Loved one accused of rape

[Denise]

Hi everyone

I have a very much loved family member who has been accused of rape "between 10 and 100 times" (we haven't yet got to read their statements so that's all we have been told)

I know he's innocent, my life was with him back then and as a family we all lived through the 'hell' of these 2 girls. The small amount we have been told we can pick out at least 3 untruths. We should be hearing this week what CPS decide, the accusers went to the police in May i think, but because the accused was not in the UK they waited until he returned then telephoned him asking him to come in for questioning, which he did the next day, that was back in the 3rd week of Sept 11, he was released on bail and has since been bailed twice more until end of Feb, but police say we should hear this week if it is going to court or not. I have only told one friend, and some family members about this, my boss knows but nobody else. I have since lost friends because I've removed myself from everyone because Im an honest person, and by not talking about it to people, I would rather avoid than lie to them. Plus I'm a constant bundle of nerves, I struggle to cope with it all. My loved one is such a nice person, a joker, but not at all nasty, persuasive, or controlling or threatening. Yet the 2 accusers made our life hell for the time we knew them. We have been told that if it does go to court, we can expect it to take between 6-12 months to start. I haven't been to the doctor, I keep trying so hard to keep going strong, to be there for him and to show him, whatever the outcome, I know he's innocent, and will always remain so special to me. The police told us not to talk to people about it, because people pre judge.

As far as we have been told, there's no evidence, and no witnesses, and they didn't even tell each other, yet suddenly, in November, someone came forward for them and said they had both talked to this person when it was happening. Lots of flaws so far, and that is without seeing their statements, just by questions the police kept asking us. They said it happened when all involved were aged between 8 and 14

[Casehardened]

They said it happened when all involved were aged between 8 and 14

Hello Denise & welcome to the forum,

To help members to offer advice could you just clarify that you meant the accused person was also in this age range (and presumably the 14 yo)

Also how long ago did the alleged offences occur?

[Faith]

Welcome to the forum, and so sorry you have had to track us down.
I'm glad you found us when you did, before any charge that may happen as that it when the real fight does happen.
Glad you can see inconsistencies so far, they should be the foundation when/if you need to see the statements.
Obviously the best outcome would be NFA but I'd imagine you are preparing yourself for the worst.
If you haven't already, you need a specialist solicitor for these kind of cases. If you can give your general location (not too specific as this is a public forum) someone may be able to reccommend one.
Keep strong, and please ask anything you need to know, I'm sure there'll always be someone here that can help out.

FAs are becoming a tragically common thing, I'm sorry that you and your husband find yourself with this fight but you will amaze yourselves with how strong you find yourselves becoming.

Take care

[fighter]

Denis,
Sorry to hear your story and welcome to the forum. I can imagine what you are going through; especially as you have not told others who would have supported you. The police has told us not to tell others also because for them it was "rubbish" so to minimize further damage; but 10 months my partner was charged. Not all people pre-judge, there are a lot of members who had family and friends supporting them when they knew of what happened. However, it is your decision of course. We did tell most of our friends when he was charged and not one of them believed he had done it.

You have been very strong and sending you more strength and courage as the day of the decision comes. I hope the decision will be no further action for your loved one. Whatever the decision is please keep us posted. News of No Further Action uplifts the forum and give hope for others who are also waiting for their decision.

If it is otherwise; you will definitely get a huge support from us and loads of practical advises. I joined the forum when my partner got charged and it had helped very much.

Hugs to you and hang in there, let us hope the suffering will end soon.

[Denise]

Peterborough/Cambridge area
We've been told alleged offences happened between 2002 & I think 2007. We didn't even know them until 2003 but the property they're saying it happened in we didn't move there until mid 2004, in 2004 my sons age was 13 and they were 9 & 11

[Denise]

Xmas was hard, I see him a lot (he doesn't live with me) and he started drinking heavily, then one night I got a text from him saying he adored me but he's not as strong as me, I was so scared it was his goodbye from this world but his siblings and my partner say I saved him that night by staying up texting him, he's turned a massive corner and comes to stay a few nights a week now, he knows I'll always be there for him ,his father us useless

[Rights Fighter]

I have since lost friends because I've removed myself from everyone because Im an honest person, and by not talking about it to people, I would rather avoid than lie to them. Plus I'm a constant bundle of nerves, I struggle to cope with it all.

Maybe if you trusted some of your friends you would not be feeling quite so stressed and low and you would have support. If they don't believe you in your assertions of your loved one's innocence then they are not real friends at all. This is where you sort the wheat from the chaff.

[Faith]

Maybe if you trusted some of your friends you would not be feeling quite so stressed and low and you would have support. If they don't believe you in your assertions of your loved one's innocence then they are not real friends at all. This is where you sort the wheat from the chaff.

Couldn't agree more with this.
It only takes one or two friends to take the edge off something like this. This kind of situation is awful...but it doesn't half sort out who deserves to stay in your life.

Denise, can you think of anyone who may listen to you with an open mind and knows your loved one well enough to believe in him?

[Casehardened]

We've been told alleged offences happened between 2002 & I think 2007. We didn't even know them until 2003 but the property they're saying it happened in we didn't move there until mid 2004, in 2004 my sons age was 13 and they were 9 & 11

If the alleged offences had happened years ago, the criteria for prosecuting minors would have been different

However there is very little difference between the ages, so hopefully this won't go anywhere.

BTW, this forum can be read by anybody, please don't give any information which might identify you!

[Denise]

Thankyou so much rights fighter, where is he based ?

As for friends, I know (for sure) if I told them i fear it would become gossiped about, even though both of my friends really didn't like these girls,

I'm so scared my sons life will be forever affected by this and I have 2 other children (both over 16) who lives won't be the same, that day I took my son to the police station, and we didn't know the charges at the time I told the dc I really felt this was a revenge attack but she said it's a very serious allegation over a silly dispute but more or less their whole family have mental health issues & attention seeking tendencies

[Denise]

Couldn't agree more with this.
It only takes one or two friends to take the edge off something like this. This kind of situation is awful...but it doesn't half sort out who deserves to stay in your life.

Denise, can you think of anyone who may listen to you with an open mind and knows your loved one well enough to believe in him?

Yes NYE I broke down and told my lifelong friend but we haven't spoke about it since

[Denise]

If the alleged offences had happened years ago, the criteria for prosecuting minors would have been different

However there is very little difference between the ages, so hopefully this won't go anywhere.

BTW, this forum can be read by anybody, please don't give any information which might identify you!

Have I said too much ? My partner just warned me To be careful

[Rights Fighter]

Thankyou so much rights fighter, where is he based ?

Where is who based?

[Casehardened]

Have I said too much ? My partner just warned me To be careful

Unless someone from your street is reading this, you not given too much away!

However I didn't know if you had realised this was an open forum (people can read the posts without joining & registering) so it's best not to put any information which could identify you or your son in your posts.

[Denise]

Unless someone from your street is reading this, you not given too much away!

However I didn't know if you had realised this was an open forum (people can read the posts without joining & registering) so it's best not to put any information which could identify you or your son in your posts.

oh ok thankyou, yes I browsed for about 10 mins before registering myself