Help needed urgent

[wunderland]

my lawyers allways advised me not to ask them anything the longer things drag on the better your chances i know it's hard but it's smart

[tatguyuk]

stressed

ok so havnt beed around for a few days
head feels like its mashed in goto go police station on friday found i cant sleep for more than an hour at a time wifes gotten ill over all this trouble
i cant believe its come to this 6 weeks on bail and i even have an alabi i was with family ect ect
they havnt even botherd questioning them!! its been 6 weeks i cant believe the way the police work
just feel depressed docs put me on pills they dont seem to work he just says give them time
the ss havnt even gotten back to us yet so i suppose good news kids arnt on child protection im still at home with them but i just dont feel there is anything being done!
sorry for the rant but i feel really bad dont know how im gonna cope till friday

[largactyl1]

Hi there, sorry that I haven't anything useful to say. Just try and keep it together until Friday. I really hope that the truth will out for you soon. Anti-depressants take about 2 - 4 weeks to start working.

Kind wishes to you

Jen

[Casehardened]

Is it your bail date on Friday?

Have the police asked you to come in? If not, you could ask your solicitor to phone the OIC to see what is likely to happen on Friday: as it may well be a rebail.

[tatguyuk]

well its the date they gave me when they questioned me the first time so yes its the first time im answering bail
they havnt contacted me since the first interview
dont know if i can cope if they rebail i know some guys on here have been for months and months but dont know how to cope with that uncertanty cant be alone with the kids the ss told me that when they came to question us but the police didnt say anything about it
wife is ill and getting worse wont go into details but she has been touch n go a few times over the past 4 yrs
so this all together is doing my head in
sorry im in a bad place

[RFLH]

I'm sorry to read that, I hope that it gets resolved soon for you. You all seem to have a lot to contend with, without this as well.

Please use this place to vent, scream and shout - its therapeutic.

[largactyl1]

Ditto to RFLH. You will cope though, it's amazing how much a person can fight when their back is against the wall. I so hope that it will all be over Friday - but as you say, it is possible that it won't be.

It is a very cruel system for people who have been falsely accused of these horrible crimes. But I guess that for the sake of true victims of sexual assault the police must be thorough.

Try to remember the serenity prayer, using the word God as you do or do not understand him/her/it:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

You can't change the fact that you have been falsely accused, but you do have the power to fight.

Very best wishes to you. Get your boots of determination on, and fight.

Jen x

[Faith]

Is it your bail date on Friday?

Have the police asked you to come in? If not, you could ask your solicitor to phone the OIC to see what is likely to happen on Friday: as it may well be a rebail.

I second this.
The police may well not be forthcoming...it may be the decision is already in place and your solicitor can find it out. No harm in getting them to ring up...
You need to know, after all, if you need to book your solicitor to accompany you. If they plan to reinterview, for example, you must take your solicitor along

[Saffron]

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

You can't change the fact that you have been falsely accused, but you do have the power to fight.

Very best wishes to you. Get your boots of determination on, and fight.

Jen x

Thanks Jen, that's great x

[tatguyuk]

hi thx for all your support it really does help
ok since my last post ive had the police ring to say there comming to chat to my kids mad an apointment then changes time a few times and then cancil at last min
then phone my solicitor today they inform me im going to be bailed again
really want this over now
but also glad there going to chat to my oldest as they know that there ex-friend is lieying to stitch me up after i shouted at her
so trying to stay posative really now

[tatguyuk]

ok so the police have come to question my kids it all went well they answerd all the questions put to them without me in the room the wife was there my daughter told them what this girl said to her ect ect and about the times she is still hanging round our area and about how the kids was in the house when this happend
the ss also came to visit and said they would have a meeting about if the kids should go on child protection
they rang and said that they would decide if i get charged!!
i dont know if this is usual but im taking this as good news thinking if they did have doubts they would have put them on child protection

[tatguyuk]

dont know what to say just found out i could face up to 14 yrs in prison for this crime i didnt commit im in bits i was having a good few days but now im devostated
im not good on computers brother did a search
i havnt go a prayer of lasting 14 yrs in jail my wife is ill she wouldnt last that long so my kids would end up in care i dont know what to do i cant stop crying shaking i never thought something like this could happen if you was truly innocent but the more i read the more i realise that there isnt anything i can do
my wife is ill having to do all the running around with the kids all i can do is cook and clean i feel like packing it all in the only thing stopping me is the wife and kids but really cant deal with the idea of 14 yrs in prison

[lawlessone2009]

A lot of us are in the same boat. I'm a complete and utter mess at the moment so can only imagine the state you are going to be in.

It does seem like a roller coaster which although climbs into positivity for a minute or two spends the rest of the time descending into oblivion...

All I can say is hold it together and keep the chin up. Eventually the roller coaster will arrive at the end ready for the next unfortunate customer. When you get to have your day in court, if it ever comes, you need to ensure that you've prepared as best you can and have all the information neatly stored in your head. I can't propose how this will happen as no doubt your mind is a traumatised mess like mine but it WILL happen. Many have gone before us facing far worse and came back to share their successes. Others have experienced the full wrath of an unjust system and still returned to share their wisdom and experiences.

This place is a bloody good start to formulate the fight and share your worries, hell I've more than poured enough of mine out and every single time I get nothing but compassion and support in return.

You need to take time out and de-stress. You badly need to do it. A step back and have some fun for the day doing something really simple yet different.

I'm feeling for you at the mo. It might all seem doom and gloom but really it's not as bad as you think. I can't really help you out with positivity in too great a way cause I'm currently on the descent back downward but I can say that soon you'll be on the rise back up and eventually there won't be anymore downwards and the only way will be up. I am hoping you get to that stage as soon as possible.

[Faith]

Try not to assume too much from reading other cases. Remember every case is different. Just because one person got 14 years, doesn't mean to say you will. Heck, there's nothing to say you will be even found guilty.

Sometimes it's healthy to take a break from reading stuff like this. It can really mess with your head

[wunderland]

lawlessone2009 very nice words from the heart