant over!

No need to apologise - ranting is essential sometimes....

[Believe]

No - I wasn't arrested then (mid November) and still haven't been......haven't posted many details on here - as you say - you never know who's snooping)

Thats really positive that you havnt been arrested , because they attest really easily, even based purely on the allegation alone. Which was what happened in my partners case. You should take alot of comfort in that. I know it doesnt make it go away, but in time it does start to have less significance. I tend to get really anxious leading up to the bail date, but have learned to deal with that too. The main reason im so on edge this time iss because of the letter from the solicitor. It kinda makes it all real again. That and the fact we have some other major family issues on both sides, so it's a really difficult time for us at the moment.

No one else who knows about this ids even slightly worried that he will be charged, but it really affected me to the point where I had a break down. I really couldn't core of this went any further, I'm just not sure I have the strength with everything else that's going on too...

[Believe]

Can I apologise for my terrible spelling! I am using my phone predictive text and can only see small sections of what I'm typing with difficulty reading it back!

[myhome]

but it really affected me to the point where I had a break down. I really couldn't core of this went any further, I'm just not sure I have the strength with everything else that's going on too...

I'm so sorry to read you had a breakdown (I did too in 2007 - this wasn't going on then) - so I can really empathise with how you're feeling and how it's affected you and your family.
I know that when you're in thick of things, it seems like the whole world is bleak and will never ever get any better, but it isn't (just this part of it), it does and it will. Some people say that life only throws things at you that you are strong enough to handle (or something like that). You have obvioulsy coped really well so far because you are still supporting your husband, yourself and raising your children, although - right me if I'm wrong - I'll bet you're beating yourself up for having a break down and your Gremlins are telling you how weak that was and that you're not coping well at all???? Ignore them! Argue with them! Would you let your best friend tell you that??
Have you been taking care of yourself? Have you been giving yourself some quality "me time."? When was the last time you gave yourself a break or a reward - bath with candles, bubbles and a glass of wine - day out with your friends - feet up in the afternoon with hot chocolate and a film - Bridget Jones does it for me - or Shirley Valentine -or a real inspiration "A Few Good Men." And before you tell yourself you couldn't it would be selfish (yep - I heard you!!!!) it isn't at all. You cannot expect yourself to keep going and going if you don't give yourself some time to top up your "emotional bank account."
Try to "step back" and deal with one thing at a time. For example, on the day you get a letter from the solicitor, which as you say, "brings it all back," ONLY THINK ABOUT AND DISCUSS THE FA that day. If the other family things intrude, or family outside demands your attention, be assertive and say that you're really sorry, you can't help them to-day, because you've something else on your mind/helping someone with something, but you will help them as soon as you're free/tomorrow/next week etc. If you're sorting out family "stuff" don't let the FA things intrude.
And, do you take any days where you don't spend time helping family/dealing with FA stuff? What about a day in the park/beach/woods/hills/adventure park/boating lake with your husband and children? Going out bowling/for a meal/film with just your husband where you "Ban" talking about anyhting that's worrying you? It's really therapeutic and when you get home you'll realise that for a few hours all of you were having a great time and didn't think about anything nasty at all. Chocolate and these help too!!!! x

[Believe]

My home, thats some lovely advice thank you! . The past year has been a huge learning curve, both personally and for my partner. At first I dealt with it pretty well, then my son started school in september and it all spiraled out of control. I was hoping everything would be over by this point and my other half would be able to go back to work after the summer holidays and all would be well again. When this didn't happen I kinda just melted, I think id had enough of being strong and waiting for that NFA layer to arrive. Up to that point we did all the things you suggeste, id made a point of putting it to the back of my mind and just thought if I didn't think about it our give it power then an NFA letter would come through the post one day and it would all be over!

But of course I was wrong! September through to november were a blur, I was so poorly. But I received some really good help and support and had started to come out the other side and accept what was happening and was even feeling strong enough to deal with it all. Then the other family stuff began and although I am keeping my head above water, every day is a struggle to remain there.

Your right, I did beat myself up, but I'm not doing that anymore. I feel I had to have that breakdown in order to learn a lesson and now I do feel stronger, but im still only a fraction of the person I was. I want this to be over now so we can enjoy being a family without having this hanging over us, without the guilt of spending money just incase my partner looses his job. I want us to grow and have the security we once had.

I'm sorry to hear about your breakdown, but I bet you are a stronger person for it? Thank you for your kind words, they mean so much x