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Ok so I have started looking for cracks in her story and motive. Any suggestions on what I should be looking for? I have a few good points but not sure it is a good idea to post them on here. Trying to go down the positive route.
No you don't have to write everything here.
Just keep these information for you but think and write.
If you need to talk to the police get a solicitor and talk to him first.
The less information they will have the stronger your defense will be.
Always keep notes about facts that comes to your mind
Now everything is fresh for you so it is the best moment to write the important things which will be the roots of your defence.
Then the rest will come with time.
Why did she do this to you?
To get her own life with the children,so without being specific did you do something wrong to her?
Why are you accused as well of assault?
I hope that you didn't tell the police that you thought she was sobbing,or crying or something negative against you?
Take care.
No I told the police i didnt see her crying (the truth). She had her face in the pillow and the noises she was making didnt sound like her crying to me. In fact I cant actually remember the last time I saw her cry. Even through all of this she has yet to shed a single tear in front of me. She has been very switched off emotionally for at least a year.
The assualt charge I am not worried about. All I did was hug her and try to get her to stay, I was genuinely worried for her safety and did not want her leave with cut wrists. She was a self harmer when I met her and had stopped for 4 years previously. It was a hard thing to get her to stop doing, naturally I was worried for her. As soon as she struggled to go I let her go and asked her sister to go look after her. Unfortunatley she stayed to make sure I was ok and my wife ran off.
You said you love her and I believe you do but you wanted to spend some time alone (or away) and she wanted to get on with her life and the children.
I don't want to know what was wrong in your marriage but unfortunately...
It might be better for all of you.
Why would your wife want to make love with you if she wanted some "peace"?
If your marriage was stable or if she was happy she wouldn't cut her wrists.
Before you had sex and she was laying on her tummy,did she kiss you,did she caress you?
What make you believe that she was consenting?
We had been trying really hard to make things work, she kissed me, we cuddled and for the first time in a long while I felt like she loved me again. I was nothing but loving to her, stroking her hair kissing her neck etc. At no point did I hold her down or lay on top of her, like I said she could have just got up and walked off. Once she had accused me of the rape - later that day I was devastated. I wrote her a heartfelt letter and she said she understood that rape wasnt my intention. We agreed to take things back to the beginning and start again. I had made a long list of stuff she like and dislikes, things she wanted to do in life and places she wanted to go. I was working my way through that list before this situation happened. I had told her I was struggling with the relationship and I needed a few days away (as previously suggested by her) to get my **** together. She thought I was ending it and thats where she cut her wrists. Im pretty sure when the police found her in the morning they must have pushed her to make the allegation or she resented me for leaving. The last thing she told me before she left was that she had started to love me again, now its all I hear. If only she could have told me that before I wouldnt be in this situation.
Finally some good news, Im allowed to see my children. First time ive been happy for the last week. Now trying to sort out a meeting with them. Its made my day.
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..
Well, that didnt go well, child services are happy for me to see the kids un supervised, the Police it seems are not. Still not seen my kids yet. Went to the doctors yesterday, told him the story, told him how I tried to kill myself and that I still think about it all the time, explained im still not eating and I have severe chest pain, to the point it takes my breath away. he sent me away with a prescription for a damn antacid and told me to come back in 2 weeks if im not any better. So now I have lost my faith in the police and the NHS. I went to the doctor because I feel I need help, seems both the NHS and the police are not interested in helping anyone. Im rapidly running out of ways to convince myself its worth fighting, if someone told me I was going to die tomorrow I dont think id be particularly upset. This is the worst I have felt in my life, I can only liken it to constant torture.
Well, that didnt go well, child services are happy for me to see the kids un supervised, the Police it seems are not. ................told him the story, told him how I tried to kill myself and that I still think about it all the time, ............
This wold be why the police are not happy for you to see your children (especially if you wanted to see them on your own).
How often do we read or see in the media where a mother or father has murdered their own children and then taken their own life? This may not be your intention but they are not going to want to take that risk, are they?
This wold be why the police are not happy for you to see your children (especially if you wanted to see them on your own).
How often do we read or see in the media where a mother or father has murdered their own children and then taken their own life? This may not be your intention but they are not going to want to take that risk, are they?
Aparantly this is due to my bail conditions, I am not allowed to see the children to prevent the obstruction of justice. Now child services are happy I am capable of looking after my children, and have said I should have no charges to answer to regarding child neglect. After talking to the police it seems they are not happy about it and only when this bail condition is lifted can I see my children properly. I have explained to the police what Child services have said and they said I am still facing charges for child neglect and that is the end of it.
Bail conditions are usually posted for good reason. Maybe one reason in your case is that you have said you intend to kill yourself so they cannot risk you being with the children.
Bail conditions are usually posted for good reason. Maybe one reason in your case is that you have said you intend to kill yourself so they cannot risk you being with the children.
No thats not it, I dont intend on killing myself, it doesnt stop me wanting to end it all but I have no intention of following it through. Only person I have told this is the doctor. The police do not want me talking to the kids unsupervised in case I try and ask them to lie for me etc. When i put it to them that child services have recomended NFA on the child neglect charges they have stated that thos conditions apply until I answer bail. Surely if there is nothing to charge me with (on the child neglect side of things) then I am innocent and should be allowed to see my kids. It all feels like they are trying to break me and I have to say they are doing a good job.
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