Loved one accused of rape

[Joe-D]

Denise, with regards the conversation on facebook, make sure you do a screen print. Don't be tempted to copy and paste.

Wednesday will be here before you know it and I hope it is good news for you.

camera picture also if possible

[Faith]

denise, with regards to MSN, I had a real fright as I did this too...it makes you think you've sent a friend request. I phoned the MSN helpline and they insisted that it doesn't actually send a friend request...I can't quite remember how they explained it but it turned out i hadn't actually made contact...

[Joe-D]

Also,

It might pay to give some attention to things not quite related to the accusation. If for example, there's other things that they've lied about, or contradicted themselves, the more serious would stand out better. If it goes to court, the more proof that you (your solicitor) can show that they're quite willing to lie (about other stuff) will stand in your favour.

So, ye, keep your eye out for other things if they come up (and be prepared to record whatever it is in anyway you can).

And remember ... soon as they know you're recording/taking copies of stuff, it WILL become that much harder to get more evidence, keep whatever you do to get evidence as quiet as possible for as long as you can.

It's a horrible sick game people like them play, unfortunately to 'win' you gotta play like this... stupid little attitudes like them is.. well, disgusting.

[friday]

Of course they may claim to have refused an exam because it would "bring back the trauma" of their "ordeals". In which case it is also worth asking whether they are now sexually active. Usually the complainant's sexual history is inadmissible as evidence, but if they are refusing a medical examination due to "trauma" then one would assume that they also can't bear sexual contact. I could be wrong, just a thought!

I really can't cope with those exams because it brings back memories. I am sexually active though so it is possible that a real victim could be sexually active but have flashbacks from a medical exam. The position is fixed in a medical exam whereas you can choose to have sex in ways which don't (or are less likely to) trigger memories. I also feel very vulnerable (literally exposed..) and those feelings seem to bring the memories to the surface. Also real victims may do things like drink before having sex to try prevent flashbacks.

These are the true reasons why victims may be able to have sex but not a medical exam. I imagine that these or similar explantions may be given by the accusers.

[Denise]

I do honestly understand why genuine victims could potentially refuse an examination on brutal rapes,

I can, hand on heart state, that these kids were never left alone, purely based on the fact that an argument would've occurred, my eldest catogorically always refused to babysit them, on the last weekend the eldest one visited she did a massive stealing mission, mainly from my eldest child, she went through her handbag, wardrobe, drawers and even under her bed, my daughter was out for the day (a rarity) but her bf and my nephew were there along with my 2 sons and me and their father, she planted it all in her sisters holdall, it was found on the Monday when her father called her mother to ask if they had taken the goods,

I was fuming. It confirmed everything I had always said and thought about this girl. And I told the father I don't want her there unless locks were put on bedroom doors, he refused so she never came back, weeks later she asked him how we would feel if she started visiting again, me and my kids were less tense not seeing her so she never did return

She stole from a shop, got caught & received mental health sessions x

[gem]

hi denise
i think you have another piece of evidence their, mental health issues, have you told your solicitor about this. this girl certainly has some problems that can only go in your favour

[Denise]

hi denise
i think you have another piece of evidence their, mental health issues, have you told your solicitor about this. this girl certainly has some problems that can only go in your favour

Gem at present we don't have a solicitor because we are waiting for CPS to make a decision, but this was logged in my statement to police, I've been told once we hear it's going to court then we find a solicitor, the retired officer from the child abuse investigigation unit who came to make our statements said to my OH that he sees a mother who has had her own share of mental health issues (bulimia or anorexia I can't remember) & a father who didn't really play a correct parent role. The girls knew too much of their mothers lovelife IMO , I'd met the mother on numerous occasions and she acted like one of the kids, she was sex & relationship mad, the girls were sexually aware from a young age and whenever they could they would dress and act like that too x

[Rights Fighter]

She stole from a shop, got caught & received mental health sessions x

As Gem has correctly pointed out it seems there were already ongoing mental health issues.

If your lad is charged then you MUST get a solciitor who is experienced in defending false allegations and who will obtain or apply for the Crown to obtain all mental health/counselling records to ascertain whether she has made allegations of sexual abuse before and who she accused and what the outcome was.

[Denise]

As Gem has correctly pointed out it seems there were already ongoing mental health issues.

If your lad is charged then you MUST get a solciitor who is experienced in defending false allegations and who will obtain or apply for the Crown to obtain all mental health/counselling records to ascertain whether she has made allegations of sexual abuse before and who she accused and what the outcome was.

I will do Rights Fighter, thankyou.

My mind is in a whirl at the moment, I'm mentally prepared for CPS to say it's going to court, but where on earth do I start looking for a solicitor specialising in this ? and, my son is at college, so receives no income, no benefits, nothing. I don't have the means to fund a case, there is a very slight possibility my eldest will persuade their father to sell one of his properties, they've been told its their inheritance and my eldest says she would gladly waiver her ratio for her brother. x

[Rights Fighter]

In which part of the UK are you? The county will do.

[Denise]

In which part of the UK are you? The county will do.

we're in the Cambridgeshire area x

[fighter]

My mind is in a whirl at the moment, I'm mentally prepared for CPS to say it's going to court, but where on earth do I start looking for a solicitor specialising in this ? and, my son is at college, so receives no income, no benefits, nothing. I don't have the means to fund a case, there is a very slight possibility my eldest will persuade their father to sell one of his properties, they've been told its their inheritance and my eldest says she would gladly waiver her ratio for her brother. x

Denise, wont your son be qualified for legal aid as he has no income? I hope it doesnt require selling properties because of this case. I am really hoping it is an NFA.

[Denise]

Denise, wont your son be qualified for legal aid as he has no income? I hope it doesnt require selling properties because of this case. I am really hoping it is an NFA.

I really hope he does qualify for legal aid, true to form I'm as useless with the benefits system as I am with the legal system, I've told him not to get a job otherwise he will be forever in debt over this, I really hope I'm advising him correctly x

[Izzy]

Hi Denise, I really hope it's a NFA for your Son on Wednesday.

Thinking of you both.

Izzy x

[Denise]

Hi Denise, I really hope it's a NFA for your Son on Wednesday.

Thinking of you both.

Izzy x

Izzy that is so sweet of you of to think of us, thankyou so much.
DC said it should've been friday just gone, when i phoned sat afternoon she said it should be Wednesday, from reading the runaround stories on here I'm guessing it may not even be Wednesday.

I do and I don't want to know what CPS says. Strange. But it's the only way I can describe it.

Izzy, I'm really hoping you and your son get some good news too xx