Stunned

[Stunned9]

Good evening guys,

Firstly a massive thanks to everyone who posts here, the work you people do to run this page is amazing.

My father is a healthcare professional who has been accused of assault, touching basically. It is absolutely mind-boggling. He is so gentle and has been a fantastic role model to not only his family but so many more people I know. He has risked his own life so many times to go in war zones to help people in need and this whole accusation is just mind-boggling. It really is. Even as a law student I can find so many holes and lies in her story. Her bf who was nowhere in the eginging is now suddenly lying everywhere as well about how he was there afterwards wen this alleged incident happened etc when in truth the idiot was NOWHERE when this alleged offence happened! And we know they're lying together and we have told and passed on anything relevant to our lawyer. This story changing at every turn is sickening and disgusting.

Its so stressful for us as a family. We all live together and I haven't even eaten properly since this started, my brother hasn't even studied properly and my Dad just has been so stunned that he is scared to even go near a woman without having someone with him.

As his son it breaks my heart in words I can't describe.

We gave a no comment interview, we have a very good solicitor dealing with our case and the police took nothing from our search and nothing from him at the station.

It is so hurtful even an allegation like this alone can rip apart us all mentally. I wanted to purse a career in health care and Medicine but even now I am having second thoughts, the thought of me in a room with a girl alone I don't know how my Dad or I can even do it in the future. Innocent until guilty? Right.

His bail is till next month, its only been a few weeks now. I just don't what we'll do if this doesn't get dropped. Our whole world has been turned upside down.

Police have been very gentle and professional with him, we were very thankful for that and hats off to them!

[Faith]

Hello and welcome, I am sorry to hear what you are all going through.It sounds as if you are satsfied with your legal representation...but ensure that they are familiar with dealing with sexual offences cases...they are very different from other areas of criminal law.

What will be happening now is the police will be gathering evidence to build a case which will be sent to the CPS...who will then decide if he will be charged
Unfortunately there is little you can do in the interim...but any evidence you find...pass it to your solicitor only...not the police,no matter how nice and gentle they are being.

Take Care

[Stunned9]

Hello and welcome, I am sorry to hear what you are all going through.It sounds as if you are satsfied with your legal representation...but ensure that they are familiar with dealing with sexual offences cases...they are very different from other areas of criminal law.

What will be happening now is the police will be gathering evidence to build a case which will be sent to the CPS...who will then decide if he will be charged
Unfortunately there is little you can do in the interim...but any evidence you find...pass it to your solicitor only...not the police,no matter how nice and gentle they are being.

Take Care

Hi Faith,

Yes our solicitor only deals with cases defending Medical Professionals especially sexual offences, she was also involved in the Harold Shipman case so thankfully we know she knows her stuff. She was present with my father during his interview.

And yes all the important things we passed to our solicitor as soon as we could.

Also I have read your story and your and Saffron, RFH's posts. God bless you all for helping others, I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

[Faith]

Im glad you have a decent solicitor on your side

[Casehardened]

Hi, sorry to read your story, but welcome.

As you've had a read of other's experiences on the forum you've probably realised that this can drag on for a long while so it would be best to pre-warn your father of this.

He may possibly be rebailed when the date is due, ironically this is more likely when the case against the accused is weak, though thankfully this time there won't be the usual months of waiting for computer forensics to come back.

[RFLH]

I know its easier said than done - but do try not to let it take over your life 24/7. Get out and about and hold your heads high.

[Saffron]

Excellent advice so far.
I would also add that your Dad should use this time to gather some references from people who are prepared to say that they know he wouldn't do this.
As RFLH says, try to lead as normal a life as you can. I know it seems impossible right now, but believe me, there will be days when you hardly think of it at all.
If you are finding it difficult to eat, treat yourself to a small amount of your favourite food. Scallops with a little chilli and balsamic always worked for me! If no-one in the family feels like cooking, try a ready-meal. Exercise is great too, both physical and mental, so go for a walk, clean the house, organise your filing system, do a crossword/sudoku etc. You need to keep yourself physically and mentally fit.
Hang in there

[Stunned9]

Thanks guys, I am just hoping its an NFA, so fingers crossed! I am getting him ready for anything.

