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Hello all
I am currently in a very dark place and feel so low and defeated right now.
I am a married father of 6 and stepdad to 1. Earlier this year I was arrested and questioned about an alleged series of rapes and abuses that were said to have happened during 1999-2000. The so called victims were at this time 9 and 11 years old. I was initially bailed for 9 weeks and earlier this week rebailed for a further 4 months. All my computer equiptment, mobile phones etc were seized.
During interview I had the duty solicitor and answered all questions honestly and to the best of my ability. When I was initially arrested I wasn't told who was making the allegations and still didn't know during the 6 hour stint in the cells before interview. All I could think was that it must be a case of mistaken identity and everything would be ok. However when I was interviewed and told who was making these allegations I was gob smacked. I can't go into too much detail for obvious reasons, but I didn't even know these girls in 1999 and didn't meet them untill 2002! This all came out in interview, and even their own statements through things they have said proove I couldn't have known them when they alledge these rapes took place, and at the time I didn't even live in the house where they claim these nasty things took place. Due to this I was confident that common sense would prevail and I would be NFA'd when I answered my bail. However I wasn't and instead was rebailed untill December!! I am really scared right now and have been googling for the past few days and came across this wonderful site.
However after reading some of the stories on here, I have now convinced myself I will be charged and sent to prison for a very long time. I have read on many a thread that those accused should hold cards close to their chest and not reveal certain things to the police, as they have a habbit of "moving the goal posts" This has really scared me because in the girls statements they have said things that wouldn't hold water if they stuck to the original dates, but now I'm scared the police will tell them what I have said and they will change their stories to fit my answers!!
There are also other lies which I can proove are lies relating to things that I was supposed to have said and done on facebook, but can proove I didn't. They even described me to the police using my profile picture from facebook and said at the time they knew me I had certain identifying marks, which I can proove I didn't get until after all contact with these people was lost and I had moved away from the area.
Anyway suffice to say that this is ruining my familys lives. Fortunately I now have a wonderful wife and she supports and stands by me 100%. She is fully aware of all the allegations as are the dreaded SS who have already been poking their noses in! To be honest I don't know which will be worse a long prison sentance or being excluded from my childrens lives if charged. We are a very close family and in the 7 years my and my wife have been together we haven't argued once and are the best of freinds and true soul mates! The fact that this is tearing her apart is killing me.
Over the past few weeks I have hardly slept and have kind of accepted the fact that my life as I once knew it is over and have lost all will to fight. You see this is just the last in a long line of tragedies that I/we have had to face, starting with me having to bury 2 of my children within 18 months of each other in the mid nineties. My then partner having a massive breakdown, going to the shop one day and dissapearing for 2 years leaving me to bring up 2 young children on my own. Then turning up out of the blue getting custody and moving miles away with the kids I had struggled to bring up on my own and had such a strong bond with. I then met my current wife and thought that my life had turned a corner and finally I could be happy. But then 2 of our children were born seriously ill with life threatening genetic disorders which required bone marrow transplants. The youngest son had his transplant in 2008 when he was just 13 months old, but suffered horrendously after it. A team of doctors literally had to battle for days on end to keep him alive and we were told that he wasn't going to make it on more than one occasion.Then My eldest son had his first BMT in February last year which saw him suffer badly also, and all for nothing as that transplant failed. He then had a second transplant in August which also went horribly wrong and caused a massive brain bleed and blood clot, which required emergency surgery and has left him paralised on one side and unable to walk think or speak properly. And now this!! When will it all end? I genuinely believe that I am somehow cursed. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I am so worried about what will happen to my family if I am sent to prison! How will my wife cope with all the stresses and strains of raising disabled children alone? How will people treat my children if I am branded "A child rapist" Will all my wifes freinds who are a great support to her abandon her if I am charged? It just dosen't bare thinking about, but think about it I do!! Constantly!!
I am a very hands on dedicated father and love my kids to the moon and back, and would never do the things I have been accused of to any child, woman or beast. Why do people make these accusations? what is in it for them? They are both adults now and must surely know the impact this will have on my family..... I really do feel defeated right now. I even phoned my solictor to ask what to do about certain bits of evidence I had uncovered and they haven;'t bothered ringing back. Maybe they have given up on me too!
Sorry about the long winded post, just needed to get it all of my chest!
I am currently in a very dark place and feel so low and defeated right now.
