Son falsely accused of Rape

[lagnaf81]

Im new here so not sure how ot ask but here goes
I live in mississippi and my son has been accused of Rape by an ex-girlfreind that is 17. They meet up and had sex but he says it was all in agreement. She told the police that she meet with him and went for a walk with him and he ask her for sex but she said she wasnt in mood. She then says he kept saying" come on please" so she gave in and had sex with him. The investigators said this also. She also has sent emails to thier friends saying that "it wasnt rape " saying " he doesnt need jail time just needs the heck scared out of him" I have copies of these as well as the police. She is very mad that he will not get back together with her and i think this is the reason for the false claims. The police have interviewed my son but didnt even get a written statement from him. Now a week later they want him to write one but i had an attorney tell him not to give any more statements or not to take a polygraph. The police have not filed charges but say that it will be going to the grand jury.
Please help with any advice im worried sick we have never had nay issues at all.

[RFLH]

Hi Lagna. I've moved your thread to the part of the forum where it'll get viewed under the right heading.

As you're in America - and they do things differently - I'm not sure we can give much practical advice - but we can provide a listening ear.

From what you have said it does seem that he coerced her into sex, which may go against him.

[Faith]

Hi, welcome to the forum and sorry that you find yourself in this situation.
I am glad you have copies of those emails.

Am I right in thinking that it is the ex who says he co-erced her into sex but in fact the truth is it was consensual?

[Rights Fighter]

From what you have said it does seem that he coerced her into sex, which may go against him.

lagnaf81 said:
She then says he kept saying" come on please" so she gave in and had sex with him.

It doesn't appear that he admits to saying that he coerced her into sex. This has come from the complainant. It may well be true, but then she could be lying about that too.

[Saffron]

Hmm. I don't know about anyone else, but there have been plenty of times when I haven't been "up for it" due to tiredness, headache, general grumpiness, etc....but in the end I have been persuaded otherwise and actually ended up enjoying myself! (and other times when I gave in but was looking at my watch and thinking "please hurry up"). I don't count myself as having been raped though.

[Rights Fighter]

Ahhhhhhhhh Saffron, those were the days when I could be 'persuaded'.

My point though, was that the allegation of coercion appears to have come from the complainant's mouth, not the accused. If he admitted that he 'coerced' her then in law that would be a different matter.

In the world of common sense, of course, even within a marital setting where the wife might feel a bit tired, or not up for it - and he's said along the lines of 'come on hon, let's have a bit of nookie' and attempts to suduce her (as opposed to forcing her) this has now become a crime.

[Saffron]

The death of common sense. You are (as ever!) absolutely right RF.
"oh go on, please" is very different to:
"If you don't have sex with me I will tell everyone that secret you told me/make sure you lose your job/ensure everyone hates you/thinks you're a slag" etc etc...

[RFLH]

have I read it wrong - again?

[Rights Fighter]

You've only just moved so I'll put it down to stress.....and you've not yet found Specsavers......

[Faith]

Saffron you are absolutely right...howver, the law is more black and white than that, which is what makes it such a minefield.

Persuasion is very different from being forced...but anyone can make out to the police/CPS/court that that persuasion was in fact blackmail or threat or force.

Not usually very open about my own sexual relationships but there have been times where myself and my wonderful fiancee haven't been in the mood and the other person has enticed us to 'give in' In fact, men and women lifestyle magazines are full of tips to get the other half into the mood! Technically, that is coercion...

[Saffron]

Couldn't agree more Faith! I was trying to establish the difference between persuasion and coercion.....
There is a HUGE difference between the following:
succumbing to amorous advances because one has been seduced/persuaded
Succumbing to amorous advances because one will do anything for a quiet life/is actually fearful of what will happen if one says "no"

[RFLH]

RF - bog off - picking on the bespectacled as well as being heightist!

[Boys don't cry]

She also has sent emails to thier friends saying that "it wasnt rape " saying " he doesnt need jail time just needs the heck scared out of him" I have copies of these as well as the police. She is very mad that he will not get back together with her and i think this is the reason for the false claims.

This is pure gold,does your son have a solicitor or advocate?
Make sure you never lose these elements.

He has got some powerful evidence against her.

Print them and keep them.

[Faith]

Couldn't agree more Faith! I was trying to establish the difference between persuasion and coercion.....
There is a HUGE difference between the following:
succumbing to amorous advances because one has been seduced/persuaded
Succumbing to amorous advances because one will do anything for a quiet life/is actually fearful of what will happen if one says "no"

Sorry I was actually a little p!ssed when I wrote that reply...glad it made some sense. Or, if youre pretending it made sense to spare my feelings, thank you

[lagnaf81]

She is the one saying that he "talked her into it" he says she was willing from the begining. Thanks for all the advice it actuallys makes me feel better to have you all here.