Son falsely accused of raping step sister !

[gem]

hi j
may i join in at this stage. my lap top has been broken for a few weeks so unable to post. i have been reading your posts.with interest. as far as social services are concerned they are not singling your son out, it is normal for any sexual offence accusation im afraid.that social services step in,it has happened to all of us on here.
i have nothing more really to add as the others have more or less given you exellent advice and echo what the others have said, dig deep for any info you can get your hands on that will discredit the pair. facebook, witnesses, friends, of friends. and please save for your solicitor not the police or at least make 2 copies so you can keep one
go back into previous posts if you can and get as much as you can ..sorry to find you here

[J&PVTHW]

Morning Gem

Thank you for adding to my post, i have read a lot of your previous posts which have been very beneficial to me.

Social services are not interested at this stage in speaking to my son or indeed my daughter at our family home. My son has been accused of raping his step sister numerous times yet nobody seems interested in speaking to the sister who has lived with her brother all of her life for 14 years its astonishing !! The arresting officer has said that the social services are not interested in speaking to my daughter as my son has been removed from his family home BUT when this is all over they will want to come and see if my daughter is safe when my son returns home. Surely they should have a duty of care to my daughter to come and see if she has anything to say on the subject and make a report which will no doubt support my son's case before it goes for consideration at CPS ???

My solicitor said yesterday that it is normal proceedure for the police to follow in that they are not interested in speaking to my daughter and would be deferring social services from coming to see us as the evidence that would be produced would be beneficial only to my son and not the prosecution. My daughter being the star witness.

My solicitor also told us to stop answering the calls from the arresting officer and divert him to my solicitor as the police are being very friendly to myself and my husband making believe they are on our side. Our solicitor has put us right on that !!


Has anybody else had any experience of this type of behavior from the police? You'd think that they would want to get to the truth?? Obviously not.

The appointment with the solicitor was encouraging but emotional. Based on what we know he is hoping for NFA but as you all know it is never guaranteed.

Thank you all again for your unbelievable support, you all keep me going in my fight for my son.

[Denise]

Yes I got hounded by calls from the arresting officer too
During work, on 2 nights out whilst I was driving, it was sending me insane until one day I couldn't anymore , ironically that was the week we got NFA'd

Even when I would tell her sometimes it was nt convenient to talk because people were in the office or I was in a taxi once she always said it was just a quick question

She was my best friend at the beginning then seemed to sway in their favour then towards the end seemed to believe me but by then I didn't trust her

You're lucky your solicitor is taking that chore away from you xx

[gem]

hi j
funny isnt it how the social services decide that the accused are now a risk to anyone under 18 even when they are not even convicted ..i have a house full of young girls under 18 all my grandaughters who would fiercely defend my son .
but they were not interested they were all willing to stand up in court for his character ..not one of them were used ...

[J&PVTHW]

Hi Gem & Denise

I find it astounding that these people who we are supposed to look up to and trust are not interested in gaining the truth.

My solicitor said that what i am experiencing from the police and social services is not uncommon. From the lovely people i have met on this forum it is common throughout the country. I really feel like 'when not if ' this is all over (thinking positive today) i want to sell everything and emergrate abroad. I'm ashamed to be British if this is the treatment we dish out to innocent people.

Please tell me i am not going mad ??

The other thing i wanted to ask is : i have a select few who are aware of my situation with my son, but i have found it increasingly difficult to speak to 1 as the thing she keeps saying is 'pull yourself together, there is no point worrying about something that is out of your hands then followed by i know how you feel !! I find it patronising to say these things when only if you HAVE been through this do you have any idea what somebody is going through. I am now finding i want to avoid contact with people for fear of arguements.

Thank you again to you kind people who seem to be getting me through my nightmare. xx

[Denise]

You're def not going mad, unless I've gone mad with you

I didn't tell friends, no one, unless they've been through this will ever have any idea what it's like
One brother kept telling me not to panic and the other forgot it was going on !

