Army Officer I hope someone can give me some advice please,

[Yorkster]

Zaphodski I too have lost everything haven't seen my 4 kids since September last year I'm living at my sisters sleeping on the couch , when the police removed me from my home in front of my kids all I came away with was a bag of clothes and my car .

I am now in the process of fighting both the criminal side and family court side , at Xmas I almost did do something silly with a bottle of vodka and some tablets ,but now no way will I give these parasites the chance to think they have won . Please stay strong my friend.

As people have said on many posts on here you are not alone and the advice you get on here is second to none god bless this site and all the people who need it

[zaphodski]

Already the friendly and supportive comments are extremely helpful.. Thank you all.

Since being told yesterday that the police would be in contact with me today, Ive sat all day awaiting the call...... its now 9 o'clock in the evening and nothing, no calls, nothing.

The waiting is terrible.

Why tell me yesterday, why not leave it until enough "evidence" or whatever was obtained and then get it over with.

Is this typical police practice, keep the accused in a state of limbo, going out of his mind with worry ????

[Boys don't cry]

Hello Zaphodski and welcome to the forum.

Didn't you give the police a mobile number as you seem to be stuck waiting for a phone call?

I can already see a few reasons why "someone" is accusing you of sexual assault.

There is a financial one because you seem to disagree with the split of the house.
There is a custody one as your step daughter warned your ex that she would move back with her father.
And there might be others...

You must absolutely keep this letter from your daughter in law stating that you are a wonderful dad.
If the case go further and if she is the one who is accusing you,you will be able to give a copy to your solicitor.

I know it is easy to say but try to keep calm.
If the police had already something against you,you would already know it by now.

Well done for starting a new life and keep strong,don't let anyone spoil this.

[Casehardened]

Is this typical police practice, keep the accused in a state of limbo, going out of his mind with worry ????

I can't second guess as to why the police came round to tell you about the allegation but I suspect the reason why you have heard nothing since is that they have moved on to more urgent (to them!) matters.

As an army officer you will know all about prioritising so perhaps you can take comfort in that your case is no longer at the top of their in-tray.

[zaphodski]

Thanks "Boy's don't cry.

The police have every piece of information about me, and I mean everything, phone numbers, bank details, car details, employer details.

My solicitor told me to just carry on, go to work and let the police come to me......I really don't want them turning up at my place of work however.

I think that once you have been convicted of an offence, it will stick with you forever.

as I said previously, I have bravery awards, I even got an MBE from the Queen, I have a letter of commendation from the US Secretary of Defence, the list goes on and on......... Unfortunately it now counts for NOTHING.

I mentioned this to my probation officer a while back. If I was, for example, to perform some extraordinary act of heroism, saving a drowning kid or rescuing someone under attack......the newspapers would report it as " Sex Offender saves child" !

I'm tarred with this label now, and nothing I'll ever do will change or alter this. Its horrible.

Twenty seven years of service, totally trashed because I was ill, stupid and had the misfortune of suffering from something even my surgeon had never dealt with before. LIFE SUCKS

[myhome]

I think that once you have been convicted of an offence, it will stick with you forever.

You're jumping way ahead - we all do that too and it's very hard not to - but - STOP and THINK - you haven't been arrested or charged for this one yet, let alone been to trial and convicted. It may never go that far....

as I said previously, I have bravery awards, I even got an MBE from the Queen, I have a letter of commendation from the US Secretary of Defence, the list goes on and on......... Unfortunately it now counts for NOTHING.

It does count for something - it counts for a lot of things - everything you did in the past that made you the person you were then and THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE

I mentioned this to my probation officer a while back. If I was, for example, to perform some extraordinary act of heroism, saving a drowning kid or rescuing someone under attack......the newspapers would report it as " Sex Offender saves child" !

you are not a sex offender. The headline could equally read ex army pilot MBE saves child despite having no pancreas or spleen

I'm tarred with this label now, and nothing I'll ever do will change or alter this.

No-one has attached that label to you - certainly none of us on here - nor the police or CPS and they may never...

Its horrible.

Yes it is and no-one can say any different - I call it my living hell - it does get easier but it takes time for the initial shock to lessen and you will possibly experience emotions you never knew you had....

Twenty seven years of service, totally trashed because I was ill, stupid and had the misfortune of suffering from something even my surgeon had never dealt with before.

- no it isn't - those twenty seven years and all the good you did and the bravery you showed can never be taken away from you. It is not your fault you got ill with an illness that hardly anyone has heard of - you have come out the other side of that and your past is still a very good past and one you deserve to be proud of...

LIFE SUCKS

Yes - a lot of the time - and then you meet everyone on here and you start to gradually realise that there are many many good people in the world.....

