Army Officer I hope someone can give me some advice please,

[IvorBinWronged]

link fair do's with it's understandable.

Ivor,

Your response comes over as harsh, judgemental and unfeeling; the OP has accepted his conviction for possession and offered an explanation for his action. The suspended sentence indicates that the judge has some insight into the circumstances which led to these actions.

The OP is not asking for sympathy for his spent conviction but for support for the new accusation which was made some three years later; he has simply given us a full historical background to enable us to understand the background to the accusation that he faces.

He brought the young girl up and she understandably idolised him. She then finds out what he was doing in the same room as her. Give her a few months to formulate her feelings a bam! - one can understand why she has done this. Her story will probably get unfolded and he'll hopefully get NFA'd on it but the above description show the latitude between the two positions.

The judge more than likely considered his servive (which was obviously very extensive and challenging) and that is what gave him the suspended and the course - I'm sure that everyone but the hardest of anti-child abuse advocates agrees with the judge's decision.

On a final point: when the OP was doing 70 in his car lying on the passenger seat counting to 30, his chances of survival were slim. Why did the Universe let him live. Probably not to spend the next 40 years in the UK behind curtains living a life of regret!

[Casehardened]

IBW,

Thank you for your reasoned & full response, it's hard to equate this with your last post; guess you were having a bad night

I am sure that he will understand where I am coming from so we'll just leave him to post one back

You are of course right, he is more than capable of fighting his battles but as he is right at the beginning of this particular one he will be unduly sensitive at this point. Now at least he can read both of your posts in conjunction and indeed understand where you are coming from.

I've no real wish to monitor your posts, too much hassle & 'paperwork', so the scales of justice haven't yet tipped

[zaphodski]

IvorBinWronged

Thank you for your posts (both of them).

I did not take any offence from your first post, and yes, I only have myself to blame.

I was warned numerous times by my ex partner that my behaviour was becomming more and more erratic. The times after i'd often screamed and shouted at her and punched holes in the wall to the waking up at night in cold sweats mumbling and gibbering about nonesense. I never took heed of her concerns as I couldn't recall any bizarre behaviour on my count. My family aand friends noticed my violent mood swings and changes in personality too, but I chose to ignore their concerns.. After all, I was a roughy toughy soldier and felt indestructable.

My condition was only noticed after I had a routine blood test with my local GP. I received a call at 10'oclock in the evening saying an ambulance was on its way to my home and I was being admitted to the emergency department of the hospital.

At first the doctors thought I was having TIA's (transient ischemic attacks)...or mini strokes. It was only after numerous tests (some extremely painful), the true nature of my condition was diagnosed.

By then it was too late, I'd done what I did, I was caught and I was punished.

That however, is not the purpose of my post, regardless of my bizarre medical condition being ignored in court.

My concern is what's happening today. Firstly being arrested for harassment, then the day after it was NFA'd, having yet another accusation, and a much more serious one, made against me.

I cannot understand why someone who had underwent months of questioning by professionals (both police, SS and psychological) to ascertain whether i'd physically or sexually assulted/abused them, can now, on a whim, change their mind and say that I had.

I'm NOT looking for sympathy, I don't deserve any. I WAS guilty of viewing the most horrendous filth imaginable (yet try as I might I cannot recollect what the imagery actually contained). But I was not guilty of Harassment, I simply drove along a main road where my ex daughter inlaw happened to be walking, and I most certainly did not and would never of even contemplated hurting her or sexually assaulting her.

Again, I do not take offence at anything anybody writes on here, we each have our own views, some harsher than others. I just need to get this frustration off my chest as I have literally no-one with whom I can discuss my feelings. My shame runs very, very deep. I was once a proud and popular member of society. To be branded a pervert and shunned by the rest of humanity is a bitter pill to swallow.

[IvorBinWronged]

Please change straight for harsh.

Thank you for your posts (both of them).

I cannot understand why someone who had underwent months of questioning by professionals (both police, SS and psychological) to ascertain whether i'd physically or sexually assulted/abused them, can now, on a whim, change their mind and say that I had.

