Partner accused by controlling and bitter ex

[Hopeful]

Hi there

I am writing as my partner of 15 months has been falsely accused of rape by his ex-wife who left him in 2009. He is just awaiting the first Hearing at the Magistrates Court. This woman is very bitter and nasty and has done everything in her power to hurt him since even before she left him.

My partner is a wonderful partner, and a fantastic father to two children. We have one on the way too who is due in around 9 weeks (although I am thinking sooner after all this stress). One of his children is with her, she is 8 years old. When she left him, she told him they should have 50/50 care of their daughter, however, since she found out he was happy and moving on, she has attempted to get custody of their daughter. She lost that 7 month battle in January 2012, and one week later, my partner was arrested and accused of rape.

My partner has been suffering greatly with anxiety and his emotions have been all over the place. When she was in the relationship with him she constantly belittled him and ground him down to the point of him being on anti-depressants (which he came off last June) and when she left him she invited him around for tea on a regular basis etc. but as time has gone on and she has lost control over him she has just become more and more nasty.

This website is fantastic and has helped me greatly, and I have read some sections out to him too as we are both in the dark with all this. I am hoping we will start to feel more positive after the Magistrates Hearing next week when we know more about what she has said exactly.

I feel for everyone and their families going through this. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you

[Faith]

Hi Hopeful, thanks for having the courage to post...sorry that you have had to find us but we will try to help you both through this as best we can.

His ex wife sounds like a nasty piece of work...her motive for the allegation is clear based on the time scale you've described. The fact that she raised the allegation a week after losing the custody battle is very telling.

Unfortunately, this will be a very long road but your partner will gain strength from the fact you are standing by him. Make sure you look after yourself too, especially with a baby on the way. Have you both spoken to your GP for additional support through this?

What your partner needs is a specialist solicitor. Are you happy with the solicitor you have? They must be experienced in dealing with allegations of a sexual nature. If you like, post up your county (nothing more detailed) and someone may be able to advise a known solicitor with a good reputation.

Have you read the sticky thread: What to do now you've been falsely accused?

Keep coming back for support and ask questions...that's what the place is here for. Look after yourself and bump!

[Boys don't cry]

Hopeful.

I thought my ex wife was the only nasty one but obviously not.
Anyway she must be the Queen of them.

The first hearing will be really quick as you must be aware.
Your partner will have just to tell his name and if I remember to plead "not guilty"

One positive point is that she claimed for rape just after she lost the custody,you must concentrate on the fact that it was a pure revenge.
The fact that he was on anti-depressant is aslo another point but he must be able to prove that she was the reason of his medication.


Look after yourself,your partner must fight (his innocence) for your baby.
Best of luck to you three.

[Hopeful]

Thank you both of you. My partner went to the GP last week after he was charged and he has been prescribed with Beta Blockers and he has been referred for counselling. He also mentioned me to the GP and they just said I should watch out for any unusual pains and if I need to go and speak to them I should, but I am trying to fight by his side without a GP for now.

We are in the UK, our Solicitor seems to be okay, they were recommended by the Solicitor that he used for his Divorce, and we found a very good Barrister on the internet so we told our Solicitor last week that we would like to request him and our Solicitor said it is a very good choice and they will make sure we get him, so hopefully that should help.

Thank you for the advice on the evidence we should be gathering too... I have started getting lots together (since I have been with him I have kept a log of her erratic mood swings and strange behaviour and I have dated them) and when he is feeling up to it, I will sit down with my partner and go through them and add to them. I will keep coming on here and keep you posted as well as keep an eye out for any further support and advice.

Thank you again. x

[Boys don't cry]

Hopeful.

Remember you are pregnant and from a few lines you really love him.

He must concentrate on his problems first and you look after yourself and the baby.
I am not selfish,I am a man.

You can help him but he must help himself first,he knows exactly what happened during years,so it is up to him.

I feel for him and would be concerned about being a father soon,but I swear for his children and for you he should be able to be "Hercules".

In two words:Keep strong!

[lawlessone2009]

She lost that 7 month battle in January 2012, and one week later, my partner was arrested and accused of rape.

You two plus bump need to relax and realise that you are all in a very very strong position. Unless the rape happened within the week after his ex losing her custody battle then, in my opinion, this 'case' will be thrown into the long grass.

