Need help bad :(

[upsidedownsmiley]

Hello Everyone, Hope you're all well! Me, Not so much... Sorry my story might be fairly long, will try to keep it short!

December 7th, me being 18, I had 3 girl's come round my house while my mother was at work, I kind of knew these girl's from around the area, had no idea how old they were but suspected atleast 1 was under 16. One of these girl's constantly asked me to go to the shop to buy her backi all the time beforehand, I'm pretty sure she had a crush on me aswell. I usualy said no, however gave in a couple times to keep her from annoying me. It got worse when I broke up with my girlfriend. She came knocking on my door all the time asking me to do it, however on this day she came with her 2 friends. I went to the shop, came back, gave her the fags and she insisted that I stayed outside my door with them. I said it was too cold but went upstairs to get MY backi, by the time I came down, she and her friends had let themself in... I let them into the frontroom where we sat and had a couple smokes. Then then started asking me for backi, and offering me sexual favours, nothing major at first, just kissing, then they were asking how many fags i'd give them if they touched my penis or masturbated me. I didn't reply and they done it anyway. I got a little carried away and ended up touching their boobs. I didn't touch them down below or anything. The girl's carried on and started saying they would give me a blowjob for backi, which never happened. The girls were making a mess in my front room, I asked them to leave and they never did, they were being noisy and aggressive ect... Eventually they left.

On Dec 12th 2011, I was arrested on 4 charges, 2x Sexual assult on a girl under 16 not reasonably beleiving she was 16+ with a girl aged 15 and 13 for the other girl and 2 counts of attempted penetration of the mouth with a persons penis again with 15yo and 13yo. I havent entered pleas and have spent 2 months in prison.
The females are now harrasing my family, including my nan who still lives in the area and is an OAP. They are bullying my cousin, getting on busses and laughing about being "raped". Telling everybody about it ect... Trying to get my sister (16) arrested. And made us move out of the area.

I need advice majorly, and I also need an idea of what my sentance could be? Any idea's?

Appriciate it, thanks. If you need anymore info, lemme know.

[Casehardened]

Good morning and welcome to the forum,

You have been commendably honest about what has happened between you and the girls and I am guessing that you were when you were interviewed by the police; hence being remanded in custody.

If you have admitted the offences to the police and have said that you suspected that least one girl was under 16 then I fear that you will go down for this; the law leans heavily on sexual offences against minors.

Your solicitor should put forward in mitigation that there is not much difference in age between you and the 'victims' (who were extremely stupid and provocative but this is bye the bye) and that there was no force or coercion on your part.

It is good that you are being realistic and expecting a sentence. Knowing what has happened and what you have admitted you will get an idea of the sentencing range from the following document: (It's quite lengthy!)

http://sentencingcouncil.judiciary.g...esAct_2003.pdf

PS. This forum is for those falsely accused of sexual offences rather than those who have actually committed them i.e. the 'victims' have lied and made up stories about what happened; At the best other members may not reply to your post; at the worst you may well get some flak for your admissions.

I don't want to delete your post immediately but if you feel you are in the wrong place or get too much aggravation please say and one of the mods will do this for you

[RFLH]

A hard lesson to learn - no moralising from me - I can remember (just!) how I was at that age.

I think it would be wise to read the advise Casehardened has given you and then get the thread deleted as I fear you will be flamed.

Good luck, I think you are going to need it.

[Saffron]

A hard lesson indeed.
You know that you have behaved foolishly, so I won't moralise about that. We all make mistakes - yours will have a serious knock-on effect on your life. From what you say it sounds as though you were, to a certain extent, coerced into sexual activity by these girls.
Casehardened's advice is good.
Have you been released from prison now?
I would also suggest that you ask anyone who overhears these girls "laughing and joking about being raped" to make formal statements to your solicitor. Your Nan and family members should keep a diary of incidents and also hand that to your solicitor.

[gem]

i think the first thing you should do is tell the police about the harrasment your family is recieving from the family this is very serious . as for the girls well im not going to go into how these girls have behaved towards you. you are still only 18 and got a lot to learn regarding the law regarding minors ......
i think the best you can do at this stage is get your family to get as much info as they can on these girls for your defence. as i presume this will be going to trial now.

