Wife accusing me of rape

[spike]

I would like to say a massive thank you. I didn't feel quite as alone when other people had been through similar and worse situations then me. If I can ever be of any help to anyone just let me know. My family law solicitor was brilliant for anyone around Newcastle upon Tyne.

[Faith]

Could you post up the details of the Family Law solicitor here? I know someone in newcastle who has some issues in Family Court and might give them a call.

Alternatively, you can send me a PM when you are upgraded to a Full Member

[spike]

My solicitor is Helen Holmes. She works at Gordon Brown Law Firm. They have offices in the city centre and Chester-le-Street. Phone number 0191 389 5103.

[Orpheus]

In the Same Boat

Spike,
I read this thread and had to respond. The exact same thing happened to me in my marriage of ten years. One day my wife was telling me how she was going to thrill me with great sex, and the next she told our counselor that she thought I was coersively raping her throughout our marriage. She moved out of our bedroom and into the living room, I gave her all the space she needed and as soon as she got her college degree and a good job, which was a month later, she moved out to my bewilderment. She then took the kids from me and filed a restraining order against me gaining her custody of the children. My wife was very passionate and experimental throughout our marriage and because of childhood abuse by a brother of hers, we always took it slow and careful in this area. Two years ago we had an unplanned pregnancy which resulted in late abortion and I wanted the child. We have raised two boys ages 7 and 9 and they are wonderful kids, but she insisted. After this she just snapped and things started going down hill from there. She went on to tell the judge at the hearing that I had physically forced myself on her and that never happened. It is so hard being labeled with the word rape. I have found through this that all you can do is stand up for the truth and stand firm in front of your accuser weather it be your wife, her friends, or her lawyer and have compassion for your children and your wife for what she has resorted to for whatever end. The fact is that this happens in relationships all the time and a Restraining Order is the easiest way your wife can take everything from you without a fair hearing immediately, and sets a precedent of guilt. This has been the most horrifying thing I have ever been through and on top of not seeing my boys as much as I would like, I have lost the love of my life. My heart goes out to you, and if it weren't for my faith and my children, I would not be here today. Stay strong, seek out a your support base and redefine who you are, not how others label you. In my case, I believe that she has projected her previous abuse onto our sex life and what was passionate and loving for me, this polarized by an abortion, was something very different for her. I can only hope she heals and hope she remembers the true love I gave her. So in my case, it was a combination of an easy way to get the children, and and easy way to empower herself to hold someone responsible for her abuse and to blame me for the chosen abortion.
If yo want to talk further about this email me
I wish you well Spike!

Thanks for posting and sharing your experience....From reading your post, I am assuming you have been to court and "come out the other side"? If not - sorry I have made that assumption and perhaps you'd like to start your own thread on the Introduce yourself section and then we can give you any support you need?

I have removed your email address from your post as this is an open forum and anyone can gain access without logging in or being a member, including plod and CPS memebres. When you are a full member you can PM which is secure. Also spike has not been on here for quite some time and like as not no longer logs in.

Hoping this is ok and wishing you well - Myhome

[spike]

Thanks

Hi Orpheus,

Thanks for your message. I'm in a much better place than I was. Mostly down to the support of family and friends, (mine and my ex's).
She still treats me like I might attack her but I now have the children 3 nights a week and half of all holidays.
Yes, I still have times when I am depressed and cross about what happened but now I mostly pity my ex. She has thrown most of what was good in her life away.
I guess I have accepted what has happened and know there is nothing that I, or anyone else, can do about it.
It could have been much worse, I have to try to remember the positive and ignore the ****.