confused and scared

[Saffron]

Next time you hear hooves, think horses, not zebras. In other words, it's the simplest explanation that is usually the right one.

This is great advice. (and a great analogy, thanks Ivor!)

[diana_holbourn]

This is great advice. (and a great analogy, thanks Ivor!)

It's a good analogy in itself, but in context, what did it relate to?


I liked the rest of his post. Yes Mark, exercise is good for the mental state because it can help calm anxious feelings by giving nervous energy an outlet, and it can boost the mood, unless it's done late in the evening; then all the adrenaline can keep people awake afterwards so they sleep poorly and feel worse the next day. I once heard about a nurse who was in therapy for anxiety, and she had a panic attack during the therapy session. There was a big hill just behind the therapist's office and he suggested they both run up it. He was exhausted when they got to the top, but the nurse felt great. All the feelings that had been making her panic had been turned into energy and were helping her run up the hill fast.


As Ivor said though, warm-up exercises like stretching exercises are best to do before a run, especially if a person's out-of-condition, since they reduce the chance of a pulled muscle. Cooling down exercises afterwards like gentle stretching are kinder on the muscles too, because they mean they don't go abruptly from working hard to staying still.

[Faith]

It's a good analogy in itself, but in context, what did it relate to?


.

I wondered this myself...as often in these cases it's not the most obvious explanation. It's quite common for some of these circumstances to be extraordinary

I do agree with Saffron in that it's quite a nice phrase...not heard it before...

[fascared]

You are not alone. I have good days and bad days - I have to admit, that sometimes I just wish a big black hole would open up and swallow me. However, I cling to the hope that this will blow over. Life still goes on and despite what we are going through, there are still things to enjoy. We all have hidden inner strength - think about what you value, be that kids, hobbies, etc and use that to bring out that inner strength. Of course, there will always be a dark cloud hanging over, but don't let it dominate - if you do, then they have already won.

Thanks Diana, You are a really insightful person and your support is very glady received.

Im not having a good day today, Im supposed to be having the kids for the weekend tomorrow but Im dreading it. I dont know why but I feel like I shouldnt see them. I know they need me and I know I have all these people looking out for me but I dont know how long I can go on feeling like this. Its torture, im falling apart.

People tell me it is selfish to want to die, but isnt it selfish for people to want me to live in this much pain? They will never understand what this has done to me, they arent the ones crying themselves to sleep every night wishing someone would put me out of my misery. As stupid as it sounds I was disspointed my illness wasnt life threatening. I could have gone with my dignity and spared my family any unesessary heart ache. I am having to set myself targets to reach just to stop myself from acting on my thoughts, I tell myself at night "make a decision in the morning" then when it gets to the morning I try not to think and get straight to work. At work I can put my mind on other things but even that is now starting to get difficult. If I could I would donate my life to someone who needed it, someone who deserves it. I feel like there is no place for me here anymore but I cant do anything about it because I have people who need me.

Sometimes I start to feel better and make some plans but they always come crashing down and then im back where I started. Feels like im pissing against the wind in a hurricane. Those people who make it through something like this have my utmost respect. You have to be a strong person to get through it, but im not that person anymore. I dont feel like there is any way back from this and it seems nothing can change my mind. I have no drive left in me, I cant motivate myself to eat let alone to do anything else. I havent been out of my room for 2 week, only to work.

Im not sure where I go from here, I dont know what I want anymore. I know I cant bear this pain for much longer though.

[diana_holbourn]

Mark, if you're still around, how are you doing? What's the latest?

[mark1982]

Hi all, Im still here. Just getting used to this new life. Im feeling better now, been to the doctors and seem to be a lot happier now. I am due to answer my bail tomorrow at 6pm so I will keep you informed. Thanks for the support.

[RFLH]

head high Mark and keep strong.

[Boys don't cry]

Thank you Mark.

I am extremely please that you are still "here".

[mark1982]

Thanks, Im really pleased to tell you all that all charges have been dropped. I even got my phone back. Im now starting to feel in control of my life again/ Its a little daunting knowing where to start but I feel I can at least make a start now. Thank you all for your kind words and support, im not sure if I could have coped without it. I particularly want to thank boysdontcry and Diana. I wouldnt have been here today if it wasnt for you two.

[Boys don't cry]

Take care Mark.

If one day you need to talk,you are more than welcome.

[Boys don't cry]

I'm really pleased to tell you all that all charges have been dropped.

Please Mark,can you tell us how did this happen?
Thanks in advance.

[Saffron]

Great news Mark. Now you can start getting your life back. Be prepared for some pretty strong mood swings though. It will take time to get over the trauma

[Faith]

Wonderful news ..

[mark1982]

Please Mark,can you tell us how did this happen?
Thanks in advance.

My wife retracted her statement. Been a bit of a mad time since then, trying to get used to living at my mums. I have since met up with my wife and things are going really well. We have done some serious talking and have gone back to dating. Things are the best they have been between us in a long while, funny how something good can come of such a horrible situation.

[RFLH]

I wish you the best of luck.