Accused of Rape - Date Rape as some say.

[fighter]

123, be happy you can get the phone soon :-) and your bail is short unlike some of us here. Hope you get an NFA by Friday. Keep us updated.

[123]

Ongoing investigation - Lines of enquiry

General opinion seems to suggest that they are in no hurry to do anything,on the other hand Lawlessone2009 wrote

"Give the accuser time to drop her story, wait on background intelligence on the two of you, see if anyone else suddenly comes forward accusing either of you of anything... Possibilities are endless..."

"They will take the initial statement from her, then you and then go back and question her on irregularities"

That and other posts in this forum raise a few more questions.

Do they in fact give the accuser time to drop her story, if so how much ??

IF she was to drop her story, how long would it take for them to tell me??
Is there a procedure to this ??

She has told me stories about her being out and other girls starting fights her (never her fault). Her being out with boyfriends and fights starting - one boyfriend was on PubWatch for this, she said "they were barred from everywhere" I witnessed this behaviour from her twice and the last time was a few years ago, I kept clear of her for a while after that then as time went on forgot about it. Always fuelled by alcohol. Her ex boyfriend once said to me "She is a lovely girl but she should't drink, she is a nightmare when she does" I have never seen it while we have been on a date and we have been on a few. On each date we have both behaved well hence continued to see each other. She told me that another boyfriend had beaten her badly (hospitalised her I think) and stolen everything from her house, furniture included.
I wont say that she is thick but equally not the sharpest pencil in the box - she doesnt get jokes, you have to explain them to her, thats sweet in a way !!

What I am getting at is that, before this I wouldn't have thought that she would be able to tell these lies and keep them up especially if the police were questioning and cross examining her as they do suspects and court witnesses. Especially with the Fingerprint evidence and lack of any marks on me when she quite clearly say's that she did resist ??
She say's that she does visit a therapist and has a nutritionalist, I do believe that she is on some type of depression medication, again I never saw any cause for alarm or vulnerability in her on any dates with her. Sometimes in phone calls she would say that she is having a bad day, even then we would talk and she would perk up. I suppose talking always helps.
I see now that I should have taken heed of her behaviour that I saw in the past and not dissmised it.
Would they take this into account?
Would this character be able keep this act up?
Would they make it easy or hard for her to stick to her original story?

What is background intelligence - What can and do they look for with regard to both parties ??

"Anyone else comes forward" I read that accusers get friends to come forward, is that what is meant here or something else ??

I'm sure they will have questioned her on irregularities, I am confident that the fingerprints taken from cups etc will make it diffcult for her. Hard to believe but will they tell her this and give her any chance to tailor her story now bearing in mind that her version was discussed in my recorded interview.

I see that my bail is unusually short - Is that a good thing or a bad thing, can it indicate anything ?

I have got my phone back so soon yet others wait months and some lose it forever - does that indicate anything, does it suggest that its not required as evidence ??

Thanks and so Sorry but so many questions !!! It's the not knowing that is the killer !!!

[Saffron]

Unless the police suspect that she is lying it is highly unlikely that any inconsistencies will be probed. She could easily claim that the "trauma" has made her confused. R's accusers opening statement was "I woke up to find a colleague lying on top of me having sex with me". Pretty clear, yes? She later decided that that hadn't happened at all, and that he was sitting beside her touching her genitals. Just an example for you!

People wiith MH issues are seen as "vulnerable" and that makes them more likely to be raped, not less. IMHO it also means that they are more likely to fabricate an allegation, but the two are not mutually exclusive.

Even if she does withdraw the complaint the case could still proceed to charge and trial using her initial interview as evidence. This is not a common occurence, particularly in cases where consent is being contested, but it could in theory happen.

If Plod find any evidence that her initial statement doesn't tally with forensic evidence such as fingerprints, she will be given the opportunity to explain the discrepancies and amend her statement accordingly.

As for how long this all takes, well, hard to say. If you are in a city or large town the wheels tend to move slower because of the caseload the local plod are dealing with.

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear!

[fighter]

Sorry if this isn't what you wanted to hear!

But definitely helpful to hear too for 123. The forum is here to give support by making you feel better as well as keeping you well informed Sometimes knowing the facts is scary or not what we wanted to here but at least we are prepared :-)

I like that especially from Saffron :-) very gentle in saying what to be expected and always remembering to say sorry if this isnt what you wanted to hear just shows more understanding!

