Accused of Rape - Date Rape as some say.

[RFLH]

perhaps they think you'd have enough commonsense to steer clear!

Being so old I have earned the right to say what I think - believe me that's mild!

[fighter]

Put it another way, Police should not be telling NFA's its ok to contact the FA, surely there is a moral / ethic / good advise to the public code they should follow

Police would be the last people I would ask for advise on moral/ethic/public code at the moment. I dont think you have completely absorb what people here has been saying.

[LS]

Commonsense should tell you to avoid her. She's hurt you once, she can do it again.

NFA means just that - no further action - it doesn't mean you were cleared, or that she was proven to be a liar. To my way of thinking it's almost left on file for if any further evidence trolleys along.

I'd like to talk to my FA with a bit of 4x2, but I'm still here because I haven't.

[Saffron]

Steady on !!!

I was querying the OIC advise, I expected him to give me the same advise as when he bailed me.

I said that I asked the OIC his advise on contacting her, bear in mind I got the NFA news just seconds before and was all over the place wanting answers - you can imagine.

Since that I have spoken to many people and evert one has said NO - NEVER.

Yes of course I want to speak to her and get answers, that is natural BUT common sense, friends and family tell me not to hence I will not.

I see it like this -

If I dont contact her then I can be 100% sure that she will not hurt me again
If I do then I do not have that guarantee - Not a good Idea - who knows what emotions that could fuel, heaven forbid could end up slapping her and back to square one.

So NO means NO here too !!!

We all want answers, just as you do. I have spent countless hours rehearsing what I would do and say if I ever bumped into R's accuser. Which was unlikely seeing as she lives in Manchester and I live in North Buckinghamshire. But Lo And Behold, I did actually bump into her! At Euston station one Friday morning. I walked staight past her and had to double back to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

Did I do anything? No. I panicked and ran outside for a smoke, shaking like a leaf! When I went back in she had gone. I wish I had done something. Just walked up to her and said "[name]? Hello. I'm [name]. I'm not a liar and you are. What goes around comes around. Remember that." I will never get that opportunity again.

A friend of mine said "you should have kicked her in the ****". But then he added that I would probably have got in trouble for that, and he didn't fancy visiting me in Holloway...

[fighter]

yup and women can be creative with their stories. Piss her off again and she can learn from her past mistake and come up with a more solid story. Just a statement from her with no forensic can bring you to court.

[123]

yup and women can be creative with their stories. Piss her off again and she can learn from her past mistake and come up with a more solid story. Just a statement from her with no forensic can bring you to court.

Oh Yes !!!

Im quite sure that she has not done this before because she made such a pigs ear of it, She told a few lies where she should have told only one and I would have been stuffed.

We hope she does not do this again armed with experience, little to be taken from the fact that it is on record that she has once, her new victim may not know.

[fighter]

yes let us hope for the best. We dont need another false accuser in the world or another new victim. :-)

[123]

Quite right.

Im back at work tomorrow and that is where things start to get back to normal.

Get busy, stay active and wash away those feelings anger, agitation.

One day I want to be able to look back on this and laugh it off - wont happen because I now have to tread on eggshells around any woman - even old friends - for the rest of my life !!!

Have to consider giving up alcohol because a lot of the time I am with a woman then alcohol is involved

It really is a life sentence for us !!!

On a lighter note the urge to do any $hagging is just not there anymore - how sad eh!!!

On a positive note I have to be positive and believe that it is a good job that I got FA'd by this idiot/liar and not someone a bit cleverer. Lesson learnt !!!

I will keep you up to speed on the NC thing as/if it develops, and check in time to time and try help others.


Have a good weekend - Chin Up !!!

[largactyl1]

Please dont be upset - Look at post 44 and 45 - they are the same - it appears that 45 is the same as 44 and is from me.

I did not intend that do not know how it happened

Please would some one remove it.

Yes, thankyou for removing the horrible comment you left me last night, I really appreciate it.

Jen

[felix]

I strongly advise not considering pursuit for PCOJ either through police or private prosecution.

Equally, I strongly advise not considering a civil case for defamation nor anything else civil.

If you really want reasons please post asking me, Felix, to explain.

Next, let's be clear, getting from NFA to NC is very, very, very hard and unlikely to be successful. It is highly time consuming.

You mentioned the freedom of information approach (FoI). This will get you a highly redacted copy of your file. "Redacted" means all the interesting bits removed. They will hide behind the fact that they have to protect the accuser's privacy (and possibly other third parties). They have been known to redact the entire accuser's statement. They will certainly redact the CPS's decision making process and decision "in case the file needs reopening on new evidence or other accusations". This particular process takes time and £40 and boring forms. Many Chief Police Officer's think this act should not apply to police files.

