Sick of Hearing the word RAPE

[tiftaf]

I am sick of hearing the word rape. Today we got the statements against my partner and I am totally drained. The lies are just laughable and I did my statement earlier for the defence. The thing is, I had real momentum earlier and now I have just had enough. We have been dissecting these statements for hours. It's involved every member of my partners family ringing and giving their chunk of defence material. How this is wrong, that's wrong, this cant be right that cant be right. I know my partner wants to build his defence but this all started at 10am and it's now 21:20 and I am drained. I dont think I can listen to any more and I am getting pissed off and irritable which then makes me feel guilty and unsupportive. There are only so many baths I can take to escape it all. At this rate I will have no skin cells left.

I keep feeling like I am going to start crying but I think it's with sheer frustration. Normally I am very vocal but I feel like I can't be. i want to tell him to just pack it in but then I know he wants to carry on and I dont want to interrupt and seem mean. It's really doing my head in. I cant go out because we are at some bloody bail address that's miles away in a house that's freezing so we are stuck in a bedroom together. He is lovely dont get me wrong but right now, I just want him to SHUT UP and I want a stiff vodka or twenty!

Happy Saturday night eh? lol Hope yours is going better than mine.

PS: Then he wonders why I drink!!!! lmao

[Mumsinastate]

I know what you mean it's like it has taken over your whole life we don't talk about it much me and my son but it's in my every waking thought just can't get it all out of my head if I started drinking I would never stop happy days xx

[Faith]

This thread would be more at home in the Discussion About False Allegations...

You are posting this in an area where people come for support when they have been victim to rape/sexual assault.
Hopefully a mod will see this and move it

[Casehardened]

You are posting this in an area where people come for support when they have been victim to rape/sexual assault.
Hopefully a mod will see this and move it

Done, well spotted!

[fighter]

. Today we got the statements against my partner and I am totally drained. The lies are just laughable and I did my statement earlier for the defence. The thing is, I had real momentum earlier and now I have just had enough. We have been dissecting these statements for hours. It's involved every member of my partners family ringing and giving their chunk of defence material. How this is wrong, that's wrong, this cant be right that cant be right. I know my partner wants to build his defence but this all started at 10am and it's now 21:20 and I am drained. I dont think I can listen to any more and I am getting pissed off and irritable which then makes me feel guilty and unsupportive.

tiftaf, it is normal to be fed up with it as it has been almost 12 hours!! but these statements being laughable are good for the case! wait till you meet with the solicitor and partner has to make his own statement against those statements; it will be another tough day;when my partner did it, after the solicitor left I was too drained, my head was about to blow out, I asked him that we take a drive and visit one of his friends. It can be too much; but after that it would be less stressful.

Hope you are having a good sunday.

[tiftaf]

Another Day in the Big Brother House of Rape

Well, today we did Tafs defence. We saw the statements from the alleged victim. I have spent 6 hours typing it all up. I wanted to do this obviously. He kept going on saying you have been typing for hours but he is my gorgeous babe and I told him so. Draining is not the word. So glad we did it so I am now feeling happy. Tired, but happy. He has 17 points of defence at 14 I made him stand up and hug me and give me a high five. Lol. I love him so much. This lying ***** does not stand a chance against the tiftaf corner..Buzzing now and making the most of feeling happy because I know this situ makes you suddenly crash and holding on to positiveness can suddenly elude you. So, we are going for a takeaway, he will get cuddles and kisses and a tickle and all will be well.

[fighter]

well done for that Tiftaf. And yes do hold on to that happy feeling! :-) it will be a roller coaster of emotion and when you are on top enjoy the most of it! It is good you have come up with the defense statement. However, the solicitor may ask for more. I remember the solicitor ask some more questions beyond addressing the different statements to create a bigger picture of the whole story. Like when did the relationship with the ex started; how was it in the beginning; relationship with other members; incidents that may have triggered the event, etc. etc; which is helpful in understanding possible motivations.

Enjoy the take away. You both deserve a reward for that hard work; definitely you are prepared to fight that liar!! Hugs!!!

[lawlessone2009]

Sounds good!

Well done you two.

I get my statements on Thursday, looking forward to an end to the pointless questions and the beginning of action!

Hopefully my partner can be as supportive as you!

Doubt it as all she's done so far is blame me for the allegation...

[Faith]

The fact that she is still there for you is supportive in itself.
You can't really judge her too harshly for feeling some anger at you but once your fight starts properly, it will probably subside.
All she's able to do at the moment is dwell.

[Amre]

Hey, I Was going your other post to see if i could get a handle on this. Am I correct that you and this man have been lovers for 3 years? Then late last year he married into an arranged marriage? Be careful with this and don't be advertising the fact that you were his lover during his marriage. Don't even mention that this was a "marriage of convenance" to anyone. That's illegal.

Sham marriages for visas can carry quite a bit of trouble and the last thing he needs is to get charged by the UK Border Agency and end up in jail for that too. Was the Visa for him or her? Did his family pull her chance of a visa and that sparked this? Either way, mouth shut and your an old friend of the family.

On to the rape charge. Did he sleep with her when she was his wife? If not then they will have no dna, if so they might have. Is she in the uk?

[Faith]

I'd be very cautious about being dishonest. Lies have a bad habit of biting you on your backside and can make the whole thing a lot worse.

[fighter]

Hey, I Was going your other post to see if i could get a handle on this. Am I correct that you and this man have been lovers for 3 years? Then late last year he married into an arranged marriage? Be careful with this and don't be advertising the fact that you were his lover during his marriage. Don't even mention that this was a "marriage of convenance" to anyone. That's illegal.

Sham marriages for visas can carry quite a bit of trouble and the last thing he needs is to get charged by the UK Border Agency and end up in jail for that too. Was the Visa for him or her? Did his family pull her chance of a visa and that sparked this? Either way, mouth shut and your an old friend of the family.

On to the rape charge. Did he sleep with her when she was his wife? If not then they will have no dna, if so they might have. Is she in the uk?

just wondering about arranged marriage being a marriage of convenience.. it usually is in reality . In fact, being here in the UK is one criteria that would be a plus factor to the marriage and it would have been acknowledged. I dont think it equals to sham marriage of UK border agency definition. I might be wrong. I have a friend whose marriage was arranged and she agreed to it because it is her parents wish. I guess it goes the same for tiftaf's partner?

But you are right Amre, this angle can be used by the prosecution side Sorry maybe I am wrong. Dont want to stress you tiftaf; but it is a good point.

[Saffron]

As far as I know, arranged marriages are not illegal as long as both parties fully consent and are not under duress.
Marrying someone in order to obtain a visa is illegal though. I think Tiftaf's point was that her man is a UK resident and his wife was not - he married her under duress from his and her family.
Not sure whether this would count in his favour or not, to be honest. Others may have more info.

[fighter]

Thanks Saffron. My friend got married in India and then they move to the man's work country. yes, it is more clear that because the guy is here already, marrying him would give the "wife" a visa".