Wrongly accused of rape by wife 7 years ago

[ivedonenothing]

Hi, my wife of 15 years (we are currently going through divorce) has accused me of rape 7 years ago. We had another child together 3 years ago.

She went round to the house we shared a couple of weeks ago to get some of her belongings. While there, she came across some sex tapes we made a number of years ago. She is claiming she can't remember making them (we were both incredibly drunk) and she says i drugged her and raped her as she appears to have passed out.

I have to go back to the police station in a months time, i assume to be charged.
What is likely to happen to me ?
TIA

[Rights Fighter]

Have you been interviewed? If so did you have a solicitor present?

You may be asked to be interviewed again so if this happens make sure you find a solicitor who is experienced in defending false allegations. A criminal defence solicitor who is experienced in getting burglars off or defending TWOC or assault charges is not enough.

It's entirely possible that you would end up just being rebailed of course.

[ivedonenothing]

Thanks for your reply.
I had a duty solicitor present during questioning, he read out a pre prepared statement, then i answered no comment to everything else.
I just find it ridiculous that i could be sent to prison for having sex with my wife when we were drunk, and very much in love....
I just wish i knew what the sentence is likely to be should i be convicted.

[Rights Fighter]

For goodness sakes stop looking at sentence as you've not even been charged and may not be!

It will depend on what is on the tapes of course. If it looks as though she was unconscious then you will need to instruct your own experts (or you sol will) to examine them closely.

Is she skint by any chance? Just looking for motive.....

[ivedonenothing]

Yes she is...she consolidated her debts about a month ago.
The tapes do look like she is unconcious. As i said tho, it was consensual sex, she passed out, i carried on cos we were drunk.

I'm still the person she rings when her boyfriends dump her. I just don't understand
why she's doing it. And what effect its going to have on our 4 kids god only knows !

[Rights Fighter]

Was she unconscious all the way through it or towards the end? I have to say I wouldn't be too thrilled if somebody took a video of me passed out with somebody having sex with me.

How do you know she was aware of the filming? Had you watched the film together afterwards?

One motive for making false allegations of rape is the money that can be made by an application to CICA.

If she was unconscious then in law she could not have given consent. Did she ever 'do sexual things to you' when you were asleep and you woke up to find it happening? I have no idea of your proclivities (neither do I want to read them here!) but some couples have an understanding that they can do what they like while the other is asleep - not my cup of tea but each to their own.

Filming it if she was not aware of the filming is not something I am comfortable with in this section of the forum as this is for the falsely accused. If she had no idea that you were filming her then you may need to think about a guilty plea to that part of it.

You need to get clear in your mind exactly what happened and what was agreed at the time and during the relationship.

[ivedonenothing]

ive woken up to her doing things to me too. She knew about the filming as we had a little argument about it. I know it isn't right, but we had both had about 8 pints of lager, which we would do regularly, and she still does.
She's woken in the past, before we met, to men having sex with her when she's been drunk

[Rights Fighter]

I'm assuming that you 'had a little argument' about the filming because she didn't like you doing it.

if she has woken up in the past drunk and found men having sex with her then she really needs to stop drinking and seek help.

If she didn't like you filming her then this was without consent. I don't blame her being very upset about it.

I have a feeling that you are on the wrong forum.

A guilty plea in relation to the filming at the earliest opportunity will result in a much shorter sentence. I have no idea how you are going to tackle the fact she appears to be unconscious while you were having sex with her. Possibly she wasn't unconscious when you started - and possibly she did not say 'stop' - I have no idea.

I hope you learn from this unpleasant and mucky episode - just don't do it again. It's not attractive.

[ivedonenothing]

She knew about it, she is just lying due to influence from friends, the fact she's on anti depressants, she has no money and she is bitter about the divorce. I have numerous photos of her, which are posted all over facebook, of her passed out due to drink. Had her female friends drugged her for her to be in that state ? I very much doubt it. She gets escorted from pubs regularly for being too drunk, and then falling asleep. There are even pics of her so drunk that her friends have drawn sexual images on her body...also pics of her prancing around in public in only her bra and knickers.

[ivedonenothing]

Her last 2 boyfriends have left her too due to the fact she drinks too much to the point of unconsciousness.
The things we did were done while we were in a loving relationship

[Rights Fighter]

Being drunk makes her more vulnerable to abuse. She cannot consent to sex if she is unconscious.

However she appears on Facebook is not going to be helpful at any trial if it relates to her 'bad character' as it simply won't be allowed in.

The only time it might be considered would be if she tried to say that she never drinks, never gets drunk or into any unattractive situations such as you describe and you may possibly use it to rebut that.

Having a serious drink problem (which it seems she has) does not mean that somebody cannot be raped. It means it is more likely - because they cannot consent once they lapse into a stupor.

[ivedonenothing]

I have tried to help her with her drinking. I've bought her gifts to encourage her to have a hobby. She is in with a bad crowd. These facebook pics can be accessed by my 4 children which i'm not happy about. At the time the tapes were made, she consented to sex...ok, i shouldn't have made the tapes, i know that was foolish, BUT she did know they were made.

[Rights Fighter]

It makes no odds whether you tried to help her with her drink problem - in this case.

You've already said you both were drunk and although you say she knew about the films, if she was unconscious when you had sex with her and while you were filming it, she would have only known about it after the event - so she did not consent to the filming.

Are your children old enough to have Facebook accounts? Can you not monitor their activities on Facebook so they cannot view the photos? You could block the profile from theirs.

[ivedonenothing]

3 of my children have facebook but i'm not allowed to see them while this is ongoing.
I only found out about the facebook stuff on friday, by that time, it was too late to do anything regarding the kids.
I sent her a text last monday regarding the kids, and on tuesday she had no recollection of the text. How on earth is she going to remember something from 7 years ago if she can't remember what happened the previous day ?

[Rights Fighter]

She doesn't need to remember - the films will possibly show that she was unconscious and therefore not consenting.

Her evidence so far is that she was shocked when she saw the films and didn't remember the sex or making the films. Whether you told her about making the film afterwards is immaterial.

If the film(s) show her as being unconscious throughout the act, then she cannot have consented. In law this is rape.

If she was unconscious when you set the camera up and only became aware of the film being made afterwards, then she did not consent to the making of it.

Whether she knew about it afterwards but forgot until she saw them recently is neither here nor there.

In summary:
if the film shows she was unconscious throughout then she could not give consent - therefore in law she was raped.

If the film shows she was unconscious throughout and was not aware of the camera filming her, then you have committed another offence (not sure the legal terminology, may be a form of voyeurism) but you have filmed yourself having sex with somebody who was unconscious and she was not aware at the time, that you were filming her.

If the Crown decide to proceed there may well be those two charges (at least from what you have said).