My shame runs very, very deep. I was once a proud and popular member of society. To be branded a pervert and shunned by the rest of humanity is a bitter pill to swallow.

Thanks for your posts too!

Whims are what puts a proportion of people on here. The FA's are always believed even if they have to construct a story around them to make it true.

I don't think you should feel shame for what you did. Maybe that course taught you otherwise. Try over the next two years or so to overpower that shame with a realisation that there's only you now. Only you. With that in mind, you can start to cleanse yourself with only nice activities. From there you will progress. It takes time but it works.

It did for me.

[lawlessone2009]

Ivor,

Your response comes over as harsh, judgemental and unfeeling; the OP has accepted his conviction for possession and offered an explanation for his action. The suspended sentence indicates that the judge has some insight into the circumstances which led to these actions.

The OP is not asking for sympathy for his spent conviction but for support for the new accusation which was made some three years later; he has simply given us a full historical background to enable us to understand the background to the accusation that he faces.

I had intended to add that you in your turn had received understanding and support when you faced similar accusations but I am presently unable to recollect what the particular circumstances of your case are. Perhaps you would be kind enough to post a link to your first post in which you have described the accusation against you as you seem only to have added posts on other members threads.

Obviously there is no requirement for members to have posted about their experiences and there is no requirement for members to have been the subject of an accusation, but the purpose of the forum is to offer mutual support and so unless members are prepared to toe this line, there is no point in posting.

Your recent posts have come across as contentious, aggressive(veiled swearing) and not empathetic and certainly the post above is not helpful to someone who is by his own admission is at a very rocky stage in his life.

I am therefore minded to put you on mod preview so that your posts will inspected before going live, but in the best traditions of justice I offer you an opportunity to respond to me, apologise to the OP, or whatever (but if your responses contain any swearing, implied or not, judgement will be swift)

I'm going to stick my neck out and take a hit on this one.

I've read and re-read the postings (both my own and subsequent ones) and believe that my posting was pretty responsible for IBWs 'tone' of reply.

I don't feel he quite meant it the way it was presented and that me posting up an acceptance, without much question, of the OPs previous conviction and then me going into a lot of nonsense about injustices of the system (which I strongly believe) could've well been more than enough to spur him into rage. I don't believe he was having a direct go at the OP but more making his own position and thoughts clear.

Being a forum I feel that he was entitled to do that. There is a line that shouldn't be 'crossed' and it is sometimes a difficult line to see. I don't feel that in this instance the line has actually been crossed. It is unfortunate that it seems that way but I really cannot see any malice or hatred within IBW postings, he's been brutally honest from his own perspective. I am also certain that the OP has dealt with far worse than merely some words on a forum.

Does it bring the forum into disrepute or damage the good work that everyone does on here? I don't feel it does. The OPs initial offering may well not sit at all with fellow members, indeed I had to question why it was still in place until I realised what the actual specific issues were and they are numerous. A quick glance at the thread, a bit of revulsion and little further reading could well result in the wrong impression being formed. I did it at first!

IBW doesn't seem to be focusing on what 'should' be happening in our country but more focused on what 'has' happened and has directly shared his view on it. He has, luckily, been able to quantify his view and express the context in which he was sharing it. I believe it will be of great benefit to the OP to have someone that is willing to be brutally honest, opinionated and straight to the bare facts. If the OP is at any time in the future to face a trial then these are the exact obstacles that he will need to overcome and without members of a jury being so forth coming with their thoughts. It is also worth mentioning that he will need a bloody good legal team who are able, in detail, to describe the circumstances and medical reasons for the previous conviction and ALSO the acceptance without argument of the previous conviction which he himself pled guilty too. It would need to be conveyed in a very expert manner that the previous conviction has left him open and vulnerable to subsequent allegations.

