What do we do now

[Faith]

Devastated, you are being very strong.
Try (It's very hard) to avoid reading too many horror stories. These can be very frightening.

I can totally understand your views on the future of your relationship too. You WILL never forget it and there must be conditions...but right now your focus should be on getting the injustice out of the way...so you can decide what justice should be served for the infidelity.

Take Care

[Mumsinastate]

His only real crime is being a bloke there heads are easily turned take what you feel and times it by 200 and you might be close to how he feels about treating you this way and what's happening to him not that I'm saying cheating is bad enough but he don't deserve to be treated this way and I'll bet my life he won't ever do it again sending love to both of you you will get throug this and be stronger for it xxxx

[Casehardened]

but i can see where they are goin to be able to sack him he works for a decorating firm and sometimes is asked by a customer to do work on the side which he does but this is also the same for their electricians,carpenters other tradesmen they all do it but think they are goin to use this to get rid of him

Hi Devasted,

I'm no expert on employment law but I'm sure that unless this is specifically forbidden in his contract of employment he can't be instantly dismissed; he would have to be given a written warning (or two) and then still do it before he could be dismissed.

[Faith]

Even if if were the case that it were serious enough for instant dismissal, there would have to be a thorough investigation and there is an appeals procedure where he can fight the decision. Then he very well may have a case of unfair dismissal if it ever got that far.

[Devasted]

Our day just got worse hes had an email off his company saying that he is to attend a meeting on weds where they are 'thinking' of sacking him for gross misconduct on the grounds he brought the company into serious disrepute by having a 'relasionship of a flirting and sexual nature with one of their clients' theres nothing about him having a relasionship with anyone in his contract and also for 'touting for private business' which is in his contract but he can prove he didnt tout for business he was asked by the people he did work for! Also nearly everyone in his company does it.
The email has been forwarded to his solicitor who has already said that by saying he brought the company into disrespute they have already made up their minds that he is guilty the solicitor will look further into it tomorrow and let us know what the best thing is for him to do ive told him he does not go quietly as they no doubt want but to put up a fight we have talked a fair bit today and ive come to the conclusion that no matter how angry im feeling he must be so frightened so me punishing him for cheating is not goin to get us anywhere and for now i will use all my energy in being there for him and supporting him the best i can anything else can come later
Thank you for ur advice and support it has been a godsend and its a relief to know that there are people out there i can talk to.x

[Faith]

I'm sorry to hear this.

It boils down to cowardice. The company may not think your partner is guilty at all but just don't want the negative publicity and stigma that this kind of thing brings.
It's not easy to get someone out just like that if you put up a fight.
The last thing they will want is for it to go to tribunal. When they realise that you have legal advice and are planning on fighting this, it might open the option of at least getting some sort of decent settlement and the allowance for your partner to resign rather than be dismissed.

If he does get dismissed, he may well have a good case for unfair or constructive dismissal.

[Saffron]

Your partner should ALWAYS be allowed an independant witness for any disciplinary interview at work. The company should also take comprehensive and coherent minutes which he should be allowed to read after the meeting.
Why have they asked him to bring along anything that disproves the allegation? That is ridiculous! They are not a court of law!

There are certain procedures they are obliged to follow by law. First he should be given written notice of a disciplinary hearing and invited to bring along a witness. This can be a fellow employee or a trade union rep. They should inform him that there has been an allegation made against him, but they can't state that they are "thinking" of sacking him! That's outrageous! If they are4 serious hge should have been suspended on full pay until the disciplinary procedure is complete - has this happened?

At the meeting he should be told what they are alleging against him and ask him for his side of the story. They should then retire to make their decision, and inform it of him in writing. He must be informed that he has the right of appeal.

Obviously I don't know what is in the email, but the fact that they are already stating that they suspect he is guilty of gross misconduct smacks of them just trying to get rid of him.

Sorry to be so blunt, but did he have sex with the accuser on company time? (ie, were they paying him during the liaison?)

Does the company he works for have a proper HR department? Many smaller companies are notorious for messing up Employment issues and ending up in hot water!

Good luck. I know a bit about employment law, so if I can help at all let me know. (I have to stress that I am not an expert though!)

[Edit to add: Unfair Dismissal is extremely difficult to prove Constructive Dismissal is far easier. He should write a letter to the HR manager or someone unrelated to the current discplinary panel saying that he feels he is being dealth with unfairly and his position is becoming untenable. This would give you a reason to pursue a case of constructive dismissal further down the line, should that be necessary]

[lawlessone2009]

Yep, he'll win the case too.

How long has he been working for the company concerned?

It's good that you've put him before yourself. It shows such a strong character and sure cannot be easy! There is plenty time later, I agree.

Saffron is hitting nails on the head everywhere, I can't add much to that at the mo! Well done Saffron.

[Devasted]

Saffron
They suspended him on full pay last weds he recieved a letter on saturday asking him to attend a 'disiplinary investigation' meeting today no mention of him being able to take a person with him is mentioned only a warning not to contact or talk to any of their other employees at end of letter it says 'this is not a diciplinary hearing'
There is only one HR person who sat in on the meeting today
He was told after meeting that they would speak to him on thurs and let him know what was to happen but two hrs later sent email saying he was to attend another meeting weds where they were thinking of sacking him but the email does say he can bring someone and if he is he is to let them know
He was on his lunch break when he went to her flat for sex she invited him to hers for a 'coffee' anytime he wanted which he did a few times before he ended up having sex with her on the monday then nearly having sex with her following day (day she cried rape)
The HR is the bosses daughter the firm is family run

[Saffron]

The letter inviting him to a disciplinary hearing should have clearly stated that he was permitted to take a witness with him.