This does leave us with two closely connected approaches. 1) NFA to NC, and 2) destruction of files, fingerprints, DNA, and removal of information from Police National Computer (PNC) which might affect an Enhannced CRB check.

Note that neither removes the record of arrest, which has nasty implications for visa applications...

These are closely connected - 2) cannot occur realistically without 1) and if you are trying for 2) you might as well go for 1) at the same time.

Both involve application in writing to the relevant Chief Constable. You write formally asking for what you want. They will respond aggressively asking for information. You respond, and they have 40 days to give a decision and their "often unacceptably brief" reasons. The decision is binding and there is no Appeal - not even the expensive Judicial Review route.

The best route is to ask your MP to write on your behalf. This gives you a practical solution should you get a no - a tabled Private Members question in the House of Commons to Ken Clarke, potentially naming you AND your accuser which will be reported in Hansard and which you can then publish yourself. You begin to see what might unwind.....

Now, before you get excited, an NFA after the typical 6 months for Rape of an Adult is unlikely to be taken up by the MP. However, an NFA after less than a month or, as applies strangely in my case, a rather weird and unusual "Decision Not To Proceed" after 6 months, might give reason. Or if the accuser was in a statutory position of trust such as a solicitor or an elected official.

But you can only try. Write (email) your MP with the bare details and see if he will write on your behalf to the Chief Constable.

Look at Liberty site for suggested form of words for the second letter from the MP. Also there is an MP who has a bee in her bonnet about DNA and Civil Liberties who may help..

[123]

Felix

Look at Liberty site for suggested form of words for the second letter from the MP. Also there is an MP who has a bee in her bonnet about DNA and Civil Liberties who may help..

I tried but found nothing, could you post some links for me to follow.

thanks

[123]

Felix

I tried but found nothing, could you post some links for me to follow.

thanks

Once again I have looked at the liberty website and have not found anything - Please be kind enough to post some links that would point me in the right direction

thanks again.

[Rights Fighter]

The leave to appeal hearing I went to in London last Wednesday came about after the (now) prison inmate had attempted to sue the accuser and her mother after they spread nasty rumours in relation to alleged child sex abuse, about him. The court found in his favour and they stood to lose hundreds of thousands of pounds in court costs and compensation to him.

When they realised this they went off to the police and turned their rumours into official complaints. Due to the inept defence team this massive motive to lie was never actually put to the jury in full.

Obviously he was convicted and there is now a fight ongoing to clear his name. We have to remember that most appeals fail because of the way they are conducted and the admissibility of "fresh" evidence rulings.

If anybody intends to sue the liars and their cohorts I would suggest that (if you can afford to do that) then do it AFTER you have been cleared.

[123]

NFA to NC

I dont feel the desire to pursue a private PCoJ, however if the police do it then naturally they have my support.

I am keen on help and advice on attempting to get a NFA changed to No Crime.

This I intend to pursue, if I get it then great! if not then at least I tried. My case was so short and clear cut that I have many reasons to believe that her story was questioned, alarm bells rang even before they arrested me, but they had a procedure to follow.

I have spoken to a senior nurse that worked in a "rape centre" where these women are taken. She has first hand experience of what goes on and has conversations with the police involving these matters. She is kept updated of each case through to the end.

She fully agrees that in my case (the probability is):

That the police would have listened to her and got her statement but quite likely left her in a false sense of security even if they suspected she was lying - Saying she had not been drinking when she clearly had. They would have asked for a urine sample to "help with the case and capture DNA"

Only after interviewing me would they ask her to explain inconsistencies in her initial statement, by then she would quite likely sober and acting differently - some get more dramatic, others less but the patterns are almost always clearly there and the feedback she receives confirms her initial thoughts. It seems that she is rarely surprised by an outcome. In her words "They can tell the genuine from the FA's and they are aware it goes on"

She is clear on the fact that the police do discuss cases with her and quite often they make it clear on who they believe and the course of action they intend to take.

As someone has posted before, they do have to run it past the CPS - that is what takes the time, on other occasions the "victim" may be suffering "trauma" and hanging it out, they have to give her time even if that means months, she can dodge them for as long as she wants but she will have to answer the questions one day for it to proceed.

I am beggining to believe that although the police do take their time, it is the FA's that keep these cases going on for months on end. I read somewhere that it can take months for a victim to come to terms and be able to talk about it. The law does nothing to speed them up and these people do not realise the trauma of the accused.


For those reasons any ideas and advice on getting a NC is welcome.

thanks

[LS]

In fact member 123's so "keen to pass the message around" that he came on here posting derogatory comments about others in his situation and has now been banned.

I hope what goes around comes right back at you a second time, 123. Except we won't be here for you.

Nothing worse than a hypocrite who thinks his sh!t don't stink.