I have tears in my eyes reading this - it reminds me so much of how I felt at the start..... I can only say again - keep on here and we will help you all we can

[zaphodski]

Pancreatic insulinoma

Anyone out there who's heard of this condition?

Read this: http://www.actabiomedica.it/data/200...5/piccillo.pdf

or read this extract of a case study I found:

Case Report

In November 2004, a 42-year-old woman presented to our hospital emergency center with loss of consciousness. Her admission laboratory values were significant for a glucose level of 25 mg/dl. After glucose infusion (50 ml of 50%) the level of consciousness became better and she was only lethargic. The patient was subsequently admitted to the hospital for further work up.

Six years ago she admitted in our hospital because of recurrent seizure like attacks in the form of convulsive (tonic-clonic seizures) and also non-convulsive confusional states. Because of some other psychiatric symptoms like depressive complaints and also some psychotic behaviors the attacks was diagnosed as pseudoseizure and she admitted in psychiatry department with initial diagnosis of manic-depressive disorder.

[Yorkster]

You're jumping way ahead - we all do that too and it's very hard not to - but - STOP and THINK - you haven't been arrested or charged for this one yet, let alone been to trial and convicted. It may never go that far....


It does count for something - it counts for a lot of things - everything you did in the past that made you the person you were then and THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE


you are not a sex offender. The headline could equally read ex army pilot MBE saves child despite having no pancreas or spleen

No-one has attached that label to you - certainly none of us on here - nor the police or CPS and they may never...

Yes it is and no-one can say any different - I call it my living hell - it does get easier but it takes time for the initial shock to lessen and you will possibly experience emotions you never knew you had....
- no it isn't - those twenty seven years and all the good you did and the bravery you showed can never be taken away from you. It is not your fault you got ill with an illness that hardly anyone has heard of - you have come out the other side of that and your past is still a very good past and one you deserve to be proud of...

Yes - a lot of the time - and then you meet everyone on here and you start to gradually realise that there are many many good people in the world.....

I have tears in my eyes reading this - it reminds me so much of how I felt at the start..... I can only say again - keep on here and we will help you all we can

Well said

[Angry and frightened]

Well put, MYhome and Yorkster, wish I could write so well! Told you, Z, there are some lovely people on here!

[lawlessone2009]

Sex offender saves kid?

What's wrong with that?

Old man saves kid, kid saves kid, donkey saves kid....

The KID is the important part.

Sex offender? It's not exactly hard to end up being 'branded' a sex offender. It's a box that the government and their instituitions want to stick you in. They want to classify you as something and try to make you feel bad about it.

You have stated, in detail, what happened to you. Never mind you diagnosis, the very fact you were in a war torn country seeing the most horrendous things would most likely be enough to stick you in a different box from most civilians. You served you country and received recognition for it, unfortunately you were not shown quite the same support in return.

I'm still a little confused over the 'viewing explicit sexual material' actually making anyone an OFFENDER. I completely understand the legislative reasoning behind it but the manner in which they wish to drop offenders into a very badly defined and often misunderstood category (sex offender) just doesn't quite sit right in my mind. It's not really needing discussed, you weren't well and have the medical records to fully quantify it.

If the media wish to be ignorant and selective about how they report things then fool them. The main issue is that the majority of the public are completely blind to the virtual falseness and glorification that the media spins at every turn. The courts and governments love it too. If you saved a kid I would call you a hero, nothing else. I would have no requirement to be shallow and attempt to demean what you had achieved. I understand the media need to make everyone else feel as if they are better and more capable but the majority of people would care only about themselves and their own and would most likely leave the kid to drown.

As for your present situation. It seems to be involving a lot of speculation. You're here before being interviewed, ensure your solicitor is present and don't answer any questions without them present.

If you're finding it difficult then arrange an appointment with your GP or someone that you are able to communicate with. Don't bottle things up and do not self harm, seek help at the earliest opportunity!

Nearly everyone on here has been to hell and back in some way or another. We've speculated, we've looked at bridges, we've been questioned, we've been beaten up by people or indeed the media... Every aspect of almost anything you can imagine has been experienced by someone on here from the victim to the accused.

I would highly recommend you have a little read at some of the 'stickies'.
Go to the doctor!
Keep your solicitors number handy.
Get your ass into work, helps get your mind of things.
Buy a faster car!

Do something 'different'. If you've got a couple of quid spare away and skydive, bungie jump or do something that'll give you a 'rush' and help take your mind of things for at least 10mins, it's crucial if you're to be able to stay sane and deal with whatever is on the horizon.

Check back here, keep us updated on developments. Many members can guide you through awkward situations and give solid advice.

