So angry and hurt

[worriedandconcerned]

I think Faith has given excellent advice.
I originally had a solicitor that i really wasnt happy with and really did not instil confidence.
I then decided to go with EBR Attridge and Gerry Mcdonald.
If you would like his personal number pm me and i will give it to you.

[HeyYou]

Don't know if anyone replied to the drugs part but they would have more then likely been out of her system by then from what I've heard. My house mate was drugged in a nightclub this year (who ever drugged it meant it for his girlfriend but his girlfriend was to drunk to drink her drink so he did so the drink wasn't wasted) and he went to the police even less then 18 hours after and they said to him they couldn't do anything about it because it would have been out the system by then and they refused to check the CCTV in the nightclub too.

[So angry and hurt]

So angry and hurt

Thanks for that , just got back from solicitor, and it seems we will have to spend a lot more time on this with the team, I found that it was hard because we were trying to get the whole story out at once and when he said we would have a lot more time to talk I was quite relieved, my son was relaxed and spoke well and he also remembered some really useful stuff we are still waiting for all of the evidence so unless they have managed to fabricate any more lies it looks ok . The solicitor didn't get too bold but he was reassuring . We have to write down things as we remember them . He was very detailed in his questions .
He thinks that it probably won't go to trial until next year! I am sooooo angry with her I can't express it in words, maybe I'll take up a new hobby to take my mind off things but then naa I'm not in the mood
Thanks for this forum xx it helps to write it all down How many ofthesecases go to courting a year?
Well one ore thing somebody said to me that the prosecution must be quite sure they can convict or they wouldn't be taking it to court? Can I have your thoughts please .

[Boys don't cry]

Thanks for that , We have to write down things as we remember them . He was very detailed in his questions .
He thinks that it probably won't go to trial until next year! I am sooooo angry with her I can't express it in words, maybe I'll take up a new hobby to take my mind off things but then naa I'm not in the mood
Thanks for this forum xx it helps to write it all down How many ofthesecases go to courting a year?
Well one ore thing somebody said to me that the prosecution must be quite sure they can convict or they wouldn't be taking it to court? Can I have your thoughts please .

So angry and hurt

Your son must write down things as he remembers them.This is not a joke,he should always keep something to record evenements (even a A4 sheet and only a pen can be a .... of a lot helplful.
Details,dates ,time,...are extremely important.But your son can't just invent them,it must be the truth.
If he makes just one mistake with anything...
He must prove the jury that she was consenting.
No guessing,no lying,...

About the prosecution must be sure...Just if they have 51% chances to put your son into jail they will try.

So tell your son to be strong and to fight,he doesn't have the choice and be hard on him as much as you love him.
It is for his own good.
Take care both of you

[Casehardened]

Well one ore thing somebody said to me that the prosecution must be quite sure they can convict or they wouldn't be taking it to court? Can I have your thoughts please .

Hi,

'Quite sure' is probably not the right phrase, the term used is 'a realistic prospect of conviction' which has a bit more of 'lets hope for a following wind' about it!

If you wanted some insight into the reasoning of the CPS google 'evidential test CPS' but do remember, as many members have advised you, that the jury will determine the outcome rather than the CPS.

It's good that you both felt confident with the solicitor, everything works better if there is some personal rapport

[So angry and hurt]

So angry and hurt

Well I tried to stop writing for a while to see if I could sleep a bit better if I stopped thinking about it all.
It didnt work! So looking for a few friends again, I wish I had a majic wand, I have been looking through statements and everything looks awful when it's written down, even the most normal of things, like the sort of everyday stuff looks sinister and out of context.
I'd like to go to a trial and watch how it all works but I wouldn't know where to start and I might have to shout out from the public gallery, also I am worrying because I don't seem to see many members writing of outcomes to previous trials, does that mean they are all locked up!!!
I do hope not because that means we can't trust the system at all.

[Faith]

No it means that once their ordeal is over and they want to forget it so don't return to the forum

[Boys don't cry]

No it means that once their ordeal is over and they want to forget it so don't return to the forum

Exactement!

Anyone would like to erase this passage in their life but I am 100% sure it is not possible.

I realised that one of the member didn't post since he has been found not guilty except to give support to W&C.

I have still lots of respect for him and understand...

Like my judge said "Everyone is different"...

We all try to find ways to cope afterwards and I will never blame someone who doesn't post anymore...

It is our own choice.
It is my choice.

Take care and your son.

[So angry and hurt]

So angry and hurt

In some of the posts i read it says that the cps have to decide to drop the case (not the alleged victim )
So if and when cps decide to do this, how soon do they tell you and exactly HOW do they tell you?do they contact you directly or wait for the next court date or tell your solicitor first? And if a person suddenly says they want to pull out are they then interviewed for wasting police time?