As for character references shouldn't be a problem, I keep telling my father he's so lucky everyone he knows believes him, every single family and friend and people who are from all walks of life and careers. Everyone has been fantastic.

We try to distract him as much as possible, to keep his stress levels down.

Our brain tries to think of the worst scenarios and its just heart-breaking tbh, he's a gentle soul and to even associate ''sexual assault'' or prison with him is heart-breaking for us as a family. I was numb and in shock when we found out.

Thanks to all of you here, I read this forum everyday and the comfort I get is amazing.

[lawlessone2009]

Thanks guys, I am just hoping its an NFA, so fingers crossed! I am getting him ready for anything.

As for character references shouldn't be a problem, I keep telling my father he's so lucky everyone he knows believes him, every single family and friend and people who are from all walks of life and careers. Everyone has been fantastic.

We try to distract him as much as possible, to keep his stress levels down.

Our brain tries to think of the worst scenarios and its just heart-breaking tbh, he's a gentle soul and to even associate ''sexual assault'' or prison with him is heart-breaking for us as a family. I was numb and in shock when we found out.

Thanks to all of you here, I read this forum everyday and the comfort I get is amazing.

You don't want NFA... You want No Crime!

As for character references, good.

As for everyone knowing him, bad. It takes one nutter to make up an allegation and BANG, all the nutters come out the paintwork (I know, woodwork) and start making allegations! Another FALSE allegation made by a seperate person will give strength to the original, you guys need to really watch this one.

The Police will sit back and string this out. They're all getting paid for it after all.............

You've got a good solicitor. You're on here reading and no doubt gathering info elsewhere. Don't get obsessive about it but make sure you keep yourself informed.

As for choosing a career in the medical industry. You've now seen how easily this can possibly be brought to an end with no thanks and the threat of jail. I'm not here to make up your mind but I would consider it extremely seriously if your mind is still tempted.

[Faith]

You don't want NFA... You want No Crime!

This is a fairly rare scenario unfortunately...

[IvorBinWronged]

Hello there.

You sound like a nice family which is why it's hurting you all the more. Get two things done right now:

cholesterol tests for the folks - you need to know that they are not too much at risk from the stress

more regular BP monitoring

Hey - go look up serrazyme

Don't give up on your dreams - if you want to be a healthcare worker then do it although if you have a brain and are looking to go into further study then something that blooming pays would be better like business and finance or accounting - nothing worse than being saddled with debt and a first in media studies lol

No one can be sure really but when you apply Occam's Razor to your scenario, you as a family will be ok and will look back upon this nightmare as character building. If it was me, I'd try to employ a bit of humour like when Mum went out of the room leaving me with Dad and came back in I'd be on the floor full-foetal sucking my thumb chanting "safe place".

It's you that can lead your family through this one...

Good luck.

[largactyl1]

Hi there, welcome to the forum but I'm so sorry that you have had to find us. I'm glad that the people who know you all are being supportive, that should help your Dad cope - particularly the love and support of you and the rest of your family.
Kind regards
Jen

[Stunned9]

Rebail

Hi guys,

Well its a rebail as expected till next month.

We have been trying to live normally as much as we can and we are confident no matter what happens her lies will be exposed.

I was going to be surprised that the CPS still haven't discovered her lies but after reading this forum my motto, after this insightful quote from someone here, has been ''hope for the best, prepare for the worst''.

[fighter]

hi stunned! sorry for the late welcome. It is good that you are confident that lies will be exposed. Several rebail is like a normal norm now so yes definitely nothing much to be worried yet except more waiting.. sending you lots of positive vibes ! take care of yourself and your family. It is good you have found this forum now.

[RFLH]

keep battling and try to carry on as normal, easier said than done - but try not to let it take over your life to the exclusion of living it.