As for the OP. He continued to post and both parties appear to have made ammends. This is a great result and shows that this forum works. I fully support both parties and feel that any initial ill feeling has subsided enough that we can take the experiences and move forward. I actively encourage the OP to continue seeking some assistance on the forum, your case sounds pretty complex and different. You'll be able to share info with the rest of us as and when you get it and we will be able to, hopefully, help you make sense of it all and ensure that justice is seen to be done and in a fair manner. Because you were guilty of one thing does not make you guilty of another, that's going to be a big problem for you to overcome and you've already made a good choice by signing up on here and posting your issue.

Again, welcome.

[myhome]

Well put, MYhome and Yorkster, wish I could write so well! Told you, Z, there are some lovely people on here!

Aahhh - thank you.....

[IvorBinWronged]

It's also about credibility...

Nice post L1.

From the legal - why admit to the pc stuff and not to the allegation. I imagine that the OP's chances will be better as time goes on, if it even goes far.

He'll still have a long climb though.

Oh - found these quotes from gadget comments. They might as well go on here:

"Who knows how many rapes go unreported? A common reason given is that the victims don’t think the police will take them seriously. I would argue that a lot of ‘rapes’ are reported BECAUSE the ‘victim’ doesn’t think her claims will be taken seriously. I have lost count of the number of times I have spent hours seizing exhibits or transporting victims to sarc, only for them to admit they have made the whole thing up and didn’t realise we would go through all the rigmarole. A sad indictment on the individuals and the reason why all reports are treated with a degree of scepticism until we ask those searching questions."


Also:

"I’ve worked on a Sapphire Unit and it’s surprising how often rape is used as a tool for retaliation or some other illegitimate reason."

[lawlessone2009]

Nice post L1.

I did leave out 'casehardened' unfortunately.

Job done there too. It was a degree of control and some slack cut. Blooming good moderation. Hopefully no long lasting effects for anyone, if there is then throw some grief my way.

Overall the thread is falling together, I only hope the OP can bear with us all as we begin to deal with some of his issues and add in some support. It's quite a 'different' posting from what I have come to accept as the norm. It's the previous situation that's going to be the biggest obstacle to overcome both in a courtroom and with anyone that may doubt you. It's quite an obstacle for people on here and we're an understanding bunch! You're lucky you have defence training behind you but I would still be highly selective of who you inform if you choose to inform anyone. I was attacked by a close enough family member to actually be surprised!

You will also need to attempt to ensure it is kept away from the media circus. You've had a decorated career to a degree and the media just love it when someone of standing trips by the wayside. You do not want to find yourself a target!

If, as has been detailed, various people were involved in questioning and analysing your accuser then this will all be documented which will assist in a defence. It may also be an obstacle that she has to overcome in order to add legitamacy to her claims. I've split it between accuser and accused as both angles tend to assist a defence against the claims. Have you actually found out what the claims are yet?

[myhome]

It's quite an obstacle for people on here and we're an understanding bunch!

I just want to say - it's not an obstacle for me. If someone's personality is changed by a medical condition, then they can't help their actions and maybe even can't be held resposible for them. For example, an effect of the overwhelming "high" experienced by some people with Bi-Polar Disorder is the need to spend extravagant and often unnecessary amounts of money often incurring £thousands of debt. They can no more "help" this than Z can his compulsion to watch illegal porn. If his compulsion was to continually mow the grass (taking a bizarre idea out of my head) people would not be condemning him - they would be sympathising because he was ill. However, because his illness has impelled him to do something illegal and repulsive to mainstream society, it seems it's ok to condemn and say it was his fault and he deserves whatever is coming to him! It wasn't and he doesn't "deserve" it, although it is necessary in the eyes of the law to seek redress for this. Z has already admitted that he has ruined his own life and that he has no-one to turn to any more. Consider it from his point of view. Through no fault of his own, he has gone from being a successful and very well respected member of society, with a family,career and status, to the man who has posted his past on here and held his hands up to it....Society needs a much greater understanding and tolerance of mental illness..........

[Casehardened]

Some great supportive posts from members for the OP......


