Contact with your accuser after NFA

[Faith]

Some good words of warning there Izzy. NEVER trust someone who could do this to you in the first place

[largactyl1]

Some good words of warning there Izzy. NEVER trust someone who could do this to you in the first place

Everyone is completely right in that the False Accuser should never be contacted.

However, I totally get why someone would consider it, afterall, just to know why the FA'er took the horrible, spiteful and downright dangerous decision to ruin someone elses life, potentially leading to years in prison and a ruined life - and undermine the situation for genuine rape victims. Did they not realise the enormity of what they were to release by complaining to the police, was it for the money; was it for attention; revenge; due to a Personality Disorder; shame; an excuse for cheating??? These questions still concern Tony even after a year since his NFA.

Tony, like the OP also re-evaluated his life after the terrible trauma. He is now happier than I have known him to be in all of the years we have been friends. He has worked out in his own mind what he really wants from life - what is important and what is not - and who is important and who is not. He still gets bad days when he can't stop thinking about it all, and angry days - because of her going unpunished (despite being a serial accuser). On the whole though he has survived and life for him is pretty ok. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Jen

[123]

Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned !!!

[Faith]

Ain't that the truth!

Seriously though, it is important to point out that not all women are the same. The vast majority wouldn't dream of making wild and false accusations.

[123]

How does one tell which ones are and which are not when False accusers range from crackheads to solicitors ?

From this forum alone it is perfectly clear that if a man is celebate and gives up sex altogether he can still be accused !!!

I have considered all sorts of things since my arrest and this is a minefield. A man could voice/video record all his sexual activity, if thats going a bit far in terms of privacy then certainly record the consent being given, that I think would be fair but how do you defend against an allegation where sex didnt take place hence consent was not gained because it was not needed and sex did not take place.

I had no real knowledge of Historic rape till now but that seems to give women a loaded gun to f@ck someone up - Easy as that !!!

The law of rape must exist but it has so many holes in it that can put innocent men away.

I read somewhere that someone in our legal system said:

"I would rather 100 guilty go unpunished than see 1 innocent person be punished"

That makes some sense to me as you will find that out of those 100 who got away with it most will go on to comit an offence again, they will get their dues one day. I remember from a Police Action tv programme that the police do take that view.

Another thing that stands out (to me because what I know is based on a few days reading only) is that these false accusers seem to have some sort of mental issues, ( I may be wrong - tell me if I am) forms of depression. I say that stands out to me because every one that I have spoken to has used words like psyco, dumb, nasty, scum, F'd up in the head etc. Even this thread highlights not to have contact with the FA again because it is quite likely she will not have learnt and will do it again. I have not seen or heard any exception to that. ie no chance that it was a moment of madness that she will not repeat.

Coming back to mental issues, I had a conversation with a nurse, she was a nurse during the war, she went on to say that back in the day these modern day mental illnesses just didnt exist, people went to hospital because they were injured or sick with pain and some sort of physical suffering where a doctor would treat them with rest, medicine, physical trainig and therapy, Not anti depresants.

Who and what can we blame for this?


Well it has to be a combination of:

Processed and fast foods, non organic foods that are pumped full of **** that no one really knows how bad they are for us - we are what we eat. If we eat that ****e food are are a druggie. We cant avoid it either - I get that !

People who took drugs when they were younger can and do still get affects of that in later life

Drug abuse - Do accusers that take drugs have the same rights as those that dont. I take sugar hence have to pay for my dental treatment but a pregnant woman does not need to pay, she has done nothing wrong that gives her poor dental health. Smokers are so heavily taxed so that they pay for their treatment in later life.

Doctors too are to blame here because they seem to hand out these anti depresents willy nilly, it also follows that they do it for an easy life to hypochondriacs. I have seen and heard of these people and from doctors they turn up to surgeries, having googled their ailment, asking for their medicine of choice, no concept of explaining the problem to the doctor so he can diagnose it. If he doesnt do as they say then he is no good, it has to follow that they give in.

Not here in the Uk, but I was sat in a doctors surgery, an old boy came in and asked the doctor for some tablets for his knees, he didn't ask or even want the doctor to examine him, just wanted his tablets. The doctor gave him a box, the old boy opened the box to reveal some normal size white tablets (just like aspirin or similar - I assume pain killers) the old boy said "Doctor - these wont make me better, these are not for me" That man would not leave until the doctor gave him some big bright red capsules. Only then he said "yes I will get better with these" Bear in mind the old boy could not read and the red capsules could have been sweets for all we know and the white tablets could have been strong painkillers. I think doctors here too are under pressure too.

