:(

[Meh]

Hello, I've been floating around the forum for a while reading posts and stuff which have someone helped and some didn't.

I got accused in January and I just can't stop feeling crappy. Due to mental health issues im already on anti depressants and the like so doctor can't do anything for me.

I just really don't know what to do now. I can't leave my home because I'm just overwhelmed with the idea she's told everyone and I just can't stop crying :'(

[Canuk]

Well, you have come to the right place. One of the things that was really upsetting me was I didn't want to tell anyone what was going on, so I came here and just shared my story and It really helped me feel better. I realize there are a few people who have came here and fell through the cracks of the justice system. I am sure their loved ones are doing everything they can to get those innocent people released from prison. There is however many positive stories of people being found not guilty and also stories of no evidence to go to trial.

When this first happened to me I went through a fear stage for the first couple of weeks and now I feel less fear and more anger about it. Not only am I dealing with the rape lies (which by the way she made nice round numbers of 6 - 12 and 18 months, I guess that makes it easier for her to remember that lie) but I am also dealing with her contacting me all the time. I have alot of stress over this and worry I am going to go to jail for breach of bail. I have lost my job, custody of my children and probably will lose my freedom until Trial. I so much want to go to the police about everything she has done to me and other men but it's pointless right now because the police can't be trusted to do the right thing.


Just stay strong brother and don't be afraid to share your story.

[RFLH]

good post Canuk.

Hi and welcome to the forum - officially!

You must try to make the effort to get out and about, you may think that everyone knows, but in truth - no-one actually cares about anyone else - they all have their fair share of problems.

Share you story when you feel able and hopefully you'll get some useful advice.

[Meh]

You'll have to bare with my poor explaining, but I shall try my best. And I'll keep it short as it keeps logging me out and It's killing me to type over and over

(I'll keep this little bit short because it is basically like many of the other the stories.)
I threw a party, got drunk, went sleep in a chair in the living room, woke up in bed (clothed, I never sleep naked) this in itself was strange however I rationalised it dwn to being Winter and me getting cold as I'd given my jacket to someone else. Everything was dandy then later on the police are drumming the door saying I'd raped someone.

Then I was taken to the station, where I was interviewed after being held for a day waiting on a responsible adult and a duty solicitor because of my mental health conditions.

At this point my head was a shed, I was in a strange environment, and having gone through this somewhat before years ago (Because other accuser didn't want her boyfriend to know she was sleeping around ) I knew how destroyed that left me even though it was dropped straight away.

Anyway I told the police what I knew which at that point was very muddled, anyway I was bailed and I returned in two months for a second interview, at this point the pictures in my head had developed so to speak and was more able to explain what had happened from my side. However alot of this was me logically stringing the pictures together having done nothing but played through an infinite amount of scenarios over and over. Anyway cut a long story short it turns out that there is DNA to suggest sex had occured to which this point I was shocked, I ALWAYS remember having sex, and even more so after being accused years prior as I came to understand how evil women are !! But even so at this time I had a personal checklist for even kissing someone let alone sleeping with them. Leading to my only conclusion that she must of slept with me whilst I was asleep, its the only logical explanation. More so that i can remember punching someone off me but my solicitor said I shouldn't mention it as I am unable to identify who it was or if I was even awake. But very strange thing to dream at that sort of moment...

Is there anyway the police can work out who slept with who ?? surely gravity would effect fluids and what not etc ?

I feel like im going to be screwed over for something I'd never in a million years do,I was raised to be a gentleman and after prior incident even everytime I slept with my gf id ask if she was okay and stuff to make sure I wasn't doing anything against her will which ultimately ruined our sex life. Which lead to other issues thus splitting up a few times blah blah back to the point.

I just don't know whats going on and no doubt am going to be charged tomorrow due to there being DNA present, whats the procedure with this ??

I read somewhere about personal statement things too, how valid are they in court should it come down to that ??

I'm so mentally drained I've become nothing but a husk of myself, I've started self harming as its the only stress release that seems to work. I've been so careful not to even put myself in a position like this ever again, I just not sure what else I can use in a defence sense I got a specialist solicitor sorted who deals with sex cases and people on the autistic spectrum and should worse come to worse im now a dab hand at making nooses.

I've skimmed alot of the details btw. Feel free to ask anything if you like.

[Boys don't cry]

Hi Meh and welcome to the forum.

Ps:Thank you Canuk for your excellent post.

You had a party so there might be some witnesses who could testify for you.

Did you know the accuser,would she have a motive against you to do so?

Please try to stop self harming yourself and instead go for a run or try to keep physically busy.
You can always post in this forum,within a few hours someone will answer.

Most of us are or have been in a similar situation and can understand your dilemna.

Does your family or friends know about this and talking to someone will always be a kind of relief.
Otherwise,I suggest you call the Samaritans anytime.

