sosowrong

[Sosowrong]

Hello there I haverecently been wrongly accused of raping my ex girlfriend. She is saying that I raped her whilst we were in bali attending the wedding of her sister. She was with all her family and I was the only member of my family. I was accused of pulling off her bikini and having intercause with her when she asked me not to. she has also accused me of having sex in bed some years later when she informed me that she was too tired. I am shocked and confused by these accusations. I have never forced a partner to have sex when I thought they would not want the same thing.
The reason behind these accusations are because we are still in the middle of a custody battle.
having been accused of both being a drug addict and a alcholic and having taken 2 urine, blood and hair follicle tests over the last three years and passed them all with flying colours. She was instusted by the courts to give me access to see my children. Only after this result did she decide that she would falsley accuse me of raping her. In response to this the courts dissmissed her claim due to its nature and timing. So she went to the police and reported it.
I am just hoping that they will see through these lies and realise why she has said them is for the purpose of stoping me seeing my children. All these problems seem to got worse after I got married to my wife now and we have a beautifull baby boy.
I would like to know if any body has been through anything like this. I cannot believe that I am now out on bail. I have never been arrested before in my life. My wife and my whole family are so upset and angry at what has been done to me. I never thought for one minute that just because I love my children that it could possibly put me in prison.

[Faith]

Welcome

Your situation is sadly not unheard of and the motive of this vicious woman appears very clear.
Last resort in a bitter custody war. The allegations of you being a drug addict etc will help enormously....ensure you inform your solicitor of this if you havent already.
Did you have a solicitor at police interview?

Unfortunately the process is long and you will go through a rollercoaster of emotions. Please keep coming back for support. I have moved your thread to the Falsely Accused of Rape section so that more members may see it.

[Sosowrong]

sosowrong

Thank for for that.
I had a duty officer present and he did seem pretty fair. He was an ex police man and he prepared me pretty well for the discusting questions that the police asked me. He also told me to make it very clear several times the reason why I was there. Because of my custudy battle for my kids. It saddens me soo much to think that maybe I wont see my baby take his first steps just because of a jealous woman.

[lawlessone2009]

Thank for for that.
I had a duty officer present and he did seem pretty fair. He was an ex police man and he prepared me pretty well for the discusting questions that the police asked me. He also told me to make it very clear several times the reason why I was there. Because of my custudy battle for my kids. It saddens me soo much to think that maybe I wont see my baby take his first steps just because of a jealous woman.

Rape in Bali? As in foreign country? Wouldn't imagine that the Police or the courts have managed to acquire international jurisdiction just yet....

I suppose the allegation regarding Bali is on the table to attempt to develop a course of conduct. I would sure as hell imagine that if there was to be a charge on the table then it'd be the 'tired' one and that one only. A good solicitor would surely be able to have 'Bali' thrown to the wind.

Taking into account your present circumstances with regards your children I can pretty much see exactly why the allegation exists. You can only hope that the legal people see it too although their warped money hungry brains might fight off any possible sensible thoughts.

There is another positive for the Police that arises from this allegation. You mentioned that you've never been in trouble before which would tend to suggest that they do not have your DNA on their lovely database. They do now. Another good honest citizen of this country processed and added to another overly expensive and marginally useful database...

[Sosowrong]

sosowrong

thank you. I am just so confused as I know that I have never forced myself upon a woman in my life and find the accusations very hurtful. Im trying not to think about what she has said as it makes me physically sick.

[whatsgoingon?]

I completely sympathise with this.... apart from realising your ex is not the person you thought she was ( or at the very least, there's a side to her you didn't know), she's making out that you're a person you're not and that's pretty hard to take. What adds to the confusion and leads to a further feeling of outrage is that the allegations are offensif to one's your own sense of decency and the questions asked an affront to your sense of modesty. I'm only just coming out the confusion bubble (though not completely!) almost a year after my son started to be investigated for sexual assault ( for which he's been charged).
It's likely to take a little while, you are likely to experience highs ( before and after re-bail were the worst for us) so hang on tight and although this does need your energy, don't spend all your energy on it. However, from the outside , your ex's motives do seem quite clear.
I think most of the people on here have also had these feelings ... so if it's a comfort .. you are not alone!
Take care.

[Sosowrong]

sosowrong

Thank you for your kind words. Its so hard to think of anything else at the moment. Your life just goes on hold. The only thing that keeps me going is that my family and most importantly my wife believe in me 100 percent. It is just so hard to think that this much upset can be caused by one nasty person and I just pray to god that the legal system works and they dont believe whats being said. I just live in hope.

[Sosowrong]

Hello there, I havnt been on this site for a while as i didnt have much to say. I have tried to ignore what has happened to me and have attempted to get on with my life which is not an easy task. Until recently I was drinking too much as a way of escape. Not clever I know. My new years resolution was and has been not to drink away my sorrows and so far so good.
Today I received a phone call from the head of our local CID. In a fairly informal chat he informed me that he had two more people to interview but in all likely hood there was no case against me and that he did not think that the case would go to CPS. I was shocked but pleasantly surprised that the police actually believed me as after a three year court battle to see my children something true and good should actually happen. I had convinced myself that I was going to prison for something I didnt even do. My friends and family think I was daft for thinking that the police would believe anything that my ex had said but when it is you that is being accused it is so hard to be positive. So I hope and pray that at last this horrible ordeal is over at last and I can get to see my children at last and go back to living a fairly normal life. (sorry for not keeping in touch on here but when deep inside my self and was in a dark place for a while).

[RFLH]

I think Lawless is right - I'm sure she would have had to have reported it in Bali and then had it followed up here.

I'm sure I'll be corrected if I'm wrong.

[myhome]

Hi sosowrong - this is sounding like the beginnings of good news and start of a new future for you - really hope so....MH