I found not telling anyone better for me

I'm also sick of contributing to a system where only certain types gain from it
Xx

[gem]

hi j
unfortunately this will happen im afraid. i have a very large family 4 sisters and 4 brothers. i used to go away with my sisters for weekends when my husband worked away..i was very close to them and only mildly close to my brothers, sometimes i never seen my brothers for months on end..but when my son was convicted everything changed. one of my sisters stated to me they don,t convict innocent people. but she is so narrow minded anyway i let this go over my head, she or any of my sisters never attended the trial so they never knew what was said or the lies that were allowed to be smoothed over by our defence team. when that girl took the stand. all my grandaughters attended as well as my sons 2 ex girlfriends my own daughter and son, 3 of my accused sons mates and myself and husband .they know the truth and i am glad his mates came because they at least put everyone straight round the area. my brothers were very supportive. but my other 2 sisters just never seemed to listen to me when i wanted to talk about it. in fact i can honestly say im sure they started to avoid me. they were sick of my sobs and anger, they just didnt understand my torment. 1 close friend rang me and offered support the other one never even rang me. i bumped into her the other day at the docs, her excuse was... i didnt know what to say to you... but you know what i don,t give a toss ..now you certainly find out who your friends are and family.i have my own daughter and sons loads of grandchildren and i am blessed with good neighbours who support us. me and hubby now retired spend loads of weekend breaks with each other now, we don,t need anyone else. so my advice is to bugger the lot of them. cherish your loved ones they matter the most ............

[J&PVTHW]

I find myself getting angry at society guys and withdrawing from everything that is familiar to me.

My brothers have been a huge support network for me 1 has turned detective. They are continually offering their support on almost a daily basis. My sister on the other hand hasnt rung me once to ask how we are coping or offer any support. When i do see her on ocassions at my parents house i find it difficult to speak to her without getting angry. I dont although wish to argue with her so feel it would be best to withdraw from most.

Thank you Denise, i think you will relate to me feeling like i am going mad. I am feeling things i have never experienced in my life so am trying to analise if this is normal behaviour. I am also feeling extremely tired all of the time. I have a headache most days and am teary.

Gem You have hit it on the nail yet again - I am cuccooning (not sure if i spelt it right) my family up from the outside world. My son told his girlfriend even though my husband and i suggested this was not the thing to do and it blew up in his face. She told her parents who instantly stopped his girlfriend from seeing him stating there is no smoke without fire.

I have 1 couple who i have been friends with for over 15 years who have been a pillar of strenght to me and my husband. They ring or text on a daily basis to see how we are doing and they are the only people apart from my brother who i feel i can be comfortable with if that makes any sense to you.

Again, thank you guys for keeping me sane !!!

[Denise]

I kept my full time job going
Not by choice but by how my boss would've made me feel if I took time off

He was bad enough when I slipped a disc

I don't know how I did it, I'm shattered now from the months of stress xx

[J&PVTHW]

The police officer have said that they want to re-interview my son before the case if handed over to CPS to put further questions to him from statements that have been collected is this usually the line that the police go down?

We have not been told when this is likely to happen but my son's bail date is April. I'm not familiar with how long CPS take to decide on a case but the officer has told me that my son is unlikely to get re-bailed he will either be charged or NFA'd.

[Denise]

The police officer have said that they want to re-interview my son before the case if handed over to CPS to put further questions to him from statements that have been collected is this usually the line that the police go down?

We have not been told when this is likely to happen but my son's bail date is April. I'm not familiar with how long CPS take to decide on a case but the officer has told me that my son is unlikely to get re-bailed he will either be charged or NFA'd.

As you know we got to NFA stage and I got called a lot for more questions
Weird because they never called my son but I was the one with all the dates details etc in my head

Remember I'm inexperienced but I think this could be that they don't have a lot to go on
What does your solicitor say ?

There is no rule with the length of time for CPS to decide
In our case CPS got the paperwork Xmas week and NFAd feb 24, and asked for lots more info in the process xx

[J&PVTHW]

Morning Denise, how are you today?