[zaphodski]

I'm truly humbled by the responses. I have tried being a "tough guy" all my life, this is tough, very tough.

I've given up waiting for the police today, guess i'll go to bed and try and sleep.


THANKS AGAIN THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO REPLY. I'M VERY GRATEFUL

[lawlessone2009]

Oh, and I forgot the most important part...


WELCOME.

[IvorBinWronged]

Let's be clear about this...

If I drop and smash a plate, then even with the best tlc and glue it'll still be a broken plate, even if I'd eaten some of the best meals on the world on it.

This guy IS a sex offender. He did it, was caught, admitted it and got punished for it.

My question is: where does this forum draw the line?

I don't support you (wholeheartedly)! I think you're just on the shi**y end of a malicious accusation but fair do's for what you did.

Just because you did a poxy course, you'll never right that wrong with your old family. Never.

Yes, they're after the money (she married him for the success and his daughter has his genes). She got with you because of your success but you blew it.

Don't you dare top yourself, not with your skills, go fly aid to dangerous place where children desperately need it and right this wrong. You need it. The UK is dead for you.

Don't you dare edit this (although I did!)

I've brooded over this one all blood* day!

Good luck.

[Casehardened]

This guy IS a sex offender. He did it, was caught, admitted it and got punished for it.

My question is: where does this forum draw the line?

I don't support you (wholeheartedly)! I think you're just on the shi**y end of a malicious accusation but fair do's for what you did.

Ivor,

Your response comes over as harsh, judgemental and unfeeling; the OP has accepted his conviction for possession and offered an explanation for his action. The suspended sentence indicates that the judge has some insight into the circumstances which led to these actions.

The OP is not asking for sympathy for his spent conviction but for support for the new accusation which was made some three years later; he has simply given us a full historical background to enable us to understand the background to the accusation that he faces.

I had intended to add that you in your turn had received understanding and support when you faced similar accusations but I am presently unable to recollect what the particular circumstances of your case are. Perhaps you would be kind enough to post a link to your first post in which you have described the accusation against you as you seem only to have added posts on other members threads.

Obviously there is no requirement for members to have posted about their experiences and there is no requirement for members to have been the subject of an accusation, but the purpose of the forum is to offer mutual support and so unless members are prepared to toe this line, there is no point in posting.

Your recent posts have come across as contentious, aggressive(veiled swearing) and not empathetic and certainly the post above is not helpful to someone who is by his own admission is at a very rocky stage in his life.

I am therefore minded to put you on mod preview so that your posts will inspected before going live, but in the best traditions of justice I offer you an opportunity to respond to me, apologise to the OP, or whatever (but if your responses contain any swearing, implied or not, judgement will be swift)

[IvorBinWronged]

this man IS a tough guy!

To even think of a scenario where he lives a happy life in this country is a non-starter. Yes he admits that he never got sexual gratification from the latter acts and he freely admits he never laid a hand on the kids but he is a sex offender and in the UK it's a blooming death sentence both mentally and morally.

I am sure that he will understand where I am coming from so we'll just leave him to post one back but if he was in my fold, I'd tell him straight - go make balance to this mess with the skills that you have and find some inner peace.

My story: I got FA'd out of malice and revenge. My experience with plod (from first contact to NFA) was one which was pretty standard - lies and pantomome aimed at fitting me up.

At first, I spent months just staring at the floor, I considered suicide 100 times a day, then added to that a list of people who had genuinely wronged me in life (just horrible nasty people) who ought to get a little visit from me. Before I hung myself. Then came a glimmer of hope in a little bit of new evidence, then the NFA.

I decided to get ultra-fit and travel to those places in the world where help was needed by people who had no chance of helping themselves.

Then out of the blue, I met someone truely beautiful and now I have a family and a very nice life.

I may come across brutish sometimes but please balance that with the times I am sensitive (this guy on this thread need straight talk as well as sensitivity). In addition, it must be noted that his posts were getting more and more of an identifiable nature - is he trying to "get caught in the act" again? Maybe he still has pangs of his original condition. I'm sure he'll get help here and I hope that he understands my angle of approach too. It WAS very brave to admit the things that he admitted.

Hey, I'll even name the ***** if you like lol. I bumped into her best friend about a year ago and immediately she said in a voice that gave it away "are you alright!".

"No I am bloody not!", I replied.

I immediately knew from then on that she had found out the truthof my FA's lies.

There are two lives here within me: one that is blissfully happy in the day to day world and the empty husk who has no trust (but utter contempt) of authority and government.

Please feel free to review my posts before general circulation, but have I said anything that didn't need to be said? As for attitude, they are words so please try not to add your own emotions to them. As for the swearing - even the mods do that time to time.