my life turned upside down

[steve22]

well i went to see citizens advice on monday and they said that reading my dismissal letter it felt wrong as they had no grounds , he told me to appeal , so i wrote back to them to appeal , the law for unfair dismissal has changed , i had only been there for 9 months , you need to be there for 2 years , but i have not been charged so they acted too soon , i am waiting to hear from them . also i rang the police yesterday to see where we were at with my case, the police woman concerned was on holiday , i left a message for here to contact me, i have asked for my phone back as it has all my family, friends and employment contacts in it and i dont have a record of them , so dont have any help , there is nothing on my phone but they go through the motions , i registered for unemployment yesterday , had to go back today to sign , a 13 mile jourmey for a one minute appointment , i had an appointment with a councelor today , i waited for 15 minutes before they told me she would not be in due to the weather, but they had tried to ring me, trouble is the police have the phone , got to wait 2 weeks for next appointment , i have already waited two , so no help at all

More bad news I am afraid. The police will hold your property until it has been examined- As mentioned in previous posts this seems to take a long long time. Anything you tell them will just be waved off as they have the right to hold things like phones and laptops in the interest of preserving evidence.

[just married]

Sorry to hear about this, jonathan. Well done for getting to the citizens advice bureau. Probably not a very helpful thing to say, but when the police kept my phone, first thing was to get to tescos and get myself a £20 prepay replacement. The rebuild your contacts list. A phone that works is a must, especially when there are people who might need to contact you, especially to help. There must be a way....


Sorry also to hear about the counsellor.... that's sod's law. However, when you do get to start a course of counselling, it will be worthwhile. Maybe the first session might be a little awkward, but you only get out what you put in, so you need to clearly explain your feelings..... there's a little questionnaire you get to fill in at every session, describing how you feel in various situations on a scale of 1-5. If you feel like sh*te, don't be afraid to say so. I think counsellors, like doctors, probably have far more experience of this situation than we give them credit for. It's a really good opportunity to talk to someone trained to listen and help guide you to understanding how to deal with the suffering.... I developed a really good relationship with my counsellor over a couple of months. Until, of course, she retired from NHS practice due to the cuts. I'm waiting to be referred for a new counsellor.

Well done also for getting registered for benefits... I'm sure it takes some time, and is traumatic enough in itself, but ultimately, hopefully, you will get payment back to the date when you first register, and if your work owe you more for their mistake with letting you go too early, then let's hope they will square up with you too.

Not sure contacting the police is a good idea, though it's exactly what I did. I think you can only wait for your bail return date.... make sure you have representation from a solicitor when you return, even if it's the duty solicitor.. It is possible to (I think a solicitor would need to do this for you, but other members may correct me) contact the police two or three days before your bail return date to see whether you would be likely to be a) rebailed. b) further questioned, c) NFAd. or d)charged.

[steve22]

It is possible to (I think a solicitor would need to do this for you, but other members may correct me) contact the police two or three days before your bail return date to see whether you would be likely to be a) rebailed. b) further questioned, c) NFAd. or d)charged.

I was told that i wouldn't know the outcome when i returned until i was back there however after changing to a better solicitor, they have told me that they will be calling ahead (a day or 2) for me so i can prepare myself. Definitely worth sorting out a brief who specialises in sexual offences and asking them to do it.

[jonathan]

thanks everyone

every bit of information and viewpoint helps , much apreciated

[jonathan]

jobs and crb checks

i got a call from an agency about a job, the trouble is that it is as a support worker, i would need a crb check to get the job . i told the agency of the allegation against me and they told me to go for the interview on thursday. i have not heard from sova or any other body barring me . i still have not been charged. who should i contact to see if i am allowed to apply . do i contact the police. it is 3 weeks now since i was arrested. i am now unemployed and signing on , i have put in an appeal against my dismissL ON THE GROUNDS OF CONSTRUCTIVE DISMISSAL , awaiting a reply, advice please

[just married]

Good to hear from you jonathan. Thanks for posting. I would have thought that if you managed to explain the situation to the agency, (well done) then you should do the same with the prospective employer. I don't think contacting the police is a good idea, especially on this subject. The best you'd be likely to get would be an opinion, which may or may not be accurate. Good luck with the interview... it sounds like you're keeping yourself well busy.
Hopefully more experienced members will join you later to give advice.

[Faith]

On the grounds of constructive dismissal?
Constructive dismissal is if you resigned for the job. What you want to be going for is unfair dismissal citing that they breached your human rights by inadvertedly prejudicing an ongoing investigation and reaching a premature judgement without being party to all of the facts

You will likely not hear about a barring decision until after the close of the police investigation, which is what your work should have waited for.

You are entitled to legal aid to cover solicitor/barrister costs in preparing for a tribunal. Find a solicitor who can advise you and get them to draw up a skeleton argument for your appeal.

