Son falsely accused of raping step sister !

[Izzy]

Hi J,

I would continue to collect as much info as possible, even if you don't know if it's relevant.
I'm sorry you're having such a horrendous time. I read everyone's thread but sometimes find it hard to post as I get emotional to.
It's been months since my Son's nightmare started ( different circumstances) and I know how it feels to have your world turned upside down.

Thinking of you x

[J&PVTHW]

Izzy

I too read posts every day and am heartbroken reading innocent people are sent to prison based on one person's lies. I also cannot post as it becomes too emotional and raw.

Thank you for your support it means so much to me.

xxxxxx

[gem]

hi j
i cannot say how the bail works as my son was arrested and charged same day, so really don,y know how it works, but from what i read on others it all depends on the cps and what they come up with. it seems to vary.
the evidence you have i would say is very helpful in character building on this girl.
the solicitor is right in telling you to wait and see if he is charged before showing evidence to police. but defiantly get more copies. we were victims of lost evidence from the police. so do not trust them. facebook evidence is good evidence try to get what you can and keep looking. asking friends of friends if they know her.
her neighbours. school mates.anything you can
you have the advantage of being armed in the beginning of the nightmare.
my error was trusting the justice system, if i had the info i have now, at my sons trial he would have been found not guilty. xx

[J&PVTHW]

feeling down today !

I didnt have a very good night sleep last night, i had nightmare's regarding the satistics and targets of rape convictions where i was shouting out that there are innocent people being sent to prison but i was not being heard. Almost like i was shouting out load but there was nothing coming out. Then i woke up...

Ive had a pounding headache all morning and have now decided to take the rest of the afternoon off work to visit my brother to see if i can clear my head.

My question today is :- is must be normal to be feeling more and more anxious as the time becomes nearer to answering bail ? I've been positive all last week but this week seem to be going to pieces again like i did at the start of this nightmare.

My husband is very understanding and is a great support I dont know what i would do without him in a practical sense as he is holding the fort single handedly in our business allowing me really to come and go as i am able to. Emotionally though i dont think he understands by distress and desparation. He is a very practical person and will only deal with worry and issues as they present themselves whereas i seem to be playing out senarios in my head.

[Browneyedgirl]

Hi J

All the feelings you have are totally normal. I am sure anyone on this forum will assure you they have either gone through or are going through the exact same emotions. Your mind is focused on the bail date and the nightmares revolve around that – if that makes sense. It is also normal to be thinking about various possible scenarios.

I know as each week progresses, I become more and more anxious about receiving any news. The OIC called this week and as soon as I heard his voice, my heart was pounding. I’m usually a very articulate person, but my words wouldn’t even come out right. Sometimes the emotion just takes over J. I can have days of real positivity regarding the evidence we have collated should this go to court, then other days I just go to pieces and start thinking about those ‘scenarios’ again.

I hope your visit to your brother helps to clear your head a little. Thinking of you and sending you strength. xx

[J&PVTHW]

Thank you Browneyegirl for your kind words yesterday, i really was having a bad day .

How are things with you?

We have heard nothing from the OIC, the last convo was well over 6 weeks ago now not sure if this is a good or bad thing.

We have collected some really good evidence which does make me think positively but am so unsure what can be used and what can not and dont want to keep badgering my sol all the time bearing in mind he is corresponding with me at the moment without payment as my son hasnt been charged.

[Faith]

I wouldn't worry about badgering the solicitor, although most evidence won't come into use until a charge comes so it might only be worth mentioning it if and when a case needs to be built.

General advice is that evidence shouldn't go to the police. If you have any doubts about whether or not it might be worth giving it to the police, this is when you must ask the solicitor. If they are agreeing to advise you pro bono for now, then they will be expecting to hear from you now and again

[J&PVTHW]

We have carried on collecting evidence to support my son as advised bt the fab members on the forum. We are under no circumstances giving anything further to the police. I feel we have given backround info initially when 'wet behind the ears' to all of this but are learning slowly how this horrid situation is played out by the police.

My solicitor is aware that we are collecting evidence to support my son if the case goes to trial.

Is it normal to hear nothing from the police for 6-8 wks before answering bail?

The officer said that he wanted in re-interview my son before the case goes to CPS BUT my son answers bail in 3 wks and we have heard nothing.

[Izzy]

Hi J,

I can't answer your question about if it's normal not to hear anything as I'm not in England, seems to be you are often re-bailed, maybe someone else can confirm
this.
We have went months now and not heard a word, so it seems to be a long process whereever you are.
Hope you've had a better day today.

[Browneyedgirl]

Hi J

How are you feeling today? I hope you had a better night’s sleep.

I don’t think there is any hard and fast rule about how often you will / should hear from police to be honest. I do however, think that keeping you wits about you, your eye on the ball and gathering as much evidence/info as you can are all positive steps to ensure all bases are covered should this proceed any further. We didn’t hear anything from the OIC for nearly 5 months until a couple of weeks ago and that was only because I kicked up a stink about the handling of the whole thing.

[fighter]

Hi J.

I think it is normal not to hear anything from the police before rebail. It was like that for my partner. He would just call his solicitor a day before or few hours before reporting for re-bail and he would be inform if it is another re-bail again and when he was charged. He knew he would be charged before coming to the station with the solicitor. Just keep on collecting and live as busy and normally as you can! I know it is challenging, but that is the most sane way to go deal with this craziness. Take care!

[Saffron]

Hi J.
Ditto what Fighter said. Quite normal not to hear, although it drives you mad. Just hang in there. You are doing so well.

[felix]

Absolutely normal to be kept in dark to very last minute. I turned up for one real (£66 rail fare as it was 10am in London and I live 90 miles away....

OIC was not there. Huge scurrying around. Waited 450 mins before a uniformed sergeant came and gave me a hand written on official form re-bail notice.

No apology. Sergeant said my solicitor would have been told I did not need to attend. I was stressed to eyeballs even though my solicitor was sure I would not be charged on that date but felt that nonetheless since OIC had not been in touch I should attend.

Turned out OIC was sick and system had broken down....

[J&PVTHW]

Thank you

Thank you all for your kind words over the weekend it really is encouraging that this is not only me in this terrible injustice system.

I have just left a message on my solicitors answer machine, i'm hoping he will ring the officer for an update.

Fighter, i also will want to be prepared for the worst if that is what is to come when my son answers bail.

I am disgusted with how my son and my family have been treated by the police but what an eye opener it has been.

I am also so shocked at how my life and outlook have changed. I feel like so much has changed that quite possibly will never ever be the same again. I have 2 of the most fabulous friends ever who have been a pillar of support to my husband and I will never ever forget the kindness and understanding they have shown to my family, never doubting my son for even a second.

On a more positive note which i feel has lifted my spirits my daughter has decided she wants my husband to adopt her (he has been 'dad' to her since the age of 2) it was such an emotional conversation where she said that she was so grateful to my husband 'dad' for working so hard to send her to private school and acknowledges the sacrifices that he has made for her.

Gosh i need something positive at the moment to look forward to.

[J&PVTHW]

Rights Fighter

I have tried today to send you a private message regarding solicitors but have been unable to do it. My solicitor is great but having read a little backround he specialises in serious crime but does not specialise in sexual offences. He is a general all rounder. Judging by the info that i have collected from this forum i do need somebody good who i have got but also a specialist in dealing with cases like ours.

Could you PM me so i can send you where i am in the country please?
I am nervous about posting where i am.