Don't know where to start

[buttercup]

Hi
I don't even know wot to say or how things work, I'm a single mum whose 12 yr old son has been accused of raping his 3 yr old cousin last november and was bail his home address until the 19/12/11, because i have a special needs at 17 i had to make 1 of the hardest decisions a mother can make and had to have him placed in a care home, I see him twice a week with a carer when my daughter is at home but when she is at respite then it is just us. I am so lost, scared and frightened but most of all it has split our families apart......at this moment in time a friend would be nice. Anyway thx xx

[Casehardened]

Hi Buttercup and welcome to the forum though sorry you've needed to find us.

Several members of the forum are in the same position as yourself in that their sons have been falsely accused of rape, so I am sure that they will understand the emotions that you are experiencing right now.

To help members understand the situation better, has your son been charged by the police with the offence?

[buttercup]

Not yet he is on bail again until 20/2/12 but looking at the letter from solicitor it is saying allegations against him.

[Casehardened]

Yes, I do understand now, so I'm guessing it was the social services that gave you the ultimatum of either having your son or your daughter living with you but not both.

What a terrible position to be in and I'm sure the other mothers on the forum will understand what you're going through (you may not get any replies until the morning though)

[buttercup]

Yes it was and yep started this a bit late as i was looking for info and found the site so i thought why not.......grateful to you and thx hopefully after a bit of sleep my mind might be a little clearer.......God bless and gdnite x

[Casehardened]

Good night, take care

[Faith]

buttercup, what an absolutely vile situation to find yourselves in...as a mother, this must be extremely traumatic for you and your head will be all over the place. As the adult, you will feel as if you have to be the strong one and deal with it all. You must be confused and frightened for the future. I am glad that you found us, but sad that you needed to. You will find a huge group of supportive people here who can offer emotional and legal support. A great deal of us here have either endured false allegations or been affected by sexual crime...everyone who speaks to you will have lived through some sort of experience.
The comfort to take from that is that we all get through it eventually...and we are all here for eachother when the times feel the toughest.
Please come here whenever you need support and you will find some.

Where did this allegation come from? The three year old cousin herself or a parent/guardian/carer? And what will the case be when your daughter turns 18 (have I read it right, your daughter is 17?) Will social services allow your son to come home? How have the police treated your son so far?

[buttercup]

I am still a little unsured of the few hours before he was arrested, so please bear with me and i will try to explain but shortly, he had done a sleep over at his friends house and was due bk to me about 6ish, between 6-8 he was wiv the family of the accused (but was not aloud at the house he was banned ) bout 19;55pm he phone to say they were going to the hospital, she was examined and the doctors called the police and he was arrested from the uncles car no adult was with him until i got there at 21:15 and he had already been fingerprinted and clothes and phone taken away. I was met by a little frightened boy in green overalls.
He is on his 2nd bail now this being the longer 1.........she had a video screening done and again from wot the social worker has said that it was so explicted .......i am sorry but how would a 3 yr old know so much but she had named him there was 3 other males around this girl including the mother, so why my son and at this time. there is so many questions i need answering. I'm not sure wot is gonna happen wiv my daughter at the mooment i av till may wen she is (18). The police have treated my son unfairly i think as i saw him sunday at 21:15 and then not again until he was bailed the following night. My son is very nosey and inquires about everything unfortunately that time he was on his own and no adult what has been asking and saying that the cps could use as a case against him. We are waiting for the foresic and rest of all that to come back.

[Casehardened]

no adult was with him until i got there at 21:15 and he had already been fingerprinted and clothes and phone taken away.

Your son shouldn't have been interviewed without an adult present but as you mentioned a solicitor in your second post hopefully he was in there with him to ensure the questioning was conducted appropriately.

Not yet he is on bail again until 20/2/12 but looking at the letter from solicitor it is saying allegations against him.

[Mumsinastate]

Buttercup this is probably the worst thing to happen to you iv found the strength from somewhere I'm shocked myself but the more desperate I feel somehow I find the strength to go on, this site has helped everyone's kind words and advice so chin up boxing gloves on and prepare to fight we are all hear with you xxx big hugs

[buttercup]

thank you both for ur words and support......i av to stay strong for both my children but somedays i just wanna hide and cry which happens a lot......i av a weekend visit wiv him this week so we are both looking forward to this
To be honest i was shocked at some of the stories i av found on here and didn't know much to begin wiv, but my heart goes out to all is are suffering and i am happy to be among such brave people and for the support xxxx

[Faith]

To echo what casehardened has said, your son shouldn't have been interviewed without some for of adult in with him due to his age. Hoping that a solicitor is there but if not, you'd have a case against the police for them not following procedure.

Seeing as the young complainant gave a detailed account of things she shouldn't be aware of at that age, it could be very possible (and in my view probable) that she has been trained to say these particular things by a close adult i.e a parent.

You say the doctors called police...was this just due to what they heard from the girl or did they come across signs of damage/injury?

[Mumsinastate]

None of us want to be hear but my goodness what a bunch of people always hear with a kind word I know I wouldn't be so strong if it wasn't for this forum we have all found comfort I'm sure it will be the same for you xxx

[buttercup]

The only other person was the duty solicitor and this is where is gets confusing so please bear wiv me......The duty solicitor who i met when i got there had told my son to say no comment to all questions (At the time i think that was the best option) but then in the same breath said that she could not take the case as she was known to the family......But would arrange for 1 of her collueges to be wiv him wen he gets interviewed. I had to leave my son at the police station overnight, was then told that i cud not be wiv him in the interview as i spoke to him on the phone the night he was arrested, So a social worker was there....I av sinced changed solicitors and av brought up these conserns and he was there for the 2nd interview as was i, This is where i av the problem i agree wiv the 2nd part no child could give that amount of detail let alone know it so yes i think i am guessing she was told what to say, but even if this is the case why would you want to do this the little girl I'm sorry but this is so hard as we are all connected (Family)...

[buttercup]

Sorry yes the doctor call them after she was examined as she was bleeding and my son was mentioned only....