Hi everyone

[SW75]

Hi guys

I've just registered as a new member. I was falsely accused of rape (forced oral sex) in 2007, and, despite no charge or conviction, my life has been completely torn apart. My entire family is badly affected of course, and I've 2 precious daughters (1 disabled and 1 a baby) who have kept me alive (literally) all this time.

Because I was daft in terms of my personal life (a spell of reactive depression and some promiscuity), the police had an absolute field day with me.

Interestingly, and tragically, my accuser has accused 2 men since (1 of rape and 1 of serious sexual assault). Police were aware of the rape one certainly and the 2nd one was dealt with by social services internally. They ignored this to pursue me and continue to destroy my life.

I can't seem to find anyone who can help me fight back. Solicitors tend not to email me back, etc.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to how to find help and find justice?

Best

Steve

[Faith]

Hi Steve

It depends what it is you want in terms of justice

Could you start up your own thread in the falsely accused section and briefly outline what negative effects you feel this has caused you (I'm sure there are plenty!) and what your ideal consequences would be.

We'll try and help you from there

[lawlessone2009]

I'm awaiting trial for oral rape at the moment.

The biggest struggle I have is trying to get my head around how anyone could actually commit oral rape. I have spoken to many males and quite a few females (in a subtle and completely non-sexual manner!) about how it would be possible and what the results 'could' be.

Most males indicate that 'oral' sex is pretty pointless and useless unless the female is verging on porn star capabilities and that they prefer simple straight forward sex.

Most females tend to say they'd simply 'bite' it. My exposure to females of course is limited to only those near to me who know about the allegation/charge. My mother was a secondary school teacher for nearly three decades so she is pretty well informed on both sides (male and female) and she was as surprised as me about the allegation. It's not something I've ever been interested in.

Did you stand trial for the allegation or was it No Futher Action'd?

[Faith]

Most males indicate that 'oral' sex is pretty pointless and useless unless the female is verging on porn star capabilities and that they prefer simple straight forward sex.

The counter argument to that being that rape is very much often about control rather than sexual pleasure.
Also, rape doesn't have to be violent, whereby the attacker 'forces' his way in. The victim not wanting to but feeling threatened into doing so is enough to constitute rape.

These are some things you may come up against. I forget the specifics of your case lawlessone, I can't recall if your accuser is suggesting it was a violent 'rape' or not

[SW75]

Hi you guys

Hi you guys. I did post a reply to you Faith, but it hasn't registered on the site for some reason. I didn't stand trial as such, although the fear of that, knowing your not a rapist, is indescribable as you almost certainly will know.
I'm also a new member, so can only reply to threads, and can't start a new thread I think.
What did happen is that the police 'believed' my accuser... although there was no evidence to support her story, and all the evidence clearly pointed away from rape. Thus, no charge. But she was obviously very convincing in her attempt to drive towards the rape allegation as they persisted in believing her to build a case against me. Unbelievably ignoring evidence that didn't fit. Are they blinkered? Or do they have chips on their shoulders? Or do they truly believe that every allegation is truthful?
My accuser did change her story on several occasions: from confirming my version of events, to 1 episode of forced oral sex, to several, to consent, then back to several. And, ultimately, in a civil hearing was allowed to choose which one was the 'correct' one. Again ignoring all the evidence!
I do agree that rape is about control, and threat if not always overt violence. But the oral sex issue perplexes me.
Please mate, be strong and be true to yourself.
The more I look into the rape issue, the more I become aware of false allegations and the reasons given for them (revenge, 'a woman scorned,' covering up their exposed sexual behaviour, etc). The tragedy is that those who are genuinely raped are served a huge insult and injustice by those who do this.
The problem is that the police drive to build a case against the accused for the 'victim.' They are particularly forgiving and protective of rape accusers. To a point of abandoning common sense at times.
The results for us, the accused, is that we are humiliated, caused unbelievable stress, and the loss of friendships, damage to families, careers and lives is immeasurable. All even without a trial in my case. Prosecution and conviction by stealth.
Don't know if I'm making a lot of sense (late and picking my daughter up tomorrow from midlands).

[Faith]

Thank you for posting this up. So am I right in thinking that you were never charged? You were given an NFA?

Or was this thrown out after charge?

With regards to your comments about the police, the sad fact of the matter is that it is not about truth and justice, it is about what you say, building up enough evidence. It doesn't matter if the police believe you or not, if there is a chance they can get enough evidence against you, then they will push forward. often this involves abandoning and deliberately ignoring common sense and any evidence or other factors that may hinder a prosecution.

