Wrongly accused of rape by wife 7 years ago

[ivedonenothing]

Oh dear. So the fact she consented to sex, then fell asleep, is irrelevant ?
It's not looking very bright for me then is it !

[Faith]

ivedonenothing...not sure your username is all that apt to be honest. I understand that you are in a bad situation but you seem to be under the impression that you haven't done anything wrong.

Whether you knew it or not, in the eyes of the law, if someone is partially or fully unconcious they are not able to give consent. Your wife was clearly unhappy with you making those tapes, hence your argument afterwards. You did not seek her permission after making them. And, after discovering her discomfort, they still exist, meaning you kept them anyway.

You're on dodgy ground I'm afraid. I must agree with RF...your best bet is to be honest. Say that you believed to have consent but admit to the fact that there was no consent behind your filming of it. It will not look good to a jury to see a tape of a man having sex with an unconcious woman.

[ivedonenothing]

I had consent for sex. As i was drunk i never thought of anything else. Surely, if she was unhappy she should have filed the claim 7 years ago.
I wasn't aware i could rape my wife in the confines of a loving relationship. I never had the need to rape her as sex was readily available. At best i've made a grave mistake.
We had several blissfully happy married years after the tape was done.
She also 'raped' me then as i woke several times to her using my body !

[ivedonenothing]

I admit there wasn't consent to filming, but i didn't realise that was an issue i'm afraid

[Faith]

I think questions will be asked of your wife as to why she didn't report it at the time.
Is it likely that her response may be that she wasn't aware it had even happened until she came across the tapes?

Unfortunately, not knowing the law isn't sufficient mitigation for breaking it.

[ivedonenothing]

She was well aware of the tape, i fell asleep due to drink, and she woke and found the camera still in bed, viewed it, and had words with me.

[ivedonenothing]

so, it's highly likely i'll go to prison then ?

[Faith]

It's not possible for us to be able to answer that.
Your best bet is to find a good solicitor, be very HONEST with them throughout and see what they advise.

By holding up your hands and admitting the things you did wrong you are more likely to get a more lenient consequence.

[ivedonenothing]

I've been honest with myself throughout. As you stated, not knowing the law doesn't give cause to break it. I did have consent for sex. I didn't have consent to film it. She knew about the filming afterwards as we rowed about it. I'm only guilty of ignorance....not a defence i know. Thanks for your helpful advice

[Faith]

You've been naive and made some silly mistakes but, from what you've said on here, I wouldn't call you a rapist by any stretch.
i hope it all works out for you.
Regardless of what did or did not happen, your wife has waited this length of time to report and that suggests to me motives quite apart from the trauma of anything. After all, she stayed with you for 7 years and had a child with you.

Naturally I don't know the full story. This response is only based on what you have said.

My advice would remain the same. Talk things through with a specialist solicitor. be detailed and transparent and see what advice you are offered.

[ivedonenothing]

I have told the truth on here. I wanted any advice given to be based upon the truth. I didn't want it sugar coating to try to make myself feel better about any outcome. Again, thank you for your help.

[ivedonenothing]

The crazy thing is, i'm still in love with her. I never wanted to divorce. Life huh !

[Rights Fighter]

She was well aware of the tape, i fell asleep due to drink, and she woke and found the camera still in bed, viewed it, and had words with me.

So she did not know or consent to the filming. She was unhappy that you had done so.

You kept the film(s) (for 7 years) despite knowing that she did not like the fact you filmed her, instead of destroying them when you realised how upset she was.

If you are charged, a guilty plea (at least for the making of the film without her consent) will result in a shorter sentence for that one.

Does the film show her consenting initially?

[Rights Fighter]

so, it's highly likely i'll go to prison then ?

You've not been charged yet.

[Rights Fighter]

....................
Regardless of what did or did not happen, your wife has waited this length of time to report and that suggests to me motives quite apart from the trauma of anything. After all, she stayed with you for 7 years and had a child with you..............

It seems she didn't actually wait 7 years - she only realised this had happened when she saw the film(s).

There may be no motive for making the allegation (I won't say 'false' because it is not a false allegation) other than she was disgusted and upset when she realised you had kept the films for so long despite the fact you knew she was upset at the time. It is entirely possible that she had genuinely forgotten that episode until it was raked up when she found the films.