Husband who is innocent has been charged today..am freaking out...please advise!

[Faith]

Fighter is right, now is the time to get as much information as possible. ANY evidence that even has a smallest of chances of being useful, get it. You don't want to regret it later.
I'd say take the risk but only you know truly as you know how much you trutst this friend.

And fighter, I see you're as much of an insomniac as I am

[gem]

hi AG ask your friend if ny of her hubbys friends have her added on facebook.might be worth a shot looking on her wall see what she been saying lately.
or around the time of the incident.
it has brought several skeletons out the cupboard in our quest
and get all thr info you can about her from your friends aquaintances

[fighter]

I echo gem's suggestion. Hopefully the girl's profile is public and you can find relevant information. Take screenshots if you saw something and print it too at once before they get deleted. Give this information to the solicitor.

[Amre]

Did you play the tape yet? Older cars have them, play it and recored it with your mobile.
I can see why you want to take charge and be at all the meetings, but you need to step back and let him deal with this himself. Support and advice yeah, but you can't take responsibility for questions and keeping him right. He needs to keep himself right, you cannot speak for him at all. I understood when you said it was frustrating to hear him on the phone leaving bits out - that would bug me too. But he needs to get used to talking about details, remembering facts and have the time line clear in his head. It does no good you knowing all this because HE is the one that will stand up in court, not you. This will do more harm in the long run and if he can't articulate himself towards a sol with clarity he needs to work on it. Sit back and let him do the talking and don't speak for him, remember the bits he left out and deal with that at home until he gets it.

I think its unfair to blame the girl or call her evil. She may well believe that he raped her. If, as you say, she was on both drink and drugs then it may be the case that she was unable to consent. Well, thats how I'd put it if i was her barrister. He may well believe that he had her full consent. So he needs to take the blame for this too, not just her. It will come down to her word against his and he needs to make dam sure he knows exactly what happened, when and how. He needs to come across well and you can just hope she trips herself up with lies.

Good luck to you xx

[fighter]

He needs to keep himself right, you cannot speak for him at all. I understood when you said it was frustrating to hear him on the phone leaving bits out - that would bug me too. But he needs to get used to talking about details, remembering facts and have the time line clear in his head. It does no good you knowing all this because HE is the one that will stand up in court, not you. This will do more harm in the long run and if he can't articulate himself towards a sol with clarity he needs to work on it.

This is a good point by Amre. AG's husband should be able to articulate himself as he would have to do that in the trial. He has to be really alert, strong, and can stand alone in front of the jury. I guess next in the agenda is to make him more confident about it and be clear in what he says.

My partner tend to talk a lot before answering directly or talking fast when we talk to the solicitor; so I would squeeze his hand if he is running away in some direction. It is hard to be really quite clear and concise, when you are angry> It takes some practice:-) and we are there as observer and this is again one way of being supportive.

After a meeting with the solicitor we would discuss things; what could have been said or how it could have been said; and would take note what we missed out. I know we tend to over analyse things but it was one of our ways of coping also. :-) But AG, the most important thing is only you know your husband so it is your call how to be supportive to him; you can just filter things that would be helpful. This is just like being pregnant and everybody has an advise for the pregnant lady! :-)

[Absolutely gutted]

Thanks for all the great advice - but some things are decided for you..hubby haf his magistrates court hearing today and we have to wait for 70 DAYS for the disclosure of all the evidence from CPS. They say they are short of staff at the moment - is that normal to take that long?
His first Crown Court hearing is on 2 May so before the disclosure! And his solicitor only got the statement from CPS seconds before the hearing...they have only used one witness statement and have left all the other statements out - solicitor said that they will not use anything that could weaken their case, so annoyed right now. But solicitor is really positive and said she's dealt with more difficult and cases before and he should be fine which is good I guess.
And hubby decided to NOT have me with him when he meets with his solicitor for the first time....he says he feels awkward going into all the details of the night when I'm sitting right next to him and solicitor actually supported his decision saying he might not talk openly about the whole thing when I'm there....well fair enough..I guess I just have to go with whatever he wants.

