Help needed urgent

[tatguyuk]

hi this is a bit of a long story but ill try and explain bets i can

ive known my friend for 30 yrs since we was 6 yrs old his daughter is best mates with my daughter i have 3 kids
my friends daughter is 14 and has prev got someone arrested saying they messed with her this was proved false and she was placed on child protection
becouse of this i told my wife and kids she couldnt come to my house alone and could in no way be aloud to be in a room with me alone under any curcumstance
anyway about 2 yrs ago she had what i call a girly crush on me i informed the school of this as she had stolen my mobile number from my daughters phone i showed her mom also we had a meeting at my house to tell her it isnt right
i changed my number she also sent me a few messages on facebook as my account auto accepts as its a business page each time i showed her mom and my wife
the other week she was being sick when i come home i asked why the kids told me she was giveing a condom a bj i went mad as i have a young daughter she then went upstairs with my daughter

2 days later the police are at my door saying she said we was having a relasionship and we had kissed and played with each other no sex but just with hands and mouth!!!
this is rubbish
i explained about her having a crush they interviewed me then bailed me home

then the following tue my daughter breaks down at school telling her teacher that this girl told her the night of the condom incident that she was going to get even then she had stopped her in the street on the way home from school saying i bet your dad wishes he didnt shout!!!

this girl has been kicked out of school she is now not aloud in main stream schools she got kicked out for smaking a teachers bum

the social services come out after 3 counciled appointments interviewed my kids then left saying they will let me know there desisian about child protection

my wife and kids have said im strict no boys upsairs when girls in bath ect ect
but im really stressed this has knocked me a lot my heads shot
i just need some advice really

[lawlessone2009]

Jesus. The thanks you get. There are a few others on here that have been through similar situations and they will no doubt post within the coming days.

The girl is clearly mentally disturbed for whatever reason. She's probably learned from her previous allegation that all she has to do is open her mouth and direct her venom at someone to have the authorities move in and teach them a lesson for her. I believe that she doesn't understand the consequences of her actions.

If what you've detailed so far is true then you will need to call your daughter as a witness for your defence if it ever goes to court so not only is this girl attempting to hurt you but also your daughter which burdens both yourself and your completely innocent (didn't shout at the girl!) wife with even more pain. This girl is clearly callous and deceitful and now cannot be allowed under any circumstances to be near your family. She is damaging your daughters mental health not to mention everyone elses!

I'm going to have to go offline at the mo but I will be back on tomorrow. Hopefully by then you will have had a few others evolve the post and share their knowledge.

At the moment you are a free man. Tomorrow you will be a free man. Unfortunately all that happens now is that you count down days and weeks. The initial shocked/angry feelings and questioning does subside. Since your family already know about the allegation you have one less worry than a lot of people who come on here. Stay together and stay strong.

Do not answer any more questions from the Police without at least a duty solicitor present.

As for other info, others will provide it soon if not I will post back tomorrow. You're in good hands on here and all your questions will be answered, within reason, as you type em up.

Welcome.

[tatguyuk]

some info i missed

first thanks for your welcome

yes she has adhd torrets and learning difficultys

i just dont know what to do my heads all over the place yes she texted me but i didnt respond
she did message me on facebook but again no responce from em she said she loved me ect ect
untill i went on my daughters facebook page last night and found 140 pages of her asking questions about me saying things like "i cant believe i loved your dad i hate him he tells my mom things that i say to him " now this is at a time were we are supposed to be dating!!
i just think its mad the social service women was questioning my kids looked at me like scum
my kids have daddy days its what we call a day with me 1 kid and me will go out for the day cinima movies ect ect and they made that sound sordid
like i said i have known this family a long time and in no way could look at her in anyway other that a silly girl
i dont know im proberly rambaling now but like i said my heads shot

[Faith]

Welcome to the forum and I am sorry that this has happened to you.
Right down to the actual allegation of touching and kissing to the motive of revenge after me shouting, this situation mirrors mine in a great many ways.

The fact that she has been asked to leave school due to inappropriate behaviour to a teacher could be to your advantage, but BE AWARE that this behaviour of an inappropriate nature/lack of clear knowledge on boundaries could be argued as a consequence to being abused, depending on how long she alleges you and her were in a relationship for.