[Faith]

I am assuming you will be pleading guilty to the offences? This should get you a lighter sentence and will avoid a trial. If you haven't denied these allegations (most of which seem to be at least half-true, hence there is a little discomfort about you being ehre) in interview then your best option is just to admit your guilt, learn a hard lesson, take the punishment and then move on with your life.

The advice above is good...mitigations such as the small age difference and the coercion on the girls' part (for while they are underage it sounds as if they knew EXACTLY what they were doing)

Your cousin should report the bullying to the police...that way it is on police record. Others who witnessed the behaviour should also give statements. Anything in that shows what kind of girls these are may have a chance of lessening your punishment.

The two months you have spent on remand should also be taken off your eventual sentence.

In this case, it seems like you need to be fully frank, honest and show complete remorse. It is not ALL your fault, but you have been incredibly stupid, it must be said. You will learn a hard lesson from this experience.

You say that the oral sex did not happen yet you have been charged with attempted oral penetration. Your post said that 'it did not happen' not that you didn't want it to. Can you clarify whether you actually tried to initiate anything like this. If you didn't then this is effectively a false allegation. If you did, then the charge is accurate and you should hold your hands up to it.

I hope that your post here does not bring the forum and what it stands for in disrepute. You are by no means fully guilty...but you are far less innocent than what it's intended for.

It's to your credit that you are open and honest however and so long as you are not here seeking ideas to get away with offences you HAVE committed then I'm sure forum members shouldn't be offended. Please bear in mind that many members of the forum are victims of sexual abuse.

[LS]

they would give me a blowjob for backi, which never happened.

There's the false accusation. He's been accused of oral sex, which didn't happen anyway.

ps All members - NO FLAMING will be tolerated.

[Faith]

Was he not accused of attempted oral sex? OP might be able to clarify whether he meant oral sex never happened at all...or it never went as far as full oral sex?

I do believe youre right LS...these girls have painted a very different picture from what actually happened. I certainly wouldn't class them as 'victims' in any way...especially because of the way they have behaved since.

[lawlessone2009]

'Attempted Oral Sex'... Now there is a new one for me! That could be very very open to interpretation!

I am assuming that the charges are broken into four seperate charges? If that is the case then I would imagine your solicitor will advise clearly which ones you should plead guilty too and which ones your should plead not guilty too. Obviously depending on what they have alleged and what you have admitted will determine what you plead too.

It wouldn't be unheard off for the Police to realise that they have 'caught one' and then start lumping on the charges. Their interpretations can vary too!

Your solicitor can discuss before hand your intentions with the CPS and see if they are willing to accept guilty pleas to some of the charges and not guilty to others. It's not a plea bargain more an understanding.

You being young and within close(ish) ages with the girls involved I would imagine you will receive slightly more lenient sentencing than an older bloke in the same position. Early pleas will also reduce this.

You will be in danger though when you go to the young offenders prison. You will need to ensure that you are able to express your accusation in a manner which doesn't result in someone doing you harm. I would advise on 'serious assault' rather than anything hinting at 'sexual'. Vulnerable persons are generally identified as targets too so be aware that any changes in your status will need to ring alarm bells to you for you to be extra careful.

I am of the opinion that everyone is young once and makes mistakes. I am not going to flame you... I am sure that most people could be willing to help with advice on limiting sentencing (jail will be hard enough even for a few months or a year odds!) by pleading to the correct charges and putting forward some decent mitigation.

It could even be the case that you simply haven't conveyed your story to us in the correct manner, it happens, and we've started assuming things.

It's going to be a super hard lesson to learn! From what you've said so far RAPE has nothing to do with your situation so for the girls involved to be shouting it could be taken as libelous. You need others to start reporting their interactions with those involved.

[Saffron]

These girls certainly sound predatory and mature wayyy beyond their years.
As far as I understand, the OP was only just 18. Legally speaking, he is an adult, but actually he is still a very young person.

There is a huge difference between submitting to a "hand job" and touching a girl's breasts and trying to force them to have oral sex.

I hope the OP comes back, because he sounds like many many teenagers who have been co-erced into sexual activity without realising the full ramifications.