There may be grounds for winning a case against dismissal on the grounds of "procedural irregularity". The company should certainly have offered him the option of a witness. They should also allow him to see any statements made against him, and give him the opportunity to reply. They should NOT under any circumstances be asking him to show them "evidence" that he is innocent as this could corrupt the criminal case. They should also NEVER assume that he is guilty of the crime he has been accused of - that is NOT for them to decide!

The accusation of "bringing the company into disrepute" is often used by companies who want to get rid of an employee quickly and quietly and unfortunately many employees are not fully aware of their rights. If he has not violated the terms of his contract in any way, and the accusation has not been proven by a court of law, the company has no right to dismiss him over the rape allegation. He therefore should remain suspended on full pay until such time as the criminal investigation is concluded.

Often employees are sacked if/when they are charged. Until then (and I stress again, if he has not violated his contract of employment) he should not be sacked for Gross Misconduct. In the eyes of our "justice" system, he is innocent until proven guilty. His employers cannot sack him on the basis that he has been accused.

At the end of the day, they are holding a "court" of a kind and they should undertake it seriously and adhere to the letter of the law. They are not allowed to make up their own rules!

[Faith]

Also, you could mention that your work are prejuducing the police investigation.
They should really hold off their investigation for after the police investigation

[Devasted]

Well my partner has gone to his work meeting to find out if they are goin to sack him ( they will) ive given him loads of notes all set out with spaces for their responses in case we have a case for unfair dismissal
Ive told him not to accept gross misconduct for the alleged assault because hes not been charged with anything and certaintly not guilty of it as for the other thing of doing private work for clients told him to inform them that so does most of the workforce and their not being investigated but main thing is they never asked him if he wanted independant witness to these meetings ( only for the outcome today did they ask if he wanted one) and also they havent offered or showed him the minutes of these meetings dont think their gonna care but dont want him goi without a fight he has worked for them for nearly 4yrs without complaints of any type unlike half of their workforce have used lots of advice u have all given me on here and im gratefull for it all so is my partner.s

On a good note we spent a good day as a family yesterday and have a told a family member who although livid with my partner for cheating on me immediatley said no way is my partner capable of raping someone nd will help us in anyway he can also told him to write everything down that has happened and if he remembers anything about what she said or did he can add to it because he might have forgotten things when questioned due to him being in shock (was visibly in shock police didnt even ask if he was ok or needed to see doctor) have said he doesnt have to show me what he has written if it makes him uncomfortable that he can keep it hidden and just show to solicitor

[Devasted]

Well as thought they have sacked him! Said that the other meetings wernt disiplinaries even though it says this at top of letters so didnt need to mention he could have a representative ( said it was a mistake) also he didnt ask to see minutes of meeting so they didnt have to offer but the minutes were taken in shorthand anyway so he couldnt have read them he said they were almost aggressive in their treatment of him demanding he return his company diary( uses this to log his work hrs) not sure why they want this he refused anyway so told him he could make a copy and send it to them??
Feeling very down again even though we expected this but i suppose we best get used to how he will be treated from now on

[Saffron]

Ha! They have tripped themselves up BIG time here.
If the first meetings were not discplinary hearings, he should NOT have been sacked today. If the first "real" disciplinary hearing was today then he should still be given the right of reply to their decision, and should still be suspended, not sacked. This HR woman doesn't seem to know her 4rse from her elbow, quite frankly.
They DO have to offer him the minutes of the previous meetings. These should have been typed up and copies given to him as a matter of course.
They have even acknowledged that they DID make "a mistake" by not informing him he could have a witness! Was this meeting minuted? It most certainly should have been!
Have they informed him of his right to appeal the decision?
This is ridiculous. It smacks of unfair dismissal on the grounds of Procedural Irregularities. No Tribunal in the UK would uphold this decision.

I recommend that your OH talks to the CAB, or to ACAS. ACAS will not take sides, but they will be able to tell him what the correct procedure is in these circumstances.

Sorry if I sound aggressive with the capital letters....this has made me so cross!

He should write his (ex) employer a letter detailing their failure to adhere to the correct legal procedure. He should also state that, in the eyes of the criminal case he is innocent until proven guilty. This is vital if he intends to do anything about it.

Let me know if you need further details. My hubby took his employers to a Tribunal after he was sacked and my sister is an HR Manager for a big international bank, so I am reasonably clued-up about what should and shouldn't have happened.

[Devasted]

Thanx saffron
He mentioned the minutes of the meeting today and she said he didnt ask for them but he noticed that the minutes were in shorthand! So he couldnt have read them anyway
Ive written everything down and will be writing letter tomorrow requesting copies of the minutes and stating where we think they have done things wrong they informed him he can appeal 'if ur up to it' were their words
We are trying to decide wether we have the energy to fight this though as well as the rape accusation feeling really down and depressed at moment but my partner is doing his best to stay positive so im goin to have to try and do the same
Im up beat and positive one minute and crying and depressed the next think im goin nuts sometimes just want it over but have another two months of waiting before they decide to charge him or not
Was good to read some positive outcomes today