Again, the fact she has vocally bragged to your daughter that she was going to get revenge is a good thing. if only she might be stupid enough to reference that in a text or email.

Have the police taken a statement from your daughter? If not, consult a specialised solicitor first. These are the reasons, as I said in another thread, why people should get solicitors before charge. You need advice on how your daughter should speak to the police, if indeed she should even do it at all. My main guess is that she will either be told not to do it at all (and she has every right to do this, she can't be arrested as she is not accused) or she will be told to write a very precise statement that only gives the necessary details.

As lawlessone very correctly says, you must have no more dealings with the police without seeking solicitor advice beforehand. They may sometimes act as your friend or imply that speaking to them may get this all cleared up quicker...these are well known tactics and they often work on vulnerable people. (Especially innocent people ironically...those used to committing crime will be all too aware of the tactics used!!)

Depending on the age of your own children, it may be that you will get some visits from social services. Be prepared that if a charge comes, you may not be able to live at the family home or if you are, you may not be allowed unsupervised access to your children. This will no doubt be very daunting but it is best you are aware of the potential consequences so they don't come as such a huge shock.

My gut feeling (and I rarely ever say this on here as I think it is misleading and wrong to try and second guess someone's case) is that this probably won't get to charge. However, I must insist that that is a personal instinct. i have no legal expertise and of course, I do not know the full details of your case. Even if I did, I am not qualified to make assumptions.
So please don't get complacent.

My reasons for believing it may not get to charge is a combination of the girl's previous allegation, her behaviour, what she said to your daughter and her motive for wanting to raise this.
If this does get to charge, these will be your main lines of defence. You could be preparing any evidence, notes, timelines etc in the meantime in case the scenario where you must defend yourself comes.

Again, to repeat another point which Lawlessone mentioned, it is very clear to me, as someone who works in a secondary school and sees these teenage accusations flying about all the time, that this girl knows that the system is balanced in her favour and also doesn;t fully appreciate the potential consequences.

To her this is a game. Accusing you of sexual assault balances out you shouting at her. Of course, in the real world, that is spectacularly wrong. It may get to the stage where she realises she has gone too far, but the system makes a retraction very difficult and even if she did pull out, the police may well still pursue an investigation.

So what now?

• Post up your county (nothing more specific as anyone can be looking on here) and someone may well be able to suggest a decent solicitor
  • Consider seeking some support from your GP
  • Build any notes that you may need in your defence
  • Ensure you have someone to open up to. How is your wife coping?
  • Try and live as normal a life as possible. This will always be in your mind, but the pain gets less intense as time goes on
  • Keep visiting us here.

Take Care.

[Faith]

untill i went on my daughters facebook page last night and found 140 pages of her asking questions about me saying things like "i cant believe i loved your dad i hate him he tells my mom things that i say to him " now this is at a time were we are supposed to be dating!!

Screen shot these messages (even ones you don't see as relevant) then store the data at a different address of someone you trust. Do not give it to the police. This is for your eyes and your solicitor's when you get one.

[tatguyuk]

more info

hi thanks for advice yes im in westmidlands area
the police havnt spoke to her only the ss
my solicitor informed the police about what happend 4 days ago but no-one has been to see her
befor all this happend my family was aware of her feelings towards me but like i said we all sat down told her she was wrong feeling this was
she is also dating an 18 yr old though and texting and meeting a lot of boys and goes out at all times
i did send screen shots from facebook to my solicitor and she sent them to the police she said it would help me

[Faith]

So long as your solicitor approved it first. The reason you need to run these things past a solicitor first is because there are many ways in which the police can twist evidence they receive against you and an expert in this field is far more likely to recognise what evidence the police should and should not see. The other thing they can do is take this new information to the accuser, question them on it and get them to add to or change their statement so it fits in before charge...that way your evidence becomes useless at trial stage as they have developed a perfect counter argument.

