Son falsely accused of raping step sister !

[J&PVTHW]

Thank you both for your kind and encouragement today.

As you are aware my son has been re-bailed until June.
We came up against a CRB check at the begining of the week where after taking advice from our solicitor i had to try and skirt around why my son was not able to apply for a job to his training advisor. This conversation was hostile from the advisor asking why my son was refusing to co-operate and after me eventually stating that IF we had been aware from the outset that the job would entail a CRB check i would have informed the advisor that this was not possible at this time.

I do not wish to disclose to the training program what my son is on bail for and am most upset that he was hounded yesterday by this heartless women even after being told my myself that my son was on bail for something he did not do but i would not disclose what for.

Where is the justice in this country? How can people's lives be left in tatters based on anothers lies? Gosh we live in an ignorant world !!!

[Rights Fighter]

Thank you both for your kind and encouragement today.

As you are aware my son has been re-bailed until June.
We came up against a CRB check at the begining of the week where after taking advice from our solicitor i had to try and skirt around why my son was not able to apply for a job to his training advisor. This conversation was hostile from the advisor asking why my son was refusing to co-operate and after me eventually stating that IF we had been aware from the outset that the job would entail a CRB check i would have informed the advisor that this was not possible at this time.

I do not wish to disclose to the training program what my son is on bail for and am most upset that he was hounded yesterday by this heartless women even after being told my myself that my son was on bail for something he did not do but i would not disclose what for.

Where is the justice in this country? How can people's lives be left in tatters based on anothers lies? Gosh we live in an ignorant world !!!

It's difficult I know but we have to remember that there are evil people in this world and it is incumbent on job/course hirers to filter out those who might or could be a threat to anybody else on those schemes. Plus, there are indeed mothers/family members who are in complete denial of their loved ones' genuine offending. You are not one of them but she is not to know that.

This lady has to do her job - if for instance somebody was assaulted 'under her watch' then it would be her responsibility. She would not be able to use the excuse 'well the mother told me he was falsely accused' to save her skin.

It's a hard lesson that has been learned. If he intends to embark on another course find out beforehand whether a CRB check is necessary and go from there.

So sorry you and your lad had to learn this lesson the hard way

[J&PVTHW]

It's a youth training course RF, in all fairness they are trying to find my son some work based training. He is into music so although thinking she was doing good by trying to place him in a local community centre it turns out he would be dealing with all ages which also goes against his bail conditions.

For obvious reasons we have not wanted to disclose to the training course my sons plight and were totally unaware of the CRB check that was looming.

I agree 110% in CRB checks being undertaken and can understand why this is being insisted on for this placement. What i am annoyed about was the ladies attitude when i was eventually faced with having to tell her that my son could not attend that placement because he was on bail for something i was not able to disclose.

I am struggling to keep some sort of normality for my son even though i am struggling with life myself. He is young and nieve and thinks because 'he knows he has done nothing wrong' that justice will be done.

[Rights Fighter]

It's a really difficult situation to be in - I can only imagine how you must be feeling.

I can't really think of anything useful to say

[Faith]

I wouldn't take it personally the way that this woman talked to you.
It is probably her blanket attitude to everyone who has a sniff of a criminal record...as RF says, I am sure they have come across guilty people trying to wangle their way in.

She doesn't know any of the facts of your case so at the end of the day, let her be snotty. The people who matter know the truth.

When this is all over, then is the time to start worrying about CRB checks etc. I think now you need to avoid taking too much on; your son too even though he is being understandably naive.

[Saffron]

J, to be absolutely honest....
before any of this happened to me and Mr Saffron, we would both have run a mile from anyone on bail/with a record! It is only since we have discovered how unjust the UK "justice" system is that we have been able to keep an open mind. Our opinion always used to be of the "no smoke without fire" brigade. Now of course we know that not to be the case. In fact we are in the process of moving house to get away from our "ghosts".
Hopefully your lad will be cleared and this won't rear its ugly head again.
I really feel for you

[gem]

hia j so sorry you are feeling down today ...
go and book yourself in for some healing massage therapy and clear your head ..
it helps me enormously. you can,t change what has been said or happened.
so back to being positive ............ sending you hugs

[Browneyedgirl]

Hi J
Sorry you are feeling so low today. Totally agree with gem, try to arrange to do something to focus your thoughts elsewhere, even for an hour or so. I know this is difficult flower – I often wish I could practice what I preach. We just eat, sleep and breathe our ordeals morning, noon and night don’t we? We look like we are in for some decent weather this weekend. Take the dog (or a friend’s dog if you haven’t got one) for a nice long walk, somewhere picturesque. Trying to take your mind off things here J if you hadn’t already guessed. Sending you lots of hugs. xx

[J&PVTHW]

Hello my lovelys,

I'm feeling much better today, i had a good cry last night and really did feel quite ill by the end of the day but today i am not going to allow myself to wallow.

Thank you all for your kind words yesterday it really did make me feel like at least i have others who understand what i am going through. My husband and i are struggling to comunicate about the accusation as my husband has just built a brick wall up around himself refusing to talk about anything as if it is not really happening. I think that is why i feel so much on my own ??

[Izzy]

Glad your feeling a bit better today J. It's normal to have bad days when your going through this.

I think everyone copes in their own way, I personally find I want to talk about it and my other half doesn't really and I find that hard sometimes. That's why the forum is so good, everyone on here can relate to how someone is feeling.

Take care x

[J&PVTHW]

Thank you again Izzy for your kind words.

I am so grateful for your support and am relieved that it is not only me that feels frustrated that my husband is unable to discuss things with me.

I work on knowledge is key whereas he works on the basis of too much info can drive you bonkers. If i had not found this site in the early days of our investigation i would be none of the wiser of how the police and authorities treat people in our situation. I would have gladly handed over the evidence i have collected to support my son and not for one min thought that this would have worked against us.

I intend on going for a shopping day with my best friend tomorrow and a long walk on the beach with my dogs are sundays activities.

[NOHOPE]

sounds just like me and my hubby, i want to talk about it and sort outthings if worse comes ro worse but he wont here any of it and just will not accept he could go to prison for this just because he is innocent.
but as someone has said we all cope in different ways and at least we have this site to at least say how we feel and get support.
but how sad is the society we live in that this site even exists.
anyway its fridayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy no work for 2 days, something to celebrate eh.

[J&PVTHW]

Hi NOHOPE

My son believes because he is innocent then justice will prevail, my husband and i have had a rude awakening by how incompetent the police are and cannot believe that you are deemed guilty just by one persons allegation. No proof, no evidence and no witnesses are needed in order to ruin so many people's lives.

I was shocked when first stumbling across this site at how many people this affects. Today is my 'bearing up' day, yesterday was my 'dont want to get out of bed' day but the day before i was so full of hope and felt really strong. Funny isnt it that every day brings a different feeling?

If it wasnt for this site i would feel completely isolated. I said to my husband last night that i dont know how i am going to cope if my son is sent to prison for something he hasnt done, i am filled with hatred for my son's accuser and am unsure if i could live my life feeling that way. It consumes me at times where i just want to get out of my own skin if that makes any sense? My husband keeps telling me not to be so silly and to pull myself together as we have a little girl and have to keep thinks as normal as possible for her. My husband bless him is not really hearing my anguish, although not uncaring he probably thinks he is doing his best to keep his family together.

I am going to try and make an effort to smile this weekend as it seems like i havent for almost a lifetime.

Thank you again, you lovely people for taking the time to share your experiences
with others while going through your own nighmare.i am now getting to a position myself that i am able to pass on valuable information that i was once given apon joining the group.