Loved one accused of rape

[Faith]

Well I have a busy weekend planned so it shouldn't be too hard
Thanks, good luck to you too x
We had muminstate's good news today...hopefully it's true what they say that good news comes in threes!

[Denise]

Oh wow ! I've been using my phone today do only going through email updates

Congrats muminastate !'
I'll log on tomorrow to catch the goss
Xx

[Izzy]

It's extremely surreal Izzy

I meant when life directly hits me hard I deal with it (lots of tears) but with a mind over matter attitude

This is something else ! Way beyond putting it to the back of our minds
Because also it affects my kids

Throw it at me by all means, but not my kids :-( xx

I'm the same, I can deal with most things, (lots of tears too) but it is a lot worse when it effects your kids. I'd so much rather it was me.

Izzy xxxx

[Denise]

A little update.....

Friday evening I was having those bacardis I told you all about at my daughters, then the phone rings, it says BLOCKED, I panic as usual

It was the OIC telling me CPS are still deciding but asking for more info , they've already called for the accusers and my sons medical/school/police records (my son has never been in trouble with the pollice) now she said the accusers have given her a video of a family holiday and can I provide any ? I said I think I may have deleted them but will check at the weekend, well thankgod I hadn't deleted them and have got loads

Also she asked, for the umpteenth time now, what kind of relationship my ex had with his girls...I told her, she has said a couple of times that he's rather weird or strange, I can't remember which word she uses, I'd use both. I said yes I keep telling you he's weird and money orientated and couldn't accept that I had moved on and met someone else (he was phsically abusive and financially controlling)

She said let's hope this gets sorted quick, I said on one hand I want more than ever for an NFA but on the other hand I want to prove they are lying and the only way we can do that is incourt, she said she understands what I mean but I really wouldn't want it to go to court !

How am I meant to take this phone call ? is she playing me ? or is she thinking they are lying ?

Her phone calls leave me so desperate and shaky. Oh and I asked her not to ring me at work anymore, either for questions or when she finds out a CPS decision, I said I'm not coping and if I know Im safe from her calls during work hours I might be able to keep my heart beating at a normal pace, she said she understood and won't do it again.

She said she might pop over one evening next week to show me the video, I'm sooo confused, and if I give her copies of my stuff she will probably show them ! But in fairness they have copies of everything I have anyway and vice versa. If either their father or me took pics/videos we always copied them onto each others pcs xx

[Faith]

Denise, my fear would be that she is desperately trying to get more evidence against the case. If they had enough evidence, they would charge.

This is why you need to have a solicitor pre-charge. This is the kind of thing that needs to go through a solicitor first.

[Denise]

So you think she's against us ? I've gone through every picture and video through the years and there's NOTHING to suggest anything was happening (that's because it didn't happen) they are purely of children playing on holidays etc

One video clearly shows one of the accusers choosing to sit next to my son xx

[Faith]

Sorry, Denise, I really don't know enough to say for sure. I don't want to give you the wrong advice on this...my main advice would be to contact a solicitor. One thing I've learned is that no matter how much the police pretend to be on your side, it's always wise to run everything by a solicitor first.

Sorry, not much help is it?

[gem]

sorry denise dont want to scare you. but dont trust her and do not give her the videos. please keep them for a solicitor if you need one later down the line. i trusted police with my sons password for his facebook account and they erased all of his posts that were vital evidence of his whereabouts . i have never got that pc back either. at least ring a solicitor for some advice. if she pops round for the videos tell her you have misplaced them till you get more copies made. hopefully they do not have enough to charge your son ...

[Denise]

I'm really scared now, my OH advised me to text her to tell her I've got some videos and photos

How on earth do we quickly find a good solicitor that will accept legal aid ?

I spoke to one the day he got arrested who couldn't make the appt on the first day he was taken in for questioning but sent a duty one in that neck of the woods

OH said to phone that original one and ask him if he knows of a solicitor that can help us , should we ? Xx

[gem]

hi denise
really sorry denise don,t want to alarm you.just want you to be aware of the dirty tricks they use to get a conviction.sadly it means we don,t trust the police anymore.
but at least you are one step ahead of them now. ring the original solicitor tommorrow and ask for advise.you can also usually get some free advice for 1 hour from many solicitors, check your pc for local solicitors offering this.and can you get the videos and pics copied quickly.

[Browneyedgirl]

Hi Denise
I am inclined to agree with gem and faith on this. I think the OIC is taking the p**s now. Let her show you the video she has and let her do all the talking if she comes round to see you. I understand how you must be feeling though Denise. You want to help your son in anyway possible but I worry that she is taking advantage of the fact that you do not have a solicitor (I’m assuming that she knows you haven’t instructed a solicitor yet?) and will willingly hand over evidence which might be used against your son rather than for him. I think you should seek advice from a solicitor at the earliest opportunity.

As gem suggested, if she does come round, you can always say that you are still looking for them. Bear in mind that the CPS will be trying to ascertain what the defence evidence might be, however part of me thinks that if they are looking at family videos, then they haven’t got much to go on currently.

[Faith]

I agree with browneyedgirl
I have to reitorate my belief that if they are looking for further evidence, then it means they currently don't have enough.

Remember, it is their job to prove guilt, not yours to prove innocence at this stage

[Denise]

Yes they are all normal videos and pics of a 'normal' family

Many pics are of birthdays and as I told her that very first day they were 'in your face kids' and lo and behold they are right next to my son watching him open cards or blowing candles out

I'll phone that solicitor tomorrow

It's all made me feel Ill again :-(

And I'll burn those pics etc onto a DVD tomorrow and keep a copy myself

I know I don't always get the answers I'd hoped for but I really do value and appreciate your input everyone

Xx

[Faith]

At the end of the day we can only give our gut feelings from our own experiences.
None of us are legal experts so if you feel really sure it may help, then follow your gut feelings.
But you must at the very least keep copies for yourself.
Hopefully a solicitor might clear things up.
As gem said, many will offer initial advice on this matter free of charge.

Take care

[Denise]

Well I definitely don't trust my gut feeling, I'm way too naive for that

So glad I have you guys :-)

Xx