Is this solicitor your duty solicitor. Sex related cases are dealt with very differently so you ideally should be dealing with someone who is experienced. I know little of the West Midlands, unfortunately the only knowledge of a solicitor there is a negative one...please avoid Mandla Bhomra Bham solicitors. Someone closer to your area, or member Rights Fighter, who has a good deal of contacts in the soliciting world () may be able to help you with a positive solicitor.

The reason they aren't rushing to speak to your daughter is because they know it is unlikely to provide them with much against you. All they are looking for is enough to convict you on.

What happens from this stage is a file of evidence is presented to the CPS (eventually!) who will weigh up how likely a prosecution is. If there is a 51% or above prospect of conviction then they will charge you. If they don't think it's good enough to reach course, they will take No Further Action but your case will likely remain on file should any other 'evidence' surface. Generally though, no further action means just that.

[Casehardened]

Hi,

Faith has given you some excellent advice (as always!) and covered all bases.

I noticed that in your second post that you mentioned that your accuser had ADHD; this struck a chord with me as my accuser had ADD (fortunately this had been professionally diagnosed well before the time of the allegation so couldn't be laid at my door)

I googled & printed out the symptoms which included lying and attention seeking and gave copies to my OIC who had said she had never heard of the condition.

It may be useful for you to do the same though, as mentioned, now you have a solicitor on board it would be best to ask them first.

[lawlessone2009]

Looks like I disappeared just in time for Faith to give you some excellent and well constructed advice.

Strangely through all of your story I feel that you have genuine sorrow that your caring attitude and thoughtfulness for someones daughter has resulted in your current situation. I also feel sorry for the girl, she is not alone in being completely disturbed in our present society. Kids increasingly have no respect or thoughts for others. It in no way excuses the girls behaviour but she is not entirely to blame although she is the instigator.

Faith has provided masses of info. When you've had time not only to read it but also thoroughly understand all that is implied you will have further questions. Obviously just now you probably feel as if we're asking more questions but this is merely to attempt to get a thorough understanding. The recommendations made so far will put you in good standing.

Social services are a mixed bag. Sometimes you get a truly devoted worker who gets to the truth where as at other times you get a paper shuffling box ticker. Any dealings you have with SS should be two ways, you need to suss out the person you are dealing with. This can be incredibly difficult but try to remember that even the most experienced make mistakes. If you can, try and secretly 'record' any conversations, it may not be any good in a legal situation but at least you can play it to your solicitor should any doubts arise.

[Rights Fighter]

I liaise with a wonderful barrister who serves the West Midlands.

His solicitors of choice are http://www.rnwilliams.com/


My solicitors of choice are

http://www.glaisyers.co.uk/services/...l-defence.aspx

Either are as good as each other. If you are charged I will refer you to the barrister I have mentioned. He has 22 years defending false allegations under his belt.

[Denise]

Hi
Just wanted to welcome you to the forum

My son was falsely accused by my 2 (ex) step daughters, both had problems
If you have time, read my story and the excellent advice I was given

Xx

[Rights Fighter]

........please avoid Mandla Bhomra solicitors.

Someone closer to your area, or member Rights Fighter, who has a good deal of contacts in the soliciting world () may be able to help you with a positive solicitor

Some of us are attending an appeal relating to that firm very soon. I have seen some of the trial paperwork and know exactly what they did NOT do. Plus they instructed barristers who clearly had very little idea of what they were doing. One is a self-confessed Luddite so he refused point blank to use evidence we found on the internet. You would be better off instructing the Wombles - honestly!

Yes I know a little about soliciting.............in touch with quite a few good ones and retained by the best!

[wunderland]

what a little brat they should send her to prison to see what it feels like trying to ruin somone's life YUCK it's totally disgusting she is a psychopath

[tatguyuk]

i didnt mean to come of harsh in anyway but yes im hurt i have treated this girl like family ok she was always watched but that was couse she is ill and you have to be carefull she breaks things ect ect
but it still doesnt excuse the fact that this has happend my daughter os doing gcse the wife is ill and were in this mad situation

[wunderland]

there is a movie by clint eastwood called "play misty for me" sounds like your mates daughter I really feel sorry for you buddy as if life is not hard enough as it is your 100% correct never be alone with her she is out to get you