Please help !!! Fiancee falsely accused of historic rape

[Rights Fighter]

Mia, I have sent you a private message. Please check your inbox.

[mia]

Well this week has been a blur, cant believe that in 5 days my Fiancee attends court ,then this nightmare truely begins !!!! Trying so hard to keep some kind of normality at home,but he's hardly talking or sleeping,and as for me? well i'm walking around like i'm in some kind of daze....Im trying to source a new job, as im being made redundent on 1st May,and that is worrying me.

Why is it i feel so guilty for thinking about everyday things like jobs and finances? I feel so selfish...

Keep having dreams about press, and we havent even been to court yet....I wish this was a dream.......reading through other threads,upsets me, as i can feel their pain too....hope isnt something i have at the moment.....

[RFLH]

mia - breathe!

One day at a time, until Monday try and do something nice, be it a walk or watch a dvd every day. Ban talk of 'what if' and cope from day to day.

If you were selfish - you wouldn't be there!

Come here and rant, get support and you will get through each day - you will surprise yourself at how strong you really are.

[Faith]

Mia, these situations don't make normal worries like employment and finances go away. if anything, they make them worse as it is more cr@p on top of it. Don't feel bad for having these worries.
Stay strong. x

[mia]

Mia, these situations don't make normal worries like employment and finances go away. if anything, they make them worse as it is more cr@p on top of it. Don't feel bad for having these worries.
Stay strong. x

Thanks Faith, everything i say or do lately i feel guilty or selfish about !!! I take on board what your saying,and hopefully in time i wont feel like this.x

Thank god i found this forum,with such lovely supportive people....I find myself logging in when im at my lowest,and when i need to say how im feeling, away from the family and my poor fiancee, its hard talking to him at the moment. I find myself having to think before i speak, so as not to make him feel any worse than hes feeling at the moment.... He's trying to be strong too,but i hear him wandering around the house unable to sleep,its heart breaking !!!! The 3 kids ( 25, 20. and 17yrs) have been brilliant, and are insisting that they attend court and give statements etc in my fiancee's defense (non of whom are his biological children) and even though as a mother i want to protect them from this nightmare, at the same time i am so proud of them all..they see my fiancee as their dad, as he has been in their life since my youngest was 5yrs old....

The feeling of dread is getting worse, waiting for Tuesday to come, when my fiancee will get a date for crown court....I'm going to try and distract us from this hell over the weekend,but i don't hold out much hope of that !!!!

[RFLH]

distraction is the best thing - go and and do something, a walk or even a daft picnic where you can watch the rain pelt down - it will help.

You must be so proud of your children - you are a wonderful family unit.

[Faith]

I agree. And your children are all at ages where they can decide for themselves if they want to support your fiance. So, don't worry, let them do it. They won't be happy if you don't!!

[mia]

My fiancee has spoken to his first ex wife,and their daughter, and after the initial shock, that he has been charged, they are 100% behind him,and are more than willing to make a statement etc and attend court .....

My fiancee said even though they knew all about it etc; when he was on bail...having to tell them that he has been charged, was the hardest thing... I'm just relieved that they know he has been charged....I was never in any doubt that they would stand up for him xxxxx

Just want to get Tuesday out of the way now, then we will know when the date is for Crown court and can begin this fight !!!!!!!!!!!! feeling a little more positive each day x

[Saffron]

Mia, I'm so pleased that you are feeling strong today. Get those fighting boots on, girl! Very happy to hear that your kids are insisting they give evidence too - hopefully that will be helpful.
Hang in there. You are are doing brilliantly

[RFLH]

that is positive news - Keep fighting.

[mia]

Met again with the solicitor yesturday....he had some info on the accussers statements etc; not a good read !!!! a lot of what they are saying can hopefully be shot down.... his ex even states that my fiancee was the love of her life, and that after him, and what she accuses him of doing to her, she states that she could NEVER EVER be with a man or have a realationship again !!!! yet she has had numerous relationships and re-marrid after her divorce from my fiancee.....which surprisingly ended in divorce..... i'm feeling more positive, but my fiancee just thinks he is going to prison he has been off work, and still isnt able to get a full nights sleep....my heart breaks for him.... Thank you all for your continued support x
My fiancee goes back in July to Plead....NOT GUILTY and then a date for trial will be set, the solicitor says that the trial will most probablly start in Sept,Oct x

[mia]

Haven't posted for a while, but i have been on,and have been reading threads.....I wish to god i could be in a more positive place but all i think about 24/7 is the false accusations against my fiancee. He is, like others so low,and keeps muttering about being sent to prison due to 3 women (i use the term loosley) against him etc;

He enters his plea in July, and then we should be given an approximate date for trial....I have managed to get a new job,after being made redundent and i am waiting for a new CRB to be done....I am trying to convince him to go away for the weeks holiday that we had booked last summer, before this nightmare started, as i feel a week away could help to distract both of us, before the trial, if only for a week !!!!
Hoping to hear from the solicitor within the next few days, when he should have all the accussers paper work/statements in full etc;

[Browneyedgirl]

Mia, do whatever you can to convince him that you BOTH need to get away. Could a mutual friend have a talk with him? My husband and I had a holiday (celebrating a special occasion) planned and booked before we were made aware of the allegation against him. Like you, from the moment we were aware, we never thought about anything else, morning, noon and night. People were astonished when I told them we had cancelled the holiday. Our response - how could be go away when all we were thinking about was the allegation? Would we have the energy or drive even to enjoy ourselves? As time progressed to when we should have been going on away, I realised that we really should have taken the holiday and not cancelled it. Our relationship needed the holiday away from everything – like you say, even for just a week. I had undoubtedly become very bitter (not towards my husband) about the disruption the False Accusers had caused to our lives.

Congrats with the new job and hopefully you will be in a more positive place once you hear from the solicitor with the statements to get to grips with.

Sending you hugs and strength. xx

[mia]

Thanks Browneyedgirl, I'm hoping to convince him to go. I just dont know what else to do, he seems to have resigned himself to the fact that he will go to prison !!!! Its 3 against 1 (his words) and reading posts today, im now starting to feel the same, and the trial hasnt even started yet.....
I'm trying so hard to find away back, to feel positve again, yet i cant think of nothing else....

My heart breaks for us, and all the other peope falsley accussed !!!!!!!!

[Browneyedgirl]

Mia, where is that positivity I read from you only a week ago? Stay strong – you are doing brilliant. Your Fiancé is a lucky guy and I’m sure he knows that, even though his reactions may not show it. He sounds a lot like my hubby – very inward and in some ways not wanting to see any positivity in anything for fear of being disappointed. That’s why you need to stay strong and focused for both of you.

I’m sure that fighting spirit will be back once you have read the statements and can see what you are up against. Don’t forget the support from your children and his step-daughter and 2nd ex wife you spoke about – these are all positive mia.

Sending you lots of positive vibes, strength and support. xx