Loved one accused of rape

[Denise]

My son got his pug puppy for his 21st
A little girl called Frankie :-)

Xx

[Faith]

tiftaf, every case is different, there is no set timescale for the CPS to reach a decision. Mine was 6 months...I've heard of timescales from under a week right up to two and half years.

It's not really something that can be answered I'm afraid.

[Saffron]

You are right Denise. I know deep down I need to go docs, I just need to get the courage up to go and ask for help. Thank you so much for your kind words and support Denise. xx

Browneyedgirl, is there someone who could go to the docs with you? Someone who knows what you are going through? I know it's hard to explain what has happened to someone who is, to all intents and purposes, a stranger. Just remember that the doc has probably listened to all manner of things in the past. Our GP was extremely understanding when I frogmarched Mr W there. Likewise when my Mum strong-armed me into going, and came along with me just to make sure I actually turned up.
I know for a fact that I am not the only person who has wept all over Doc's carpet!

[Browneyedgirl]

Thank you Saffron, I am coming around to the idea of the docs, particularly as it has been mentioned by many people now. Sadly the GP I had was struck off. He was a lovely, supportive man who I would not have any hesitation about going to see. Another victim of a false allegation! Now it’s a bit of pot luck who you’ll see and it’s never a doc you have seen previously. I have been given details for counselling support both from my and my husband’s employers so I will also give that some consideration too. Thank you for being supportive Saffron. Denise, I don’t mean to hijack your thread. I guess I should start a new one of my own. Another thing to build up courage to do. xx

[Denise]

Hey browneyedgirl don't you worry about my thread
Keep using it for as long as you like

Give the docs very serious thought

I think I turned a corner yesterday/today

It's still constantly on my mind which is obvious as I cant just wipe out the last 5 months

Sadly you're still going through this (I so hope ot ends for you too soon)
But just don't leave it like I did
For me, it was out of pure laziness and work commitments

I have to travel to another county for work and doc appts are always such a hassle for me

There's no need to suffer more than you already are, you don't deserve it, you're a good person xxxxx

[Faith]

I saw my doctor today for the first time since my NFA. She had heard from my therapist's notes that I had been NFA'd and she gave me a big hug and a bottle of champagne and a hug when I came in. When I shamefully started crying, it set her off too. She is very understanding and said she felt she were on the journey too.

As for the medication, they are most likely to put you on a course of Citalopram which is non addictive, unlike other anti depressants. You won't become reliant on them, they are easy to come off of. They are no miracle cure but they can take that edge off and stop you sinking too low.

[Browneyedgirl]

Thanks Denise, that’s really kind of you. I’m delighted you have turned a corner. I can actually sense that in your post you know. You just sound so much more positive, it’s lovely to hear. Lifts my spirits and gives me hope too. xx

[Browneyedgirl]

Thank you Faith. What a lovely thing for the doc to do. That info is really helpful as I can do some research while I pluck up the courage to make the appointment. Did you have any odd side effects?

[Faith]

The only real side effect is it affects sex drive (in a male anyway, not sure about a female) The drug is sometimes used as a solution to premature ejaculation (Oh I'm full of interesting trivia!)

As with any drug there's a tiny chance of many side effects but that is rare.

[Browneyedgirl]

Thanks, that's given me something to read up on. xx

[Denise]

I was given something a few years ago when I split from the accusers old man

I can't remember what they were but I took them @ 9pm each evening
I only lasted 2 weeks On them then decided to do it alone (but these situations are waaaay different for us on here)

Mine helped me sleep. I started by taking them in the mornings but they made me feel a bit groggy

One thing I do remember though was tummy cramps for about the first 3 days

I can't say if they did or didn't help because the packet said they take about 2-3 weeks to kick in

That's why you shouldn't leave it any longer browneyedgirl xx

[Saffron]

I told my doc I didn't want antidepressants, so she gave me sleeping tablets and referred me to a counsellor instead.

(Unfortunately Mr Saffron was suicidal at the time, so I hid the sleeping tablets and then coudn't remember where I had hidden them! To this day I still can't find them....we are hoping to move house soon, so no doubt they will turn up in the course of packing! However I went back to the doc and explained what had happened and she prescribed me some more)

Everything looks better after a decent night's sleep. And the counsellor was great - completely non-judgemental, an endless supply of tissues and a good ear.

[tiftaf]

What brilliant news for you both. Yesterday I cried all day today my head is banging it has helped though to know I am not alone. Normally I dont cry but the tears are always close by it seems

[Denise]

It's not worth leaving it until you're desperate especially what everyone is going through

Who knows, if I hadn't left it maybe I wouldn't have had that blackest Tuesday last week where I didn't think I could carry on

Xx

[Izzy]

Thank you Saffron, I am coming around to the idea of the docs, particularly as it has been mentioned by many people now. Sadly the GP I had was struck off. He was a lovely, supportive man who I would not have any hesitation about going to see. Another victim of a false allegation! Now it’s a bit of pot luck who you’ll see and it’s never a doc you have seen previously. I have been given details for counselling support both from my and my husband’s employers so I will also give that some consideration too. Thank you for being supportive Saffron. Denise, I don’t mean to hijack your thread. I guess I should start a new one of my own. Another thing to build up courage to do. xx

Hi Browneyed girl, please make sure you see a good Doctor.
My Son went at the beginning of all this ( never goes to the Doctor ) and saw a young Doctor who I suspect was a bit out of his depth and didn't really offer any help. It takes courage to go and I would hate for anyone else to feel that it wasn't helpful.

Take care,

Izzy xx