Did you try to contact a solicitor secialised in rape allegations?.
You must be strong and keep faith.

If you are tired to type all the time because you are logged out of the website (I thought I was the only one):
Before you submit your reply,copy your post and then paste it back when you are back in.

[Meh]

Hello and thanks to everyone who has replied.

Yes there is the police took statements off everyone there, and my flat mate and 2 of his friends were in the room next door up all night and the walls are paper thin. There was also someone asleep pretty much outside my door too.

I knew her to an extent, I'd gone round her house with a good friend (her bestfriend at the time I think they were always together) and we all got drunk, then I added her to facebook and we talked through that quite alot. Her bestfriend since the accusation is no longer speaking to her I believe which says something.

As for motive I wouldn't of thought so i'm an easy guy to get along with, and she posted all the pictures of said party on her profile etc. It'd seem it wasn't until she seen her parents that she went to the police.

And I told a few of my close friends, and they're being really supportive and stuff. If I told my family I'd just get disowned.

And as far as im aware my soliciter does deal with rape allegations had some friends look for me to double check because im useless at that sort of thing, they also specialise with people with autism too which is a bonus as its hard having to explain stuff.

I always excercise and stuff to stay healthy, but it isnt really helping in the stress, anxiety department but my friend dropped me off some Prozac which are working quite nicely.

It's hard to be strong when you have little faith in humanity especially if things like this are allowed to happen, but im trying my best which is all I can do really. I just want to know what I should expect tomorrow will it be a simple you're charged court is here at this time /you're not charged in and out jobby. I couldnt bare spending another night in there. Especially as my Nephew has been born and I want to see him as soon as possible

[Boys don't cry]

There are only 3 options for tomorrow:

-No Further Action which would be the best.
-Rebail.
-Charge against you in the worst case scenario.

In the meantime your only option is to wait and try to have a ggod night.

[RFLH]

please don't take anyone elses meds - you don't know what effect they may have on you.

[Meh]

Cheers Boys don't cry, I guess it's even more waiting game then

At least i'll have an idea of whats going on tomorrow I guess, hopefully this notion will get me some sleep tonight.

I know that RFLH luckily I used to be on them so I know they're perfectly fine

[stressed out]

stressed out

hi

I read your post and I know, it is hard to concentrate on other stuffs when this big thing in head but every after a bad night, good day do come so don't worry, everything will be fine and I really hope that you get NFA.

[erin]

prozac takes 6 weeks before it works and you need to take it everyday,dont use another persons meds go see a dr and prozac might be the wrong meds for you.................................there are diffrent anti depressants not all of them work so dr has to tweak it for you and you might be doing the wrong thing

[lawlessone2009]

Personally, don't take ANY medication.

Ask your doctor what alternatives exist to medication with highly dubious drugs.

It may be that a £30 gym membership does you more good that strange pills from the doctors.

As for the accusation and the bail and the rest of it. Don't get too wound up or concerned about it. You may believe your life is coming to an end but I can assure you that it is simply entering another phase. You will come out the other side of this and you will still be you unless you let others change YOU.

Your defence as it stands is a little odd but by no means out of the ordinary. Alcohol and sex and forgetfulness all go together. Look at it from your accusers point of view, maybe she was pissed, slept with you, doesn't believe that she did and that you must've forced yourself on her etc...

I wasn't there and cannot possibly begin to give answers to any of the reasons for the subsequent complaint filed with the Police. I am merely saying that your confusion could be equal if not lesser than her confusion.

Maybe all that happened was that when you were both finished you said something or your attitude was different and it immediately filled her full of revulsion? Hell, there's a million possibilities here and you're not going to be much the wiser until you either hear it from her mouth in the courtroom or have it all explained perfectly by a solicitor.

We're all left guessing on here and we're here to support you. There are many who can provide legal insight and many who can provide emotional soothing. Me personally, I recommend that you share your issues on here, get support in return and all the while have yourself down the gym or out in the countryside for a walk. Don't touch medication and certainly not someone elses.

[Faith]

Highly dubious drugs?
The doctors aren't prescribing cocaine!

An approach to medication is a personal thing...for many it keeps them from dipping too low

[brokenman81]

I have just about managed without medication!! It's been the most horrible, turbulent time of my life!!

[erin]

Wow I think my meds is the only thing besides the family I love from not just telling everyone I love them............................Going out having the perfect day doing some fun things then going to the best hotel suite and getting drunk then taking a few hundred sleeping pills,so in 1 more month I will have been on trial for 2 years and I can not stress how much Anti-depressants has saved me from ending it-and we are talking about the first 6 months I felt so much pain I didn't know why I was in this situation! I knew there was no rape!!! but suddenly my life went to them wanting my balls on a skewer excuse my french.Now i take the medication and im still waiting trial but im a lot stronger