[gem]

this is so true regarding the age problem.
2 years ago thier was a young boy not far from us who did go to prison..
he was 18 and the girl was 14.it was a case of boyfriend girlfriend.her parents found out they were having consensual sex and reported him to the police .he was charged with rape because of her age. he simply did not know he was breaking the law because of her age if it was consentual ...and im sure thier are a lot more young men that don,t know this either ...
as to these girls they sound very dangerous to me .it is bad enough getting charged with sexual assault on a minor. attempted oral penetration is a new one on me..... sex offenders are not mixed with general prisoners in prison. they are kept on protection..

[Saffron]

When I was 14 I started going out with a 16 year old lad. He was kind, gentle, intelligent and compassionate.
We had consenual sex when I was 15 and he was 17. We had been in a loving relationship for over 10 months. I was a virgin before this, as was he, although we had indulged in what the swimming pool posters would call "heavy petting."
He never ever pressured me to "do it". I suggested it, and we did our best to make the occasion special with candles, closed curtains and a romantic atmosphere. Unfortunately it was a bit of a disappointment for me (in that it was a bit messy and clumsy and painful and I didn't achieve the "heights of pleasure" my novels had promised me!)
IF I was the same sort of low-life as these girls I could easily have gone to the police and claimed I had been raped.

They are predators on this lad.

[lawlessone2009]

Sex offenders may be kept seperate but it doesn't stop one 'type' of sex offender deciding to carve up another 'type'. Some people decide to differentiate themselves from others on various grounds from ages to seriousness etc.

Being careful and not being too open with information is all that I am recommending. At such a young age there are many lessons still to be learned and if he was to go to jail that is a brutal enough learning curve without having an idiotic fellow prisoner deal out some personal justice due to whatever their warped minds believe.

I am being extreme of course but, as the old saying goes, better to be safe than sorry.

Obviously if the OP comes back on and shares some more of his thoughts then we can be of a some more assistance. Many unanswered queries so far.

[felix]

I beleive, and have good case history to believe, that there is a huge range of police attitudes to this offence. I am aware of consensual penetrative sex occurring between 17 year old lads and 15 year old girls which is fine until something goes wrong, like an outraged mum of the girl reports it as rape (to safe her honour) - to the school or to the police. Then the school / police have to act. The consequences are arrest for the lad and a range of outcomes from a night in the cells and a ticking off a few weeks later, all the way to a custodial sentence.

The poster's story does not seem, IMHO, to ring quite true, particularly the remand bit, if he is only just 18 and his recollection of events is correct. I am not suggesting he is lying, but I am confused. I suppose the difference between this case and the ones I know of is that here the girls are accusing him of rape or some variant or it rather than, in the cases of which I am aware, the girls is sticking by her boyfriend, or at least saying it was consensual.

This is an absolute minefield....

None of this deflects from the poster having behaved unwisely (as do many many young men in various ways) and I do have huge huge sympathy, but I do think two months remand seems very harsh given the story as presented?

[Saffron]

Re: the YOI (Young Offenders Institute) or Borstal as it used to be known....

Unlikely that the OP would go to one, as he is overage, and in the eyes of the law, an adult. Regardless, life in a YOI or even in a "main" prison is not what it was 10 or 20 years ago. Lawlessone, perhaps you have watched "Scum" or "Shawshank"?!

Nowadays if people convicted of a sex crime are imprisoned they are kept in a separate wing from The Main. They are offered protection from other prisoners. See the sticky about this for further info. Yes, some prisoners do get assaulted and some do manage to kill themselves, but these occurences are thankfully rare.

I used to have exactly the same fears for Mr Saffron when he was away. If he couldn't phone me for a day or two I would be completely paranoid, imagining him bleeding and broken in the showers in a Midnight Express type way. Thankfully none of the scenarios that constantly flew round my head actually happened.

He kept his head down and politely declined any propositions of that nature that happened to come his way. He was polite and respectful to the screws, and treated his fellow cons pretty much as they treated him, which was fairly and reasonably civilly, regardless of their convictions. A few people tried to give him a hard time, but he faced them down.

At the end of the day, prisoners are on "The Rule" because they would be in danger on "The Main". Therefore they have far more to lose by assaulting a fellow inmate than if they were Main Prisoners.
Upsidedownsmiley, please don't be too scared.