[Saffron]

Aww, thanks Fighter!
Incidentally while we are on the subject of the forum (this is off-topic I know) I would like to say a HUGE thank you to you. You've been a great asset to us, offering practical and emotional support to all even though you must be absolutely terrified yourself.
Thank you

[lawlessone2009]

Saffron and fighter................ GET A ROOM!


Do they in fact give the accuser time to drop her story, if so how much ??

There is generally a long time between the initial statement and things escalating (unless you are in Scotland...). This is for various reasons but one being that either party may change their tune. There are really that many reasons that delving into giving you a concrete answer isn't possible.

IF she was to drop her story, how long would it take for them to tell me??

Generally quickly. Chances are she won't drop her story though, she'll be busy counting out what she's going to spend the £11000 on... Sorry, I got sidelined there but please be aware that there are more incentives to continue the story than there are to discontinue it...

Is there a procedure to this ??

No. Just a retraction of statement as far as I know. Not sure if it's technically possible to actually retract it once made but it can be 'altered' (Rights Fighter could advise for definite). It can also be stated that they don't want to be a witness for whatever reason and generally this is respected although the police and prosecution start baby talking anyone that does this back into being witnesses...

I see now that I should have taken heed of her behaviour that I saw in the past and not dissmised it.

Love is blind...

Would they take this into account?

Doubtful.

Would this character be able keep this act up?

It's surprising how well some people are able to present themselves in public. Just when you think it's not possible they go and surprise you and everyone else...

Would they make it easy or hard for her to stick to her original story?

They're not particularly bothered. If they go to court they go to court, if not then they'll quickly get another rape case to work on anyway... Never ending job. They could make a big deal if she goes in and admits lying...

What is background intelligence - What can and do they look for with regard to both parties ??

Check out if there have been previous allegations either against you/her or made by you/her. Check out previous convictions. Check out any previous involvement with 'the state' that's on record. Delve into you and her social standings and LIFE... Sky is the limit these days with the amount of intelligence the state keeps on the individual...

"Anyone else comes forward" I read that accusers get friends to come forward, is that what is meant here or something else ??

Could be someone from the past who now feels, for whatever reason, that you raped them too... It happens! Let everyone out and start talking to other people and BANG, another accusation that gives strength to the original and also encourages the authorities to get a case before the courts...

I see that my bail is unusually short - Is that a good thing or a bad thing, can it indicate anything ?

Good that you have bail so it's a good thing... Doesn't matter so much if it's short or long, you're still on bail. Maybe they're expecting things to come to closure quickly?

I have got my phone back so soon yet others wait months and some lose it forever - does that indicate anything, does it suggest that its not required as evidence ??

Surprising! Very surprising. Maybe the station tech geek was having a quiet day... Maybe your initial interview and her interview have given enough details and the phone isn't really needed for any purpose...

[123]

No Further Action

I don't know how I can thank all of you enough, the support & concern you guys have shown here is overwhelming.

I got a call from the OIC Just before 5pm today telling me that "No Further Action will be taken due to insufficient evidence" They cant wont tell me if she retracted, changed her tune and told the truth, if the forensic evidence undermined her credibility - Nothing !!!

Is There any way to get that info

It's been just 3 weeks and 3 days and I consider myself very lucky (I was arrested 5am Christmas Day)

I know now that I was lucky that she didn't think this through, had she twisted her lies slightly then I may have found myself in a different place right now! From the little knowledge I have, if she had told only one lie not three then things could have been very different, I wont elaborate as I dont wish to educate False Accusers.

My heart and good wishes go out to you guys that have been tortured for months on end.

I thought I would be happy If and When I got the NFA but in reality it reduced me to tears, I went for a walk, my legs were still shaking an hour later and I smoked 20 fags in that hour. It is now sinking starting to sink in.

Once again THANK YOU to ALL of YOU - YOU HAVE BEEN LIKE FAMILY these last few days.

Yours Very HUMBLE

123.
Ps. If any of you guys feel that I may be able to help in anyway with my limited. short experience- feel free to email me.

[RFLH]

oi - cut down on the fags, they're bad for you!

