No, no, no...

[marynarz]

No, no, no. I don't wanna go to work. I don't wanna leave my flat. I wanna stay 24/7 at home and I wanna be alone

[Saffron]

Come on Marynarz, you will be fine. I KNOW it's hard, really I do. And I wasn't even the one accused! But you have done so well. Most people would curl up in a ball and surrender. It takes a special kind of person to fight this and come out whole at the end. Our valued members are just such people and yes: you are one of them too.

Hang in there. Please

[fighter]

Marynaz .. you must be having those bad days. Yes, I echo Saffron you have done so well and helping out people here, sharing your experience.

You need work to keep you busy, some people are unfortunate to be suspended from work and would trade places with you to be able to work. My partner was okay because he is working; if not it would be "hell" for us. I didnt work for some months and I suffered more than my partner (am not even the accused); all day thinking about our situation.

I hope tomorrow would be a better day for you.

[gem]

come on martynez
fighting mode is what you want... no negative thoughts allowed

[marynarz]

Thanks for this.

But this so f... hard.
Iv hurt my wife and I wanna talk to her about this but I cant. I see how hard it is for her that she knows I was having f... affair. That I cheated on her. She is so fantastic. I wanna stay at home untill all is finished.
Before I meet this women I was every day outside (in the park, playground etc) with my son. Now? Every f... day at home!
My wife, my son. They are great!They are fantastic. I love them so much!!! I just love them and Iv just hurt them by stupid f... affair

[Saffron]

Well, if nothing else you have actually gained from this horrible experience. You have learned how much you love and value your dear son and wife and you will never ever risk that again.

And of course it was horrible for your wife! But I bet seeing you so down and blue is even worse. My hubby had a "dalliance" - he got off with a colleague in a hotel room. They were both extremely drunk. She said she didn't consent, he said she did. My own opinion is that they were, quite frankly, both so pissed that neither of them could remember clearly exactly what had happened.

If you truly love your wife and want to help her heal than you will be strong. As strong as you can be.

Come on mate. You CAN do it.

[billykickass]

Come on mate we both have done something stupid and were paying the price for it but we didnt rape anyone and shouldnt be made to feel like we did.

Try and chin up were in this together and we will fight and we will win.

Have a cup of tea and watch something funny you will feel better.

[marynarz]

Well, if nothing else you have actually gained from this horrible experience. You have learned how much you love and value your dear son and wife and you will never ever risk that again.

That's for sure. I will never ever risk that again. She is so so so so FANTASTIC.
MY SON? HE IS 5 AND HE CAN READ NOWHe speaks sooooo goood english that no one realise that he have Polish parents
Well. Im the worst in English
People think that my wife was born here

They are fantastic!!!!!

[marynarz]

Come on mate we both have done something stupid and were paying the price for it but we didnt rape anyone and shouldnt be made to feel like we did.

Try and chin up were in this together and we will fight and we will win.

Have a cup of tea and watch something funny you will feel better.

Yeah. We did stupid mistake and we have to win, Because there is only one true!!!!
But this is my bad day today

[fighter]

just ride out that bad day marynaz! have a hot shower; a meal or something :-)

[lawlessone2009]

There is a 'job' you can get where you sit about the house all day.

It pays £65 a week with housing benefit/council tax benefit.

You apply at your local Job Centre Plus.

I wouldn't recommend ANYONE that has any other options available to them ever attempts to apply for this 'job'.

A bad day will only turn into a bad week/month/year/life if you let it. Don't let it get you down. Chin up and smile on, get out there and pass your time, collect your wages and buy your boy some books. Treat the missus to some flowers. Life goes on.

If even the worst thing happens it isn't going to be that bad. The horrors of the unknown are what creates the insecurities so just remember that whatever happens, life goes on and it can only get better.

[RFLH]

some good advice given above.

[Faith]

marynarz, I won't pretend to imagine how you are feeling. I suppose the guilt of hurting your wife and son is worse than the actual allegation itself.
But your wife is still by your side.
She has been strong and you have to match that strength.
Each time you feel down, remember what you are fighting for...your wife and son. giving up is not an option...you won't ever let them down again, you know that and so do we on here. So don't even entertain the thoughts.
Spend some time with your family...that must be the best tonic in the world. Go to work and put food on their table. Remind them each day how special they are...and consider what you so very nearly lost. As Saffron said, this ordeal has made you see exactly how much you love your family.

Your future is still very bright...don't lose sight of that goal. Stay strong. These days are normal. But your wife has been strong enough to stand by you, so you must be strong enough to fight alongside her.

[felix]

Yeqah - go get fighting and disgrace this false accuser

[marynarz]

Id like toa say thank you for replaying here. Sorry that Im saying this now, but I really apreciate this.

Once again
THANK YOU ALL