The Police officer has never once rung and spoken to my son always me or my husband strangely enough.
The police officer has told my husband not my son that they would like to question my son further before the case goes to CPS so as to put questions to him what 'others' have stated in their statement. Is this re-interview likely to be agressive?


Are you saying Denise that the CPS ask questions while the case is being considered?? I have not been told this, but if that is the case then fantastic as long as i am not giving evidence which i will be relying on if this goes to court.

I have taken on board the fantastic advise i have been given on this forum and have become my own detective. I have not handed over any further evidence, saving it incase this case ever comes to court. Is this the right move or do i give it to CPS ?? My worry is that i will have to give any evidence to the Police officer in charge who i feel is not impartial to the case.

Denise, i draw strength everyday from your story and hope that i can be as strong as you were for my son. You are my insperation !!

[Denise]

Morning Denise, how are you today?

The Police officer has never once rung and spoken to my son always me or my husband strangely enough.
The police officer has told my husband not my son that they would like to question my son further before the case goes to CPS so as to put questions to him what 'others' have stated in their statement. Is this re-interview likely to be agressive?


Are you saying Denise that the CPS ask questions while the case is being considered?? I have not been told this, but if that is the case then fantastic as long as i am not giving evidence which i will be relying on if this goes to court.

I have taken on board the fantastic advise i have been given on this forum and have become my own detective. I have not handed over any further evidence, saving it incase this case ever comes to court. Is this the right move or do i give it to CPS ?? My worry is that i will have to give any evidence to the Police officer in charge who i feel is not impartial to the case.

Denise, i draw strength everyday from your story and hope that i can be as strong as you were for my son. You are my insperation !!

I always gave the police what they were after but that was through fear and naivity , members on here advised otherwise

If you have a solicitor run everything through them first, at least then the police will know you're thorough and appear to know your stuff

I was like putty in their hands

Yes in our case CPS kept asking arresting officer for more info, like school reports and doctors records etc

Members told me to take this as a positive as their stories were obviously shady even to CPS

I didn't ever feel strong, I felt so weak I struggled to cope with it all but when you look around at everyday women who break down because their food shopping didn't turn up on time or their dinner got burnt you realise that you are indeed a tougher cookie than you could've ever imagined

You're doing great and you're fighting for your sons future you deserve so much credit for that ((hugs)) xx

[Saffron]

Please, if you have anything that might help your son's defence, do not give it to the police. As Denise said, run it past your sol in the first instance. Give him/her copies, and keep further copies/originals in a safe place - NOT in your home. Possibly with a friend or relative who is supportive.

I know this sounds paranoid, but the police have been known to "lose" evidence that is helpful to the defence. Like everyone else here, we were naively trusting that Plod would do a fair, even-handed investigation. Unfortunately they are only really interested in proving the "victim's" side of the story and they will at best overlook anything that proves she is lying. At worst they will hide/lose/not disclose it.

With regard to what others have said about friends and relatives during this time....well, to look on the bright side, this is when you discover who your friends truly are. We lost a couple of close friends through our ordeal. On the other hand, a couple of people who were mere acquaintances are now very firmly in the "friends" bracket. If someone can't stand by your side in your hour of need, they are not your friend.

[J&PVTHW]

Hi Saffron
Thank you for your advice which is spot on, my solicitor has told me NOT to give the arresting officer any evidence which we have been able to collect as they are not interested in my son only the 'victim'.

I have a few friends who have been my rock during all of this who have become even closer friends as a result of their continued support. I have one couple in particular who have been outstanding. As you stated, you really do find out who your friends are at times like these ....

I stated to Denise that the police want to interview my son again BEFORE the file goes to CPS to 'put to him some of the things people have said in statements' are you familiar with this? I would have thought that they have already interviewed him and arrested him already why would they need to again?? He firmly denied everything that was put to him, his solicitor saying he did extremely well given his age and inexperience.

Thank you again for your support, i really really wouldnt know where i would be if it wasnt for this site.