I would not get your hopes up in being taken on in a care worker capacity during this investigation. The general stance would be to protect the vulnerable adults in your care and suspend you (albeit without prejudice) and that is only if you were a permanent employee. With this investigation ongoing, there is too much for them to risk to take you on. By all means attempt the interview but go in with your eyes wide open. First and foremost, a company will protect itself rather than risk giving you the benefit of the doubt.

Such is the way of the world I'm afraid.

Remember your 3 month time limit for lodging a tribunal. Your employer will be well aware of this and will employ any delaying tactics in their grasp to ensure you miss that. Don't be caught out.

[myhome]

I would not get your hopes up in being taken on in a care worker capacity during this investigation. The general stance would be to protect the vulnerable adults in your care and suspend you (albeit without prejudice) and that is only if you were a permanent employee.

I too work with vulnerable adults and was initially suspended on full pay, even though CEO said no-one believed the allegations at all. I am now back at work for the same company but am not allowed to work with clients until this is all over. We all know this is "daft" for want of a better word - but completely understandable. They have to protect their clients in case it turned out I'd been a great liar and was guilty....which I'm not of course..... Good luck with your job hunting -maybe look towards a completely different type of employment for a while? Just a thought.....

[just married]

can't get better advice in this specific area than from Faith and myhome, jonathan. Keep on keeping on.

[jonathan]

chamge of job

hi all, i got a text from the job centre today saying that i am entitled to benefit which is a reat help. i have decided to look at other types of employment as a stop gap, i can always look at support work in the future. also i had some good advice today about debt. i may be able to take out a debt relief order so that i could be debt free within a year. so out of the gloom things start to look and feel a lot better. the allegation is but a tempory blip as i have a clear concience on the whole affair . with that i have peace of mind. i dont even feel bitter about it, i have reasoned that there are two possible reasons for the allegation , that she is ill and needs help or that it was for spite because i never contacted her the next day and therefore never had a relationship with her ,
for every bad thing that happens to you there is a good , you just have to see it

[lawlessone2009]

the allegation is but a tempory blip as i have a clear concience on the whole affair . with that i have peace of mind.

Wait until your mind is that messed up you don't know what to believe...

There's a lot of fresh details that need answering, I've got to pop out unfortunately but I am happy to read you are still ambling along and not getting too angry.

[myhome]

also i had some good advice today about debt. i may be able to take out a debt relief order so that i could be debt free within a year.

Citizens Advice Bureaux are very good with helping with debt - if you can get an appointment to see them. You can no longer walk in, you have to phone to make an appointment first. Also a fantastic website for anything to do with money is www.moneysavingexpert.com There is also the National Debtline and the Money Advice Service. All this debt advice is FREE. NEVER pay for advice to get out of debt - it isn't necessary under any cicumstance - and only compunds the debt problem. There are on-line personal budget planners you can use. I think on moneysavingexpert there is a debt advice forum where you can post your personal monthly budget (incomings and outgoings) fairly comprehensively and members will pick it to bits for you - in a nice way - and show you where you can start making savings........

so out of the gloom things start to look and feel a lot better. the allegation is but a tempory blip as i have a clear concience on the whole affair . with that i have peace of mind. i dont even feel bitter about it,

This is sounding really positive - (but just a word of caution) - be aware that mood swings seems to a recurring theme on here!!!

for every bad thing that happens to you there is a good , you just have to see it

I might just steal this as my new favourite saying. Current one is one from Eleanor Roosevelt - "No-one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

[myhome]

can't get better advice in this specific area than from Faith and myhome, jonathan. Keep on keeping on.

awwww - thanks Town Mouse!!!!

[jonathan]

as always your words and advice is worth so much

hi all , every time you write i learn so much. i do have ups and downs , when i am awake i am able to busy myself and reason things out but when asleep the sub concience does the opposite, i imagine everyone goes through this . i am only 4 weeks in on this so still new, but learning so much from you guys , i read up on everything. i have an appeal lodged at work for thursday, but already know that they wont budge, but it is a process that i have to go through as do they in order to lodge an appeal for unfair dismissal , i have nothing to lose on that front, all i wanted from the employer was a bit of support. as for the allegation against me, my latest thoughts which are subject to change are that an nfa would be a bad result for me as it does not clear your name . i love support work and an nfa would block it , so i need a no crime, retraction of allegation or to be charged so that i can clear my name . in the meantime i am looking at all work that is available , i see the councellor on the 6th of feb and looking forward to it , thankyou for reading x

[jonathan]

false allegations a crime

hi all , i today sent an email to my mp ,i did a brief overview of my story and explained that i was but one of many , i explained of how a false allegation ruins lives and that we become the victim and get no support . also how there is punishment for the one that gives false information , i asked the mp could campaign for a change in the law.i hope to hear back soon , i will keep you all informed




the truth will shine through