[So angry and hurt]

So angry and hurt

If the cps suddenly decide not to continue, how and when do they tell you and if this is because of the complainant withdrawing a statement do they then interview them at length for wasting police time? Thankyou as always for being here x

[Faith]

The CPS will look at the case and make a decision whether to proceed. They can inform you anyway such as at a bail date or via your solicitor (incidentally, get your solicitor to contact them a few days before your bail date to get an indication)
You would then ask for written confirmation of the NFA.

If the complainant goes on to inform the police that they want to withdraw their complaint, they would likely be warned that they could be prosecuted for making a false claim and wasting police time.

[Rights Fighter]

Some people make a false retraction as in the case last year where the woman withdrew her complaint of rape due to pressure from her husband's family, but she still maintained he raped her - so she was prosecuted for making a false retraction and did time for it. She was terrified of her husband and his family and it seems she preferred to do time than to continue with the case against him.

It is rare that a complainant will retract - for whatever reason - that they lied or the assaults really did occur but they couldn't cope with the case.

[whatsgoingon?]

Thankyou so much I nearly cried when I saw a reply so soon. My son is 19 yrs old, has been accused of non consensual sex with somebody he worked with for four years . ( she is a married woman and has only been married under a year) she has already had an affair ( well one-night-stand) ( With some random man )
We have to go to crown court for prelimanary hearing. She has tried to say that she was unable to consent due to the fact that she thinks she was date raped by my son. As far as we can see from the little evidence we have seen there were no drugs in her system but the forensic says that the blood test was too late to tell She says she can only remember flash backs from that evening , I suppose that will excuse the fact that she was dirty dancing with half the men in the party with only her knickers on.

My son who is adorable ! Made a statement to the police when they arrested him it was frank and honest he told them exactly what happened and his solicitor told him he had done well to give an accurate account. As far as I can see there is only one question to answer did she consent or not , I know who I believe but how do we prove it when there were only two people in the room? We know that the reason she has scremed rape is because she knows that my son will have told people where they both work and there would have been a good chance her friends, family and husband will have found out,. Sorry I am ranting !!!

Hello So Angry and Hurt, My son is adorable too, and I'm so glad you said that! He also gave a frank interview, possibly to his detriment. How could anyone dream all this is for real? It's only once you're in it that you realise what a maze it is. As a woman and mother it's particularly confusing.
I went to see a councillor because I realised I wasn't handling things well and she was very kind and said something which I found very helpful 'Have you thought about after you get through this, because you will get through, there will be another side.'
What is so hard is the time, the waiting, the bail interviews, all of which could be made more humane.
My son is remarkably getting on with his life (without us because we live abroad) which is what I know I must do.
We've still got a long way to go and I'm relatively new on here, but I wish you and your son all the very best of courage and luck .

[So angry and hurt]

So angry and hurt

Thankyou for taking time to write, it stirs up so many emotions reading other people's story's , I must say that whilst reading yours it felt like you had written exactly what I was feeling, all the anger and frustrations of this ludicrous justice system, and the vulnerability of your son ,so many similarities in your story to ours and how dreadful it must be for you to be so far away.
My son is coping well because he has always maintained his innocence, he says the whole thing is a load of **** and he very rarely talks about it, and when he does he tells ME not to worry and says that SHE will be caught out lying in court.
I also wanted to say that I really really don't think your sons case will get to court ( I know I'm not a legal eagle! ) but I do have common sense, let's hope the CPS get some too.
This is a dreadful time for us all I hope that our boys don't come out of this emotionally scarred, I know I am, and however this ends for us I will never be the same person again.
Just another thing , did you tell your son about this forum ? I think it could really help him.
Good luck to you and your son I am thinking of you

[whatsgoingon?]

Thankyou for taking time to write, it stirs up so many emotions reading other people's story's , I must say that whilst reading yours it felt like you had written exactly what I was feeling, all the anger and frustrations of this ludicrous justice system, and the vulnerability of your son ,so many similarities in your story to ours and how dreadful it must be for you to be so far away.
My son is coping well because he has always maintained his innocence, he says the whole thing is a load of **** and he very rarely talks about it, and when he does he tells ME not to worry and says that SHE will be caught out lying in court.
I also wanted to say that I really really don't think your sons case will get to court ( I know I'm not a legal eagle! ) but I do have common sense, let's hope the CPS get some too.
This is a dreadful time for us all I hope that our boys don't come out of this emotionally scarred, I know I am, and however this ends for us I will never be the same person again.
Just another thing , did you tell your son about this forum ? I think it could really help him.
Good luck to you and your son I am thinking of you

Yes, I have told him about this site, but I'm not sure whether he has been on it or not. He says he's OK so long as he doesn't talk about it. The whole thing stirs up so many emotions doesn't it? Fear, humiliation, worry, guilt at being the source of hurt to loved ones, the abhorance of injustice, regret of having got into a position where the problem could come up in the first place and the uncertaintly of the future and future relashionships. I can see it on the photographs , the difference between the happy lad he was and the worried, closed and sad person he's become. What's it all for eh?