Your legal team would tear shreds out of the lady in court. If she was genuinely raped then she has picked an absolutely terrible time to report it! I have merely read your postings and I have already decided that your husband is innocent. Think what a properly informed and led jury would find. Not Guilty.

The prosecution will know this also and if they don't then it sure should be pointed out to them.

I would actually hope that the case against your man drags on a little and his ex eventually admits to fabricating the story so that she can spend some time in jail. She is doing a massive injustice to genuine rape victims and should be ashamed of herself.

Sorry to be so brazen with my posting but I genuinely believe that you two plus bump have nothing to worry about short of an earthquake hitting the UK.

Welcome to the forum. As your case develops, if it does, we will all be here to support and comfort you.

[Faith]

Nobody can make that guarantee. There are people on this forum who have been told the same. It hasn't turned out that way from them all.

No place for complacency

[fighter]

We are in the UK, our Solicitor seems to be okay, they were recommended by the Solicitor that he used for his Divorce, and we found a very good Barrister on the internet so we told our Solicitor last week that we would like to request him and our Solicitor said it is a very good choice and they will make sure we get him, so hopefully that should help.
x[/QUOTE]

Hi Hopeful,

Welcome to the forum. Good you are here at the early stage of this process. I was just curious, how did you know he was a very good barrister especially when you found him in the internet? Is he a specialist? Does your solicitor know this barrister personally? Not to worry you but just be aware that there are people out there who claimed to be a specialist in false allegations and they are not. I think you would come across this in the thread if you read more.

And yes I agree with everybody, take care of yourself and your baby!

[lawlessone2009]

Nobody can make that guarantee. There are people on this forum who have been told the same. It hasn't turned out that way from them all.

No place for complacency

I know, I know... Sorry.

Keep positive though, Hopeful, and make sure and get your man to run after you over the next few weeks if he's not already doing so, last thing you need is any harm coming to your precious bump.

[Faith]

Yes Hopeful, don't get me wrong, do stay positive. From what you've said, you have a good case.
But none of us can give a full assurance that the right result will come.

[Faith]

We are in the UK, our Solicitor seems to be okay, they were recommended by the Solicitor that he used for his Divorce, and we found a very good Barrister on the internet so we told our Solicitor last week that we would like to request him and our Solicitor said it is a very good choice and they will make sure we get him, so hopefully that should help.
x

Hi Hopeful,

Welcome to the forum. Good you are here at the early stage of this process. I was just curious, how did you know he was a very good barrister especially when you found him in the internet? Is he a specialist? Does your solicitor know this barrister personally? Not to worry you but just be aware that there are people out there who claimed to be a specialist in false allegations and they are not. I think you would come across this in the thread if you read more.

And yes I agree with everybody, take care of yourself and your baby![/QUOTE]

Excellent point Fighter...

[Caillycakes]

Hopeful,
I have only just stumbled across this site and the forums and I think you will gain a great deal of strength and support throughout the proceedings from the members on here and the posts already live.

As an experienced Barrister I have to echo the thoughts contained below

was just curious, how did you know he was a very good barrister especially when you found him in the internet? Is he a specialist? Does your solicitor know this barrister personally? Not to worry you but just be aware that there are people out there who claimed to be a specialist in false allegations and they are not.

The whole process will be a long one and you need to have confidence not just in Counsel but in your legal team as a whole. Once you have met and spoken with the Barrister you (partner) will no doubt be in a better position to know how comfortable you are with him/her. And don't be afraid to ask about their experience.

Good luck

[Faith]

Hi Cailleycakes, welcome to the forum

You're an experienced barrister? Is it criminal law you specialise in?

[Caillycakes]

Hi Cailleycakes, welcome to the forum

You're an experienced barrister? Is it criminal law you specialise in?

Hi Faith,
Thanks for the welcome.
Predominantly yes. Specialisms in Crime (all areas) and Road Traffic. Although I have recently resurrected my civil practice to help pay the bills!

Really like the site. Interesting comments and discussions

[Faith]

Very nice to have you join us, we have very vulnerable members who come onto the forum for support, so I am sure they will appreciate any support and advice you can give.

Sorry, Hopeful, I've derailed your thread!