[Absolutely gutted]

trial starts in 5 days....

hello...I haven't been posting here in a while, I wasn't really contributing much but everytime I go online there's another sad story...
I'm beginning to freak out, trial is starting monday and I want to be there to support my husband but:

I was not at the meeting with barrister/solicitor to go through details of allegations because they feared husband would be ashamed and not go into details and be completely honest with them (which I can understand, so I stayed away)...I can only imagine that they would give hte same advise for being at trial.

I'm really scared, now that trial is approaching so fast after over 12 months of waiting...I was fine during Christmas but I'm beginning to get so emotional now..worrying that what we have to defend him is not enough..my husband did get three very good references though of which at least one is going to be used at trial (probably his boss/friend, a female).
My mood swings horribly from fighting mood to giving up mood...I just don't know how it will turn out and this uncertainty that there's a chance he might end up in prison is killing me:-(
Nothing new I know and u've heard it all before but I think it helps me to just write it down cause I'm just a big mess right now..

[Faith]

If it helps, you write and rant as much as you like hon

It's a very scary situation and I know that there is nothing we can say to nullify that horrible twisted feeling in your gut.
You stand strong though, as you have been doing throughout this...look how far youve come and remember what you are fighting for.

It is much harder to stick to lies and not be caught out on the stand than it is if you are telling the truth. Immediately, your partner has the upper hand here, because he is telling the truth.

In terms of practical advice, ensure your partner dresses smartly, is polite, appears self confident but not cocky, looks at the jury (not stares but holds eye contact for a small while) when he addresses them, speaks clearly and slowly and only answers the questions he is asked of him.

Will you be taking the stand at any point?
Stay Strong. Whatever happens there's a solution. Justice prevails more often than not, statistically.

[Absolutely gutted]

Faith, thanks for your advise, I'm so glad that there are people here that are/have been in this same insane situation...fortunately, I won't have to take the stand as I was not involved in the case in any way and being his wife sadly cannot provide character reference...I would still like to go though and I think I will even if barrister/sol advise against it, I just don't want him to be alone up there

[Faith]

If you go, Id advise taking someone with you to support you, hold your hand. Be prepared to hear nasty things from the other side, the first couple of days can always seem more hopeless because it is the prosecutions turn to deliver their case.

Remember, the jury is made up of 12 human beings. More often than not, they're more switched on than they might look

[Absolutely gutted]

thanks faith, I will do that:-)..I put all my faith in the jury and hope that barrister and the friends who will give character reference will convince them of his innocence.
the solicitor doesn't really want to say how it could turn out, she keeps saying it's who the jury will believe bc it's down to her word against husband's...I guess she (sol) doesn't want to install false hope..

[Faith]

thanks faith, I will do that:-)..I put all my faith in the jury and hope that barrister and the friends who will give character reference will convince them of his innocence.
the solicitor doesn't really want to say how it could turn out, she keeps saying it's who the jury will believe bc it's down to her word against husband's...I guess she (sol) doesn't want to install false hope..

Yes, a good solicitor will never make promises as to outcomes. It doesn't mean they don't have faith in the case

[Absolutely gutted]

that's what I thought :-D
how soon should character references be sorted bc our solicitor received the letters last thursday which I find quite late and she hasn't confirmed yet which one/s are required to be present for trial...surely, she could have sorted this sooner so they have time to arrange for time off...

[Faith]

I'm fairly sure they can be arranged right up to the day as far as the court is concerned.
I take it the witness is attending rather than just having their statement read out? If you haven't heard anything, then contact your solicitor maybe before close of office Thursday.

[Absolutely gutted]

they will attend so they barrister can confirm in person what they've provided in written form about the character of my husband...solicitor mentioned that the letters will be given to the prosecution for CRB check or something