The police have been set targets to increase convictions on sexual offences. Therefore, they are under increased pressure to get as many guilty verdicts as possible. It is more like a business now, only people's lives are at stake.

And, while there needs to be not a shred of proof that any rape occurred...for a prosecution to go the other way (ie a false accuser having action taken against them),you need a watertight case (more often than not, an admission that it was lies)

Great system...British Justice makes you proud indeed.

[SW75]

Nfa?

Not sure what an NFA stands for? Probably could work it out, but I'm so sleepy and must head to bed soon as early drive tomorrow.

Yes - no charge. I understood the drive to secure more convictions (statistically) from media reports... although the media is another nightmare in itself - they get part of a story and run with it, putting whatever slant or twist upon it that they think will sell them papers I guess. Had experience of this in a horrific way too.

To hear that about the police mentality and approach makes my heart sink. But I strongly suspected this was the case from my own anecdotal experience. It's so very wrong. It should be about justice and weighing both sides of the story fairly.

Fundamentally, rape is about lack of consent. Unfortunately, lots of these cases are almost Stalinist in that it is one person's word against another. Stalinist in that the accuser is given so much weight and power over the accused, guaranteeing maximum damage and distress to the 'accused' whether innocent or not. Not far off informants in Nazi Germany and under Stalin's regime!

The terrible thing about all of this is that the police seem almost untouchable and don't seem to have to account for the damage of arrests or investigations when no charge or conviction comes about.

I spoke with a solicitor briefly recently, who spoke openly about British justice. She said that justice in the legal system is an 'abstract concept.' Seeking justice, I was told I was very unlikely to find it... but I so desperately need to for my daughters and for all the unbelievable pain my accuser and the police, etc have caused me and still cause me.

I'll be away from the net for a couple of days as getting broadband installed in my flat and will be with my daughter.

The police pushed forward minus any evidence supporting the allegation in my case. At worst, the evidence was suggestive of overt consent, with a couple of mirror allegations following mine. My spell of entirely consensual promiscuity though played right into their hands... it seems if you have sexual relationships, rather than building a picture of someone who doesn't force himself on people, it seems to, in part, support the rape allegation. But rape is very much about control and not about sex (or at least control is the defining feature in my eyes).

[Faith]

Sadly, your solicitor is bang on...you are unlikely to have a case against the police or your accuser...and pursuing it will be costly and stressful and may well drag it all back up.

the best way to prove your victory is get on with your lives as a family. Her just desserts will come to her through one way or another...it invariably does with people like that.

[lawlessone2009]

The counter argument to that being that rape is very much often about control rather than sexual pleasure.
Also, rape doesn't have to be violent, whereby the attacker 'forces' his way in. The victim not wanting to but feeling threatened into doing so is enough to constitute rape.

These are some things you may come up against. I forget the specifics of your case lawlessone, I can't recall if your accuser is suggesting it was a violent 'rape' or not

The allegation against me involved the 'victim' sleeping... I know violence doesn't need to be a part of it, sorry if I implied it did. Was running on empty when I posted and missed out clarifying my point clearly.

[Faith]

Oh yes I remember now...ludicrous.
I know you didn't imply that it needed to be violent

[Rights Fighter]

I can't remember when it was but the charge of oral rape was brought in a few years back (used to be indecent assault) due to the Government trying to increase rape convictions to meet their own targets.

You may not understand the concept of it but it is possible to (now in law) orally rape a person. A genuine victim is probably scared still of doing anything such as biting in case the assault turns more violent.

If the penis enters the mouth of a sleeping person (if only for a nano second) then consent has not been given - because the person was sleeping, even if they wake up immediately afterwards.

These things DO happen. I often get the guilty attempting to hide among the innocent and it is clear on wasting my time reading the trial paperwork exactly what has happened. It is not impossible at all, or difficult to orally rape a person.

[SW75]

But what of those innocent of any crime?

There are also those innocent of a crime of course. Depending on source, the percentage of allegations of rape that are made is alarmingly high. Anecdotally, it seems to be younger 'victims' who are more likely to lack the life experience to understand the impact on the person they accuse for whatever reason (revenge, being jilted, being cheated on, having a relationship ending messily, etc).