I am a married father of 6 and stepdad to 1. Earlier this year I was arrested and questioned about an alleged series of rapes and abuses that were said to have happened during 1999-2000. The so called victims were at this time 9 and 11 years old. I was initially bailed for 9 weeks and earlier this week rebailed for a further 4 months. All my computer equiptment, mobile phones etc were seized.
During interview I had the duty solicitor and answered all questions honestly and to the best of my ability. When I was initially arrested I wasn't told who was making the allegations and still didn't know during the 6 hour stint in the cells before interview. All I could think was that it must be a case of mistaken identity and everything would be ok. However when I was interviewed and told who was making these allegations I was gob smacked. I can't go into too much detail for obvious reasons, but I didn't even know these girls in 1999 and didn't meet them untill 2002! This all came out in interview, and even their own statements through things they have said proove I couldn't have known them when they alledge these rapes took place, and at the time I didn't even live in the house where they claim these nasty things took place. Due to this I was confident that common sense would prevail and I would be NFA'd when I answered my bail. However I wasn't and instead was rebailed untill December!! I am really scared right now and have been googling for the past few days and came across this wonderful site.
However after reading some of the stories on here, I have now convinced myself I will be charged and sent to prison for a very long time. I have read on many a thread that those accused should hold cards close to their chest and not reveal certain things to the police, as they have a habbit of "moving the goal posts" This has really scared me because in the girls statements they have said things that wouldn't hold water if they stuck to the original dates, but now I'm scared the police will tell them what I have said and they will change their stories to fit my answers!!
There are also other lies which I can proove are lies relating to things that I was supposed to have said and done on facebook, but can proove I didn't. They even described me to the police using my profile picture from facebook and said at the time they knew me I had certain identifying marks, which I can proove I didn't get until after all contact with these people was lost and I had moved away from the area.
Anyway suffice to say that this is ruining my familys lives. Fortunately I now have a wonderful wife and she supports and stands by me 100%. She is fully aware of all the allegations as are the dreaded SS who have already been poking their noses in! To be honest I don't know which will be worse a long prison sentance or being excluded from my childrens lives if charged. We are a very close family and in the 7 years my and my wife have been together we haven't argued once and are the best of freinds and true soul mates! The fact that this is tearing her apart is killing me.
Over the past few weeks I have hardly slept and have kind of accepted the fact that my life as I once knew it is over and have lost all will to fight. You see this is just the last in a long line of tragedies that I/we have had to face, starting with me having to bury 2 of my children within 18 months of each other in the mid nineties. My then partner having a massive breakdown, going to the shop one day and dissapearing for 2 years leaving me to bring up 2 young children on my own. Then turning up out of the blue getting custody and moving miles away with the kids I had struggled to bring up on my own and had such a strong bond with. I then met my current wife and thought that my life had turned a corner and finally I could be happy. But then 2 of our children were born seriously ill with life threatening genetic disorders which required bone marrow transplants. The youngest son had his transplant in 2008 when he was just 13 months old, but suffered horrendously after it. A team of doctors literally had to battle for days on end to keep him alive and we were told that he wasn't going to make it on more than one occasion.Then My eldest son had his first BMT in February last year which saw him suffer badly also, and all for nothing as that transplant failed. He then had a second transplant in August which also went horribly wrong and caused a massive brain bleed and blood clot, which required emergency surgery and has left him paralised on one side and unable to walk think or speak properly. And now this!! When will it all end? I genuinely believe that I am somehow cursed. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and never wake up again. I am so worried about what will happen to my family if I am sent to prison! How will my wife cope with all the stresses and strains of raising disabled children alone? How will people treat my children if I am branded "A child rapist" Will all my wifes freinds who are a great support to her abandon her if I am charged? It just dosen't bare thinking about, but think about it I do!! Constantly!!
I am a very hands on dedicated father and love my kids to the moon and back, and would never do the things I have been accused of to any child, woman or beast. Why do people make these accusations? what is in it for them? They are both adults now and must surely know the impact this will have on my family..... I really do feel defeated right now. I even phoned my solictor to ask what to do about certain bits of evidence I had uncovered and they haven;'t bothered ringing back. Maybe they have given up on me too!
Sorry about the long winded post, just needed to get it all of my chest!
So I will be looking for a better solicitor should I be charged. Better still if RF can recommend one to me in my area, I'd be very grateful! (I can PM the details)
xxx
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