I think that if a doctor told a depressed patient to go out more, get a hobby, spend time with friends, join a gym, speak to a counsellor - all the things that give us a feel good factor, those patients would go away and do none of the above then return to the doctor and possibly lie to him - out come the drugs and the person is now on anti depressants forever feeling sorry for themselves, the drugs making the problems worse and we have the culture we have, the internet tells us that depression is used to get council housing !!!

This is the same as people who wonder why they dont lose weight by taking slimming tablets - big money in the weight loss business when we all know that the secret is to eat healthy food, the right amount at the right times and do some moderate exercise. Any personal trainer will tell you that his clients that dont lose weight as they should will be lying about their intake - he will then listen to the lies and keep making money. I am not against big or small people, or old boys - these are just examples of the patient not listening to good proffesional advice and making matters worse for themselves, being overweight is one thing but what I mention about depression etc is quite another when the effects of these people have wide reaching affects, into this forum for instance.

I have seen on this forum advice being given to go see a gp and get help and something to help with the suffering. I too did see that talking to a GP would be a good idea, his advice would be beneficial. Tablets etc is not a route I prsonally would have gone down - Having said that my intake of alcohol did go up - but I only drank in the evenings to help get to sleep. On the face of it, one could say that is the same thing.

[lawlessone2009]

My oh my...

Okay, regards the recording/videoing of consent.

1. The female would probably find it perverted so not actually consent.
2. She'd probably regard you as 'weird' and leave.
3. Even with the best HD video she could still withdraw consent at anytime and chances are the video would be 'broken' at this point.
4. She would most likely become aware of the reasons behind the video/consent route and accuse you of rape because she'd assume you were a rapist through your actions.

With regards the rest. I've battled a lot of thoughts about modern illnesses and older methods along with many other routes and avenues through life. It all boils down to capitalism gone mad. Our minds have been filled with that much junk and our belief systems tampered with to such a degree that we believe, wrongly, that we NEED these things.

Pills for depression, pills for knees, pills for pills... The big pharma companies are making MASSIVE profits through selling a 'solution' to what is a general health condition. Inflict masses of misery on someone and you can expect them to be depressed. Have someone run round like a headless chicken never getting a moment to themselves and you can expect panic attacks and anxiety...

Problem - Solution. The solution is to change the situations.

You've found yourself accused of rape. You've been NFA'd. You have indicated that you have learned from it and you are giving a very deep analysis of the situation and also your thoughts about the future. I've had a lot of those thoughts too and they aren't easy, I'm still stuck in limbo though as I may or may not face trial.

I went through a period of believing that I have brought the situation on myself. I had parents and others TELLING me it was entirely my own fault. I thought my actions HAD actually brought about the allegation in so far as my attitude was wrong. I then thought maybe it is the fact I am a terrible judge of character!

The above paragraph could be a rape victim or a person accused falsely of rape! We're one and the same!!! Difference is that the government don't see it. They offer compensation to 'probable' rape victims but not 'probable' falsely accused.

The damage done to a falsely accused, in my opinion, is far greater than a genuine rape victim.

How do you go about proving something that didn't happen didn't happen ?

One man and his solicitor against the enormous resources and strength of the 'state'.......

What desperately needs to be done is the obsession with 'justice' needs to be thrown to the winds and instead a scientific approach taken where EVIDENCE is physical and quantifiable rather than literal!

Again, it's harder to get convicted of speeding than it is rape. My above paragraph may not be the 'solution' but things need to swing in the opposite direction than they are just now.

[123]

Something needs to change:

Women have to be protected from Rape equally Men have to be protected from FA's

What a nightmare this is !!!

[123]

Recording Video etc

Recording Video etc would not really work unless you record &save every moment of your entire life forever - that is stupid and not that easy to do.

[RFLH]

can I point out -

[lawlessone2009]

Quite forgot what the topic was....

Thought evolution was taking place before my eyes there... Either that or a rant about justice or the lack of it...

PS: Don't contact your false accuser, just in case it's not already been stated.

[RFLH]

its tempting to go off on one - but it does get up other posters (and mods) noses and could get you in deep doo!