A case I noted recently involved a young teacher accusing 2 men of rape she had had a 'threesome' with. It became apparent during the trial that she had not been raped, but had made the allegation following gossip about her sexual exploits. Unfortunately, one of the young men commited suicide before the case reached court. The judge was incredibly critical of the police and the accuser, stating that the case should never have reached court, and her clearly false allegation had cost a young man his life.

I myself was at the brink of 'topping' myself soon after the realisation of the horror of the allegation being taken very seriously and people's reaction to me. Prior to that I was out shopping with my daughter with my head held high, knowing I was not a rapist... but once the allegation is made many people judge you and see you very differently.

There must be some route by which I can get back at them, or challenge the system. Surely the police need to absolutely justify arresting someone for rape given the huge, devastating consequences on embarking on that path.

In my case, as you know, I wasn't charged, but the police then went on to destroy my career and I was humiliated in a very public way via civil law. Implications were made and publicised that were either untrue or were not based on any evidence at all.

The case of Colin Stagg is a perfect example - the police absolutely believed he was guilty of murder (of Rachel Nickel)... but the judge ridiculed their lack of any solid evidence and lack of case on bringing the case to court. Following this, the police went on to make a documentary about him convincing the public he was guilty... and he was latterly found to be innocent of the crime on dna evidence identifying the real killer. He did sue the police and was compensated accordingly.

There must be a solicitor out there who is willing to challenge the system, as it's clearly very flawed where rape and allegations of rape are concerned.

One last point for now is that I am now, having never been charged or convicted, a possessor of an onerous CRB. I'll never be able to work with children or vulnerable adults (almost everyone) as a result of this allegation. Yet I've never committed a crime (certainly not of any magnitude), and would never dream of forcing myself on anyone. How can they do this? I do have 3 months to appeal this i think.

[Faith]

There are solicitors out there who campaign against the system but there is only so much people can do.

You have 3 months from the receipt of the CRB with the soft information on it to appeal what is on there. What exactly does it say? i take it the allegation is mentioned in the 'additional information' section?

[SW75]

Crb

Hi

Just spotted typo in my last post - should have read false allegations, not allegations in the early part of the post.

It's actually a disclosure scotland issue I have rather than CRB, although it will apply South of the border I suspect too, as I'm sure these agencies communicate with one another.

I used to be a doctor, so, despite no charge and no conviction, the police drove through to register as an interested party with the GMC, and, no matter how often my accuser was caught lying, how illogical the evidence was, and how many versions of the story she told (including recanting during the police investigation), I was not going to win. So many injustices I won't begin to list them all here about the GMC process. And, with a civil standard of evidence (used to be criminal standard, and rightly so given their power to ruin lives), they could cherry pick what evidence loosely fitted the outcome the police wished for (as well as ignore and dismiss that which made it clear to anyone with common sense that their had been no rape).

I met a senior GP in Surrey before I was to attend the GMC hearing. We spoke about the hearing to come and a close friend of his's experience with the GMC, and his parting words were, 'don't expect justice...' I didn't take those words literally at the time.

My impression of my hearing was, opening statement was made by the GMC employed barrister to the GMC employed 'independent' panel. Press were in attendance. The opening statement was one side of the story and was not for painting me in a good light of course. Press ran stories on the opening statement destroying me, GMC in part react to the press reaction.

You'll recall the MMR scare chap of late who was struck off by the GMC. His research and results were valid. He did nothing wrong. But the GMC struck him off as they didn't like what he made public and the scares that resulted. He successfully appealed thankfully. But they made every effort to destroy him and his life / career will never be the same. Despite the successful high court appeal I suspect.

I hope I'm making some sense - these posts I've been doing fairly late on.

The overall point is that I am a kind, soft-hearted person and a father of 2 precious girls. I am not the monster they painted me out to be for their own ends. It makes my heart break endlessly for the daddy who has been so crippled by the whole ordeal and my blood boil with resentment and hatred for those who made it so.

[Raptorace]

Hi Sw75

If youve read any of my posts youll know i feel very much the same. I was NFA'd but my life and career had gone as had my happy go lucky personality, instead im still left with hate, anger and utter exasperation!

Ive spent thousands of hours trying to figure out how to make this situation even as i dont think i can move on unless some fairness has been achieved.

The legal system offers no means to get there even though i was prepared to spend tens of thousands trying along with as many hours as was required.

The only thing that keeps me going is the thought that one day inevitably i will become seriously ill, and in the period between diagnosis and death is a brief oppertunity to even the score. (those that have not been personally falsley accused may find that last part extreme and worrying, those who have been personally falsely accussed and lost everything will understand totally)