Wife accusing me of rape

[spike]

Hi, I am in a state of shock. Three weeks ago my wife announced that she thought that I had been raping her for 21 years. Within 7 days she had a court order of non molestation and she also alleged that I could kill or abduct our two kids and I might rape my 12 year old. Until that day we had a fantastic relationship. She has not contacted the police. But the court orders are such that I can not see or speak to my wife. I can now speak to the kids on the phone. None of the allegations are true. I think she has had a breakdown but can't do anything. Has anyone heard of anything like this before? I do have a solicitor.

[Faith]

From your brief account, it could be deduced that for whatever reason your wife wants suddenly out of the relationship and wants custody of the children. In an admittedly twisted frame of mind she has decided that the best way of guaranteeing success in this is by painting you as some kind of monster.

What does the solicitor say. Are they experienced enough to deal with what would be considered a fairly extreme case.
Be prepared that if she raises specific allegations of rape against you in family court then these may be passed on to the police

[spike]

My solicitor seems good but it is hard to tell. I have no idea what to look for. She is a family law solicitor. She is telling me to comply with the court orders and just bide my time. It is really hard to do nothing when I think my wife needs help although the kids seem ok.

[Faith]

Bide your time for what? I'm not really very up on family court, hopefully someone else may have some experience and come along shortly.

Is there some sort of hearing where you can defend yourself against this? Or is there any kind of investigation going on via the police/social services.

Must be very difficult for your kids. This is deeply irresponsible of your wife to put them through this when you have done nothing wrong.

What do you mean by 'she thinks I have been raping her for 21 years'

[spike]

In about a month I will be able to have a full hearing with witnesses etc...
At the moment my wife truly believes what she is saying. Some of her friends are supporting me and are almost as shocked as I am.

[Faith]

She truly believes it? How do you know this?

[Casehardened]

Obviously you are no longer living under the same roof: is it yourself or your wife who has moved out of the marital home?....this might give a clue as to her motive

[spike]

Initially she moved out to a friend. I then moved out to be with my familyowns to let her and the kids have the family home. I know she believes it because her friends have challenged what she is saying and she is vehement that it is true. Her friends are then letting me know because they know that before three weeks ago she was happy and loved me.

[Faith]

Even if she knows it not to be true, she would keep up the pretence.

It sounds awfully like she wants the home and the kids and has sought a way to get you out of their lives.
I'm not ruling out that she genuinely believes it but if that were the case then you need to examine WHY she would genuinely believe it. Did you display any behaviour that might point her to that belief? Or is she suffering from mental health related issues that is causing her to believe it?

Obviously, you are best placed to gauge this...but you may not be able to know for sure what is going on. At least not yet.

[spike]

My libido has always been higher than hers but I never forced her to do anything. She has been under loads of stress with work and a family illness.

[Boys don't cry]

Faith you should be my mentor,You are trully my favourite

Hello Spike and sorry about this but welcome to the Club.
In brief,I have been falsely accused of rape be my wife (11 years wasted).
Divorce procedures,charged of rape,...
Crown court,not guilty.
Non molestation order.I haven't got the right to go 100m near the house
Divorce going on,Cafcass,County court,...
You wrote "to let her and the kids have the family home"
That's it look no further.
Or if it is exactly like my case...If you are lucky enough she hasn't met anyone else but she just want you out(sorry to say this).
I feel sorry for your children first,but she doesn't care.
She just want you to be blamed and get a more important share of the house.
So first you must concentrate on the most important:The rape.
Find a solicitor ASAP,write everything you remember and especially why do you think she did this?, find some evidence.
Who did she go with?,you are talking about a friend(male or female?)
Do you think there could be someone else?
Why would you rape her during 21 years???
Is there money involved???

PM me if you want,you are more than welcome.
(I have been quite harsh but it reminds too much of my situation).

[Faith]

Thanks for your kind words Boys Don't Cry
Your advice to find a solicitor is spot on...the OP mentions that they have a family law solicitor but I am wondering if they maybe need a conversation with one specialising in allegations of sexual crimes.

Spike post up your county (nothing more specific) and someone may be able to reccommend a solicitor.

BDC, Spike won't be able to PM you until he is upgraded to Full Member...I think it's 5 days but someone might correct me on that...

[Boys don't cry]

I do have a family solicitor as well as only one week after the false allegation I received a divorce procedure.
Because I was on bail,I had no belongings at all (especially documents regarding my finances,...).
So I let her wait and told a few timess that my life was in "jeopardy" so I couldn't answer to any of the questions regarding the divorce.
For ex: Do you think that there will be any changes regarding your situation?
Sometimes I was laughing nervously;Come on,open your eyes!!!
I couldn't know until I would be INNOCENT or guilty.

Your main priority Spike is the "rape",always claim your innocence.
Find some evidence that you will use first against the rape accusation and then you will be able to use them in County court to prove that she is lying: (I am at the moment).
Even my Solicitor told the family Court that the jury and the Crown court didn't believe her for the most important case,(so the rest should flow).
Some Solicitor firms deal with both criminal and family law so if you can contact one of them they should help you more efficiently.There won't be any communication problems between solicitors as they work for the same company.
Once again your main priority is to fight against the "rape".

[spike]

I should be able to defend the rape allegation. Everyone who knows us knows we have had a brilliant relationship and we have both been very happy. I am sure that even her family Will confirm that. I live in Tyne and Wear.

[Faith]

I live in Tyne and Wear too Spike. I will get in contact

Contact Gill Rutherford (Durham), she's very good with these kinds of cases