While reviewing the thread I noted this:

That however, is not the purpose of my post, regardless of my bizarre medical condition being ignored in court.

I'm assuming that the time line was conviction for possession, then the successful operation to cure the OP's medical condition which prompted the offences.

Therefore the condition has provided retrospective mitigation for the offence (but not a defence as guilt was admitted)

As IBW & L1 have already pointed out, the fact that the OP has a conviction for possession against his name and is on the SOR, is a trump card for the Crown, just as the initial denial of sexual assault by the accuser is a potential trump card for any defence that may be required.

Should the matter not be NFA'd, almost certainly the Crown will apply to have the previous conviction disclosed in court, and at this point the diagnosis and cure of the medical condition (pancreatic insulinoma) which led to the offence can be used as an arguement against disclosure.

[zaphodski]

Bad news

I apologise for not replying sooner to the recent posts but unfortunately things have taken a turn
For the worse. I am now being held in a secure mental health facility. I was sectioned yesterday afternoon.

I'm sorry to everyone who tried to help me but the overwhelming fear and anxiety the waiting for the police to call drove me over the edge. I simply cannot go through all this again.

I broke down completely at my very last appointment with my probation officer. The crisis team were called by my GP and I'm now writing this on my iPhone from my room in the hospital.

I'm very sorry. I found it easy to admit to something I WAS guilty of, I feel that because I am now branded as the worst thing in society, a presumption of guilt will always be considered against me.

I simply have no fight left in me and very little faith in the legal system.

[Saffron]

I don't know what to say. I'm sorry you are feeling so hopeless, but I am glad you are at least safe.
Look after yourself.

[Casehardened]

I am so sorry to hear this, you are indeed at a low point in your life just now.

However, swings and roundabouts, you will pull back from the brink and recover, note my signature line!

All of us who have responded to your posts will be thinking of you and sending our best wishes.

[RFLH]

I'm sorry to read this - but you are in a safe place where hopefully they can ease your stress and panic. If it helps to keep posting - please keep on.

Take care.

[lawlessone2009]

I apologise for not replying sooner to the recent posts but unfortunately things have taken a turn
For the worse. I am now being held in a secure mental health facility. I was sectioned yesterday afternoon.

I'm sorry to everyone who tried to help me but the overwhelming fear and anxiety the waiting for the police to call drove me over the edge. I simply cannot go through all this again.

I broke down completely at my very last appointment with my probation officer. The crisis team were called by my GP and I'm now writing this on my iPhone from my room in the hospital.

I'm very sorry. I found it easy to admit to something I WAS guilty of, I feel that because I am now branded as the worst thing in society, a presumption of guilt will always be considered against me.

I simply have no fight left in me and very little faith in the legal system.

You're in the exact place I will most likely end up if I ever have to face a false accusation ever again.

I hope that you make a reasonably quick recovery although we all know that 'recovery' isn't ever truly possible.

It generally IS easy to admit guilt. The lack of guilt is what really puts the pressure on and you will know as well as the rest of us that the courtrooms are full of 'chance' rather than justice. There are many clearly cut cases that end quickly but equally as many that shouldn't even be there and just as many that end with an innocent person languishing in jail.

It was indicated, superbly by Casehardened, that you have reasons why your past should have no bearing on your present. You were ill. There is also great positivity to be taken from the very fact that the past happened. The authorities already have analysis and facts to go on when considering the most recent accusation(s) which is something that a lot of individuals don't have the luxury off.

I am deeply sorry that you have found yourself where you are and I know it will take time but you need to fight and fight hard. You will be drained, tired, mind mangled and heaven knows what else so keep on posting when you feel you can just to keep the info flowing. When it comes time to share info with your legal team have them directed to your thread on here. The additional info and personality (that often lacks when dealing with people) will be evident for them to see. Your continued postings are not only benefitting yourself but will also be assisting others greatly. You are not alone in your journey through hell but I have to say your journey is tougher than most will experience but definitely not the worst.

Peace and harmony.