Loved one accused of rape

[Browneyedgirl]

Denise, Izzy, Saffron and Faith. - I know you are all right in what you say/advise, I just can’t seem to bring myself to go and see doc. I’m so sorry to let you down when you have been good enough to give me advice. I guess I am just hanging on hoping someone will wave a magic wand and make it all go away. Last night I spoke with a relative (she doesn’t know about the allegation) about the difficult time she went through after her second child was born. I’m sure she sensed I was asking few too many questions about the tablets the doc put her on. I just wish I was brave enough to take the bull by the horns, but I'm not.

I’m just sick of waiting for CPS decision now – it’s surely got to be sometime soon. xx

[Faith]

Denise, Izzy, Saffron and Faith. - I know you are all right in what you say/advise, I just can’t seem to bring myself to go and see doc. I’m so sorry to let you down when you have been good enough to give me advice. I guess I am just hanging on hoping someone will wave a magic wand and make it all go away. Last night I spoke with a relative (she doesn’t know about the allegation) about the difficult time she went through after her second child was born. I’m sure she sensed I was asking few too many questions about the tablets the doc put her on. I just wish I was brave enough to take the bull by the horns, but I'm not.

I’m just sick of waiting for CPS decision now – it’s surely got to be sometime soon. xx

You aren't letting anyone down. The doctors aren't for everyone. Only you know what you can personally handle at the moment. Maybe when it's over you will be able to go to help with the 'getting over' process

I really hope you get a decision soon
Remind me, when is the next bail date?

[Browneyedgirl]

Thank you Faith. I know that whatever the decision is, I am going to enter yet another phase of emotion and you are right, perhaps I will feel different about going to the docs then.
We do not have a bail date. OH was voluntarily interviewed, no arrest or charge. Case has gone to CPS for a decision on whether to charge.

[Faith]

Oh yes that's right. He can't be charged unless he is arrested first. Has that already been said? I forget

[Browneyedgirl]

In amongst a few other threads, yes. It just pains me that our lives are being put in the hands of some DI, then the CPS, who don't know us, don't know the heartache these vile accusers have caused us over the years and we are expected to wait for them to decide our fate.

[Faith]

Have you phoned the OIC recently? He/She may be able to give some indication of a timescale.

[Denise]

Faiths right, you're not letting anyone down, or yourself

Here's what I kind of promised myself after that Tuesday I lost it, if I had 2 or 3 more days of them in a row I was def going docs,

You take care xx

[Browneyedgirl]

Faith, our solicitor contacted the OIC about a month ago but was told it was still with CPS. We were informed initially that it could take 3-4 months. As that time isn't up yet, we haven't felt we should be pestering. Silly I know, but you start thinking all manner of things about what they will be concluding or building against us from any contact whatsoever. Do you think we should chase this up again ourselves?

Denise, I like your rationale. I am going to take a leaf out of your book and set myself some targets over the coming weeks to help me get through.
Thank you both. xx

[Denise]

Faith, our solicitor contacted the OIC about a month ago but was told it was still with CPS. We were informed initially that it could take 3-4 months. As that time isn't up yet, we haven't felt we should be pestering. Silly I know, but you start thinking all manner of things about what they will be concluding or building against us from any contact whatsoever. Do you think we should chase this up again ourselves?

Denise, I like your rationale. I am going to take a leaf out of your book and set myself some targets over the coming weeks to help me get through.
Thank you both. xx

At one point I was chasing DC for CPS decision a lot then decided to cool it, I didn't want them saying "right to shut you up just let it go to court" so I backed off and never asked again, it's the knowing whether or whether not to chase that I also found difficult xx

[felix]

A request made by you to your solicitor every 2 weeks to to call OIC won't ne taken amiss. It is horrid, horrid I know...

[Browneyedgirl]

Thanks Felix. Just had a call from solicitor, he has been trying to contact OIC without success so has left a message for an update. Another weekend of not knowing. We've had some information via a third party which is encouraging for our side, but you just never know how it's going to be interpreted or twisted do you?

[felix]

Please, broken record, don't trust the police and only put new info of any form to your solicitor. Police can "lose" info and evidence which works against their case building.... however "kind, nice, positive or understanding" the police are all they want is a successful prosecution....

[Browneyedgirl]

Rest assured Felix, the information was only shared with our solicitor. I have taken lots of notice of previous advice given here. Lets see what next week brings if OIC responds to the solicitor.

[Denise]

Thanks Felix. Just had a call from solicitor, he has been trying to contact OIC without success so has left a message for an update. Another weekend of not knowing. We've had some information via a third party which is encouraging for our side, but you just never know how it's going to be interpreted or twisted do you?

You know how I used to feel when yet another weekend loomed with no decision

And I feel it for you too
Take care and make the most of your 2 days xxxxxxx

[Browneyedgirl]

I certainly do Denise. I also remember you getting to the stage of having spent months waiting for the decision, to then actually not wanting that decision to come for fear of what it might be. I think I am fast approaching that stage now too. I know that we know what the accusers motives are and that they are nothing but vile liars and have been for x amount of years, but relying on some Officer and CPS lawyer to see that is something very different. xx