Loved one accused of rape

[Saffron]

Indigestion (heartburn, how appropriate is that?!) sometimes feels as though you are having a heart attack...a tight, excruciating pain in your chest, which makes you panic.

It is also stress-related though, as is IBS.

Those girls WILL NOT be the death of you. You are better and stronger than they are.

[Denise]

Indigestion (heartburn, how appropriate is that?!) sometimes feels as though you are having a heart attack...a tight, excruciating pain in your chest, which makes you panic.

It is also stress-related though, as is IBS.

Those girls WILL NOT be the death of you. You are better and stronger than they are.

Yes I am aware that many heart attack patients thought they had indigestion, and many 'indigestion sufferers' turn up to A&E thinking they are having a heart attack

I get the IBS too but recently this heartburn/indigestion is the biggest nuisance.

Monday I thought I'd hurt my lung, the pain was constant and front to back, got home from work and my OH (who is an angel btw) had ran me a hot bath and massaged the pain area...no joking within half hour of being home it had gone !

Considering my horrible day (and being at work all day) I feel unusually (and frightenly) in good spirits tonight, long may it continue xx

[Browneyedgirl]

Denise, I am glad you OH is looking after you and you are in good spirits this evening. I wouldn't dismiss a check up with the doc though, what with all that's been happening of late. I'm not going to nag, because I'm the last to take my own advice and I know I should go docs to get something to help me through our ordeal.

I don't think for one minute those liars, just like ours have any inclination or interest for that matter, in the heartache and suffering they are causing.

I have just poured a glass of wine and have said a private toast to you getting a good result AND SOON.

Much love. xx

[Denise]

Denise, I am glad you OH is looking after you and you are in good spirits this evening. I wouldn't dismiss a check up with the doc though, what with all that's been happening of late. I'm not going to nag, because I'm the last to take my own advice and I know I should go docs to get something to help me through our ordeal.

I don't think for one minute those liars, just like ours have any inclination or interest for that matter, in the heartache and suffering they are causing.

I have just poured a glass of wine and have said a private toast to you getting a good result AND SOON.

Much love. xx

You're sweet

I can't drink wine, I only need 2 and I'm gone (or maybe I should drink it then !)

I hope we all get a good result soon, today I was thinking how bad I would feel for everyone else on here also in limbo if I got the news we so badly want, we all deserve an end to our suffering.

enjoy that wine ! xx

[felix]

I really wonder if the police who work in specialist sexual offences areas like SAPPHIRE 'get' what it is like for those of us falsely accused in our first brush on the wrong side of the law? They grow up in their careers dealing with people for whom first ever arrest is a rite of passage and gaining of a badge of respect, who visit custody suites every few months, for whom getting charged or NFA'd is merely another move on life's varied chessboard. Who join their latest speciality and see the terrible output from genuine abuse and sort of lock their humanity away. So each of our cases become just another job, another file, and at 4pm on a Friday the pub calls and off they go, with no comprehension they have damaged us and our loved ones and buggered our weekend?

[Denise]

I agree and if she tells me once more "I know it's easy for me to say but you've got to stop worrying" I swear I'll swing for her

For them it really is 'just another job, and another day'

For us it's hell and life stopping xx

[RFLH]

Yes Felix, they do know. You're looking sat it from the point of view of someone that hasn't done anything - but can you imagine their job of working with the guilty? The things they see and have to do? Would you want to sit and look at thousands of photos? Have to try to be pleasant to men (and women) who inflict the most degrading and disgusting things on children and women (men).

Then they have to go home to their wives and families and try to leave it all at work. No wonder they have ongoing counselling to do to the job. I wouldn't want to do it.

I'm no great fan of plod, but they do a good job when they get it right.

[Faith]

I've often wondered how people can stomach working for that branch of CID.
It would screw me up good and proper and I like to think that I'm strong.
I do have a grim kind of respect for them and I know SOMEONE has to do it.
I just wonder if they realise when they choose that route in their career exactly what they're going to see!

[Absolutely gutted]

Thankyou everyone ,

Well, his dad now says he can only have a puppy if it sleeps with them (dad & GF) in their room, this is ridiculous, it would've been a little god send to bein my sons room with him, we're paying half so I will keep thinking up ideas so my son gets his puppy

What do you all do to keep sane(ish) ?

I play scrabble & hangman on my iPhone with friends xx

A puppy is a great idea...we got a rescue puppy which a friend of ours bought off a homeless person who couldn't look after it. She's a Jack Russell Terrier mix and quite a handful but she really keeps our (and especially hubby's mind) off this horrible situation...can definitely recommend

[friday]

My soit officer said they know when someone is making it up. Obviously they can't always be right but I do think they are aware of what false accusations do to the men who are accused and the real victims.

[Faith]

One of my friends works for CID child protection division and he says that too. He says they can tell when the person is lying about 90% of the time but they have to see the process through

[tiftaf]

Hi Denise

What you are describing is anxiety in my opinion. I have suffered with anxiety and panic attacks for years. unfortunately once you hit this road I dont think you ever really go back. It's just how your body copes with stress. I know it isn't nice, in fact it's terrifying. Understanding why it's happening though may help you. Because you are in a highly stressful and emotive situation your body is continuously struggling between fight and flight. The horrid feelings are you fighting so although it feels awful, it shows that you are strong, alive and fighting.

Keep strong, try and go on long walks. When I got my dog Maddie it was the best thing I ever did. i had to walk her and my anxiety reduced until now if I feel **** and anxious I take her on a long walk and it disappears. honestly, walking is the best medicine. Maybe getting that puppy you discussed in another thread would be excellent for not just your son but for you.

[fighter]

great advise tiftaf! :-)

[Denise]

I wish I could get a puppy too, I know the one id get but I work full time and it wouldn't be fair, OH brought his dog to the relationship bit he's used to being alone all day

Yes I think I do suffer anxiety I'm not a confident person at all, even when amongst family too sometimes, because I'm friendly I suppose it's not noticeable how I'm feeling inside

OH and me had a weird start to today, we spent hours working out how we could be private detectives in this case and solve the lies ourselves

A question: why haven't the police done something about the lies they've told that we càn (if asked) present proof for ?

I've made a decision: I'm not going to call OIC anymore pushing for a decision from CPS, as and when they decide I'll be told. I don't want to get their backs up and force a potential 'not in our favour' decision xx

[Casehardened]

I've made a decision: I'm not going to call OIC anymore pushing for a decision from CPS, as and when they decide I'll be told. I don't want to get their backs up and force a potential 'not in our favour' decision xx

I think you're correct in this, not because you'll annoy them, after all it's just another job to them (even though it's life and death to you) but it will be so much better for you to try to 'wind down'.

Without wanting to give you false hope, but it take does much longer to get a NFA than a charge decision as this has to be ratified by two independent specialist CPS lawyers.