Wife accusing me of rape

[spike]

Fantastic. Thanks. How do I get in touch with Gill Rutherford?

[Faith]

http://www.andrewsangel.co.uk/pages/contactus.html

[spike]

How will that work with my solicitor in Newcastle?

[lawlessone2009]

Might be out there with the sheep but I thought I would ask..........

Have you been long term unemployed or recently become unemployed?

[spike]

No, I am full time employed but been signed off sick for the last three weeks.

[Faith]

You havent been arrested/charged or anything yet. Just give her a call and have a chat...there will be no obligation to use her, she won't charge for that initial call.

[spike]

I will give her a ring tomorrow. Thanks again. At the moment it just feels like I am waiting for the next nightmare to come along. I just want to be doing something to prove my innocence and if need be help my wife.

[lawlessone2009]

Remember that the burden is on the accuser/prosecutor to prove your guilt. You don't have to prove anything although at times it feels as if this is the only answer.


The only reason I asked about work is that it's not unheard off for a partner to kick the other one out if they feel that they are not pulling their weight/providing what is expected. Unemployment generally leads to big problems but since you're employed then this shouldn't be a reason.

You're in quite a position. I would most certainly contact the recommended solicitor. They will best advise on the correct route forward.

I would imagine that claims of the nature that you have mentioned would need to be 'founded' (ie court ruling) before they would be useful as part of an ongoing dispute but then the family courts are a law unto themselves!!!

I am not sure if I would sit back and let things run their course... It may be that your solicitor is supposing that some kind of illness is affecting your wife and that with time she will sort herself out hence the lack of action. The allegations as you have put them are of a very serious nature and do need to be resolved. Sitting back and hoping for the best is in nobodies interests. If your wife doesn't realise the seriousness of the allegations she has made against you and simply withdraws them on a whim then what's to stop her making more serious ones in the future and maybe being vindictive enough to gather some form of twisted evidence to substantiate them?

You need to have this nipped in the butt just now. She needs to either present a case or withdraw the accusations in their entirety. Any withdrawal, and the reasons for it, needs to be fully documented.

Unfortunately for you I would surmise that your marriage is now over. You cannot possibly risk having a further relationship with your wife as you are exposing yourself to extreme danger. Not only could you end up in jail but you may find yourself victim to other types of retaliation even though you've done nothing. The trust has been breached in a grave manner and I really do not believe that it is in your best interests to attempt to rebuild it.

You need to ensure that you can continue to see your children. This is a part of the situation which needs to be amicably resolved as there really is no reason that they should suffer due to your partners accusations. Your wife is destroying their innocence and opening them up to state interference. I wouldn't wish social workers and family courts on anyone but the most obviously guilty and PROVEN guilty (in a proper court!).

Welcome to the forum and sorry that you are having such a horrendous time. If you are off work due to this then it could be worth considering going back. Work takes the mind of things although it may not seem that way. Days are quicker when they are productive.

I would thoroughly recommend that you read all of the relevant 'stickies' and ensure that you prepare yourself for every eventuality. The recommendation for legal representation should be explored immediately and ensure that you have a direct out of hours contact number for whoever you decide to use as the Police can turn up at any moment and begin their process of arrest and questioning. You need to know what to say and you also need to have a solicitor in place and present during questioning.

If you have access to computers or other storage devices (mobile phones etc) and believe that they may hold evidence to strengthen your position then I would have these backed up on a removable media (CD/DVD) and stored with a relative/trusted friend. Anything you believe may assist you in building a defence later on, should you need too, should be stored outwith access by the Police. I am sorry to go on in such a negative manner but you need to start defending your position before it is viciously assaulted by the Police and any aces you may have access too are taken away to be discarded in the 'unused evidence' pile.

It may never happen but you've had a heads up of your wifes intentions so act now to save excessive hurt later. She's given you to opportunity after all, not many get it!

[Boys don't cry]

Perfect post Lawlessone!

[spike]

Phoned Gill Rutherford this morning. She deals with rape prosecutions. Mine hasn't gone that far yet! She has heard of my solicitor and believes she is good. So I will stick with her unless things change.

[spike]

Just found out that my wife went to the police, about a month ago now,but even they have not taken her seriously. Certainly no action has been taken against me. Had the family hearing yesterday. The judge basically told my wife and solicitor to stop being stupid. Non-mol order dropped and full unsupervised access to the kids. A great result for me. I still think my wife has mental health issues but don't think anyone is doing anything about it.

[Faith]

Oh that's brilliant news, must be a relief.

The police must seriously not have believed her to have not even investigated.

[RFLH]

that's a good result Spike. I'm pleased that they saw through the rubbish and you can see your children again without anyone sticking their conks in!

[Boys don't cry]

Glad to hear this Spike.
Go back to work and enjoy your children and life.

[Saffron]

Happy to hear this news, Spike