Loved one accused of rape

[Denise]

That's what I needed to hear, don't let her bully me because that's how it's feeling now

About half hour ago I just well and truly broke down at work

My boss reckons I'm strong to have got to this length of time to break

Any other time at work I could've taken a few days off but I can't now

I've ignored DC by the way
Xx

[Saffron]

Well done Denise.
The DC should know that it would be extremely ill-advised for you to hand over anything without discussing it with your sol first. She sounds like she is the worst kind of bully - one who tries to make you believe she is on your side!

As an aside, I know you are feeling low and weak today. You are not weak. You are an extremely courageous person! Look back and see how far you have come and what you have had to deal with so far.

I used to think of this journey in terms of "Lamposts". You know how it feels when you are carrying a load of heavy grocery bags home? Every now again again you know you will have to pause for a breather. So the journey is divided up into sections, and each one is a lampost on the street. You struggle along with your heavy load thinking "I can make it to the lampost ahead, I can make it to the lampost". When you get to that lampost you have a little rest and then you are ready to struggle on to the next one.

These Lampost-Rests are where we all have a little breakdown, cry for a while and hopefully have someone to lean on. Then we collect up our burden and soldier on.

No-one can carry the heavy load you are carrying without a breather every now and then. Having down days does not make you weak.

Hang in there.

[barney]

Really sorry you are going through this, please remember that evidence as the police call it is simply information that can be seen in many different ways, the truth is something complely different and the police are paid to gather eveidence.....this does not always lead to the truth. BE CAREFULL, I have learnt the hard way they are not to be trusted. You have to stay strong and keep focused and get legal advice. Take care and god bless.

[Denise]

Thankyou everyone I really appreciate everything

Ive left a 3rd Msg for solicitor

Please tell me our rights
Can I insist the DC goes through the solicitor for any more info ?

I'd much rather talk to him than her

I've always been brought up to respect the police and the fact I haven't got bk to her feels so wrong but I'm just not strong enough today

Càn she get me into trouble for this ?
It feels like I'm avoiding her but I've got nothing to hide only that this has got to be my worst day so far
Xx

[Faith]

What a brilliant post Saffron, very useful analogy.

Denise, this woman can not get you into trouble for delaying her. You are under no obligation to give ANYTHING to her. There is no law that says you have to.

[Saffron]

Faith is right.
Just tell her that you have not had time to prepare the disc, and that you intend to take legal advice before you hand the disc over to her. You are not trying to hide anything, you just want to be 100% sure that you are doing the right thing.

If she is really desperate she may try to gain a warrant to seize the photos, but it takes time to get a warrant.

If you are having trouble getting hold of your sol, try telling the receptionist that Plod have asked you for info which you fear may be used in an adverse way and that you need to speak to him/her as a matter of urgency. Alternatively ask for the names of the senior partners of the firm, stating that you would like to write a letter of complaint. (this should be used as a last resort though - you don't want to p1ss off the sol who should be working for you!)

Good luck.

[gem]

hi denise
i may be wrong .. anyone please feel free to disagree..... but i think the videos are evidence for the defense.. so you have a perfect right to hold them.
the police are working for the procecution. i know how you are feeling denise if i had know when they came to my home to remove my computer i would backed everything up that i could have used fro my sons defence.our dc also a woman came to my home as nice as pie and asked me if i had my sons log in details for the msm and facebook. we willingly gave it to her to help my son with alibis for his whereabouts. when i rang her weeks later she told me their were no posts for that time... 3 months of posts were wiped clean and now she has learnt of appeal i suddenly cant have the pc back she also changed all the paswords so i coulnd,t get back into his account .. if anyone had told me then the police are corrupt i would have laughed in their face..best to ring her and tell her you will not be in for a few days in case she suddenly decides to visit unannounced..get the boxing gloves on denise xx thinking of you

[Denise]

Thanks Faith

And yes I agree Saffrons post was brilliant

I guess today I'm holding onto the lamppost for dear life

Solicitor just called he said he thinks it's a good sign CPS are asking for more answers and that it's normal that the police will contact family for more info

I still am not sure but he said he will try to contact her to suggest going through him as I am not coping very well xx

[Faith]

Did he give an indication as to whether you should hand over the photos or not?

[Denise]

He said I should xx

[gem]

hi denise.
oh dear ...... not the answer i would expect from a solicitor.
all i can give you advise wise is what a lot of us have been through with the police
playing dirty tricks to get a conviction..
have you phoned the dc yet have you time to back up those videos ..

[Denise]

Well I've actually stopped crying now

I've just come outside for a cigarette then in back getting the pics and videos on disc, I'm making 3 copies

I never phoned her so I'm guessing solicitor phoned instead

My daughter told me off for not telling her how bad I was

She said in future to tell her then she can tell DC that that day isn't a good day to contact me xx

[gem]

hi denise .. great your daughter is taking off the pressure now .so glad you are getting the copies made ...you should be able to relax a bit now ..
hope you have a better day tommorow

[Denise]

Well I got it all ready but we can't find the discs

I'll have to get some tomorrow

Thanks Gem I'm praying I feel better tomorrow , today totally hit me hard and has got to be the worst weekday I've had so far, I've had pretty nasty Saturday's and Sunday's

It's that heavy sinking feeling, it's cruel

Xx

[Faith]

Oh Denise, I just want to give you a big hug
What a horrible feeling it is.

Don't feel too worried about giving the disc...the solicitor knows your case and it's specifics more than we do and is a law expert so I am sure it is the right thing to do. You are right to keep copies.

Have you seen your GP?

xxxx