I'm so pleased to read this, remember that your emotions will be all over the place for a while to come yet -= so keep coming back if you want to shout.

[Casehardened]

It's been just 3 weeks and 3 days and I consider myself very lucky (I was arrested 5am Christmas Day)

What an awakening on Christmas Day! Well done for keeping it together and congratulations on getting a 'belated Christmas present'

[Verity]

I'm relieved that this was a short nightmare for you.

You can help others by educating all your mates to be very wary before getting into bed with anyone regardless of the type of relationship and to be very aware that any sexual activity has the potential of landing them in the situation you found yourself.

The more men pass this message to their fellow male the more will be aware of the False Allegation industry and the more males will be able protect themselves.

We live in dangerous and vindictive money grabbing times.

VJ

[RFLH]

well said Verity.

[billykickass]

Yep i agree that is what i hope to pass on after my ordeal. But im really happy for you mate its over now go enjoy your life.

[Saffron]

WAHEY! brilliant news. Time for some dancing bananas, methinks!

(ooh, can't find the dancing banana icon for some reason.....)

As others have said, your emotions will be all over the place for the next few weeks; possibly months. This is normal. Please don't hesitate to come here and rant/rave/assist others. People like you are the lifeblood of our little forum. If you have found us helpful please do give something back, if you feel you can...However, if you just want to walk away we will understand.

I wouldn't say that you are lucky, but I agree that you are fortunate in that your NFA came so quickly. However it must have seemed like aeons to you.

So pleased for you. Hoping for good news from other members soon too.

Edit to add: Lawlessone, YOU ARE A CHEEKY MONKEY!!! As far as I know, Fighter is female and that has never been my scene.

[123]

Emotions

I'm so pleased to read this, remember that your emotions will be all over the place for a while to come yet -= so keep coming back if you want to shout. :

RFLH

You are so right, I've had a rollercoaster of emotions just in the last few hours but I am a level headed man and have been on the phone to friends and family all that time and my thoughts now are this:

That fatefull night an argument erupted and I probably said a few choice words to her and kicked her out on Christmas eve, a special night of the year that she chose to spend with me, she does have other friends and family. I know that I can be quite hurtful with words if someone pisses me off so I probably did provoke her to do something silly. I have to learn from this and control my emotions and my mouth for sure. Equally what she did is wrong, cruel, indefensable and in no way can be condoned, compared to others my trauma was fairly short - easy to say now! she obviously has issues that need to be addressed. As I said in an earlier post that I know this girl and this is the last thing I expected from her, it cannot have been easy for her these last few weeks being examined, questioned and doubted.

IF she retracted then I thank her for seeing sense and doing the right thing.

IF her conscience got the better of her and she confessed she made it up then I respect and salute her.

IF it was really insufficent evidence and she stood firm all the then I feel sorry for her and her kids.
She wil have heard from them now and she will have to deal with the fact that she lied and they know she lied - surely that has to be demoralising. She will now be wondering what to do if I choose to confront her (I dont but she does not know that) now that I am liberty to do so. I did discuss this with the DC and he wasnt botherd if I did or didnt - he would be right to tell her that the idea was discussed. Having been battered senseless before by an ex, god knows what is in her head.

For these reasons I will not be vindictive towards her, quite the opposite. I sincerely wish that she sort herself out and move on from this as a better person having learnt some valuable lessons from this and emerge as a respectable lady who is ashamed and apologetic for this glitch in her life.

We both can and should use this experience to become better people.

I know there will be those of you that will think I am soft and that she is a Mothers C*nt - dont let me hold you back - she is no friend of mine. It is my way of moving on.

Justice has been done and I will celebrate that and only that, I cannot raise a glass to being tortured for the last 3 weeks, todays news is a relief - no more.

She is skint but this was never about money for her - im sure.


VERITY
I am passing the message around

SAFRON
I do believe I got a decent DC as my OIC - he has been good all the way through.


Once again thanks everyone, my sincere best wishes to you all.

[fighter]

What else can I say??

remember what everybody said to you about this experience. Educate others and continue to be thankful :-) and of course you are welcome to continue providing support to people, especially those who would have the similar situation to you.

You bring hope to the forum that police can work faster on cases and that NFA is still one of the decisions :-)