Don't know what to do

[tormented]

Can anyone help, it's a sticky and confusing situation. On one hand I am falsely accused of raping my wife of three years and on the other hand I am the victim of sexual assault by her brother in-law so in reality I am the victim in both cases.

My wife and I went to my wife's brother in-law. We had a dispute so I thought I'll get him involved to resolve it but when we got there things turned bad to worse. After hearing us out he just said to my wife "Do you want to live with him?" Naturally, my wife was angry at the time, so she replied "No." Then he asked me and I replied "Not under these circumstances." All of a sudden he said "Well, that's settled, it's a divorce." I was shocked and said "If that's the case, I want my money she holds in her account with other of my belongings," hoping that this will make them change their mind, but no, he just goes and gets a pen and a book and makes a list of items belonging to me and her and gets us both to sign the list.

So then my wife and her sisters are sent into the other room by my wife's brother in-law. He comes back and says that my wife is refusing to give me my money and other belongings until I get her a UK visa. At this time he is sitting on the opposite side of the room from me and then says that he can get me my money and other things and also send my wife home with me if I do as he says.

I ask "What?" and he then gets up and sits next to me and puts his hand on my lap and very slowly shifting his hand between my legs and rubbing my genitals. I then just froze with shock and horror. This must have been for about 1 to 2 minutes.

He propositioned me for sex (we don't need the graphics, thanks). I told him to move his hand away or I would shout. I got up to leave and he then followed me to the outside door and said "Look i'm not going to do it here. I have a garage around the corner."

I can not tell this to anyone as it will destroy me so I decided to keep my mouth shut, especially as no one will believe me anyway. He is well respected. After this incident I feel really dirty, disgusted and low. Four days after this I had a severe panic attack and I lost partial control of my speech and on the fifth day after this incident he got my wife to make a false rape allegation against me.

I was arrested on the seventh day after and was interviewed and released on bail . I never raped my wife I still love her. I did not tell the police about this incident because of what this would do to me. I would not be able to look my children in the eyes. I already feel dirty and low. He made my wife make allegations against me as my wife is a visitor here in the UK and she can now get a visa on the grounds of domestic violence, and also he can now hide his own sins too.

I really felt broken down the other day so rang to see if I could meet up with a trusted friend. We met and I told him about this. He too said for the sake of my self respect just to let go of this as nothing will ever come out of it as they have falsely reported me for rape and the police will only think I am doing this to get back at him.
But he did say that I should go and see my doctor for my depression, which I did. He asked what brought this on so I told him, but the doctor said I must report it to the police, but I said I can't. He asked if there was anyone else I could talk to, so I said possibly my brother.

Please help me what should I do.My wife's brother in-law who sexually assaulted me takes kids to school as a job any legal advice . please please help as I feel suicidal

[LS]

Regarding the sexual assault by your brother in law - you only have two choices:
1. Report it to the police
2. Forget it.
3 There is no option 3.

You are still entitled to report an assault of any type, even if you are on bail for another.
So, reporting it to the police would be my advice.

[RFLH]

I'm with LS - there's children to think of too.

I can understand why you are reluctant to do anything, but honestly - you have nothing to lose and hopefully a lot to gain by reporting it.

[fighter]

Tormented,

Sorry to hear about your story. I also echo the suggestions, report the guy to the police especially as his jobs gives him access to kids.

About the wife, shouldn't you warn the immigration office that the relationship has broken down and that you are being forced by the brother in law to get her a UK Visa. Don't let this family use you.

It can be your word against theirs but you can always get a specialist to defend you.

[largactyl1]

I'm with the others here Tormented.

You need to make a report to the police and also that you are being blackmailed into getting a visa for your wife. Blackmail is a serious crime. I think your wife and bro-in-law think that they have all of the cards and they are preying on your feelings of powerlessness.

Go to police ASAP.

[tormented]

I have already reported my wife to the UKBA about her status in the UK and that I no longer support her application. I have learned from the UKBA that she has submitted a new application I can only think that this new application is based on domestic violence This is one the motives for the false rape allegation

[fighter]

well done for reporting her to UKBA. I just read through this and she has to prove that she was a victim of domestic violence before her permanent residency is approved. Maybe this new application will be helpful for your case if you are charged.

This is another ridiculous law; another motive to encourage false allegations. My gosh!! Come here, be abused and you get a permanent residency. This is the second case for same motive in this week.

Tormented you may look for the thread of Matt. It is similar to your case; the wife also requested for UK Visa.

[fighter]

look at the thread started by mattys9 with a title help.

[tormented]

I have read about uk immigration she can not get her stay under domestic violence as she entered uk on a visitor visa and not a spousal visa so there for she can apply under domestic violence but will be refused

[fighter]

oh thats okay then; now I wonder what they will say to you now? maybe you need to really report to the police.

[tormented]

I have reported this matter to the police this late afternoon they have asked me to come back tomorrow to make an official statement. So i'm going back to the police station in the morning . I would like to thank every one on this board for helping me find my strength to report this matter. thank you once again

[RFLH]

good luck and let us know how you get on.

[fighter]

Good luck tormented. Sending you courage and strength for doing this. It is a difficult task, but this is a good start. Take care.

[Faith]

Good luck, tormented.
You have done the right thing

[tormented]

the police did ask me to make a list of all the people I have talked to about this incident .Should I mention to them about this website too