Charged with rape but innocent - please help with any advice you can give

[barney]

Joan, can I just tip my hat in admiration to you and all the other partners especialy my own, that have stood by us and never doupted us for a second. Wthout your support these vile creatures would have already won as some of us would be in the looney bin already.
I truely, sincearly and whole heartedly pray for a good result for you.

Take care

[lawlessone2009]

Legal team, Legal team, Legal team...

If you can focus on little else at the moment then this is where you should be looking. Everyone is giving the right advice, post up the name of your solicitor and Rights Fighter will let you know what's what with them. Everyone is an 'expert' these days....

Further to everything that has been said, you mentioned DNA... Couple of points:

1. Was the 'victim' swabbed for your husbands DNA?
2. Has the bed been checked for the victims DNA?
3. Vaginal fluids can be differentiated from normal DNA in the same way as sperm can be (I've been doing some reading in this area!) so the actual bed where this is alleged to have taken place should have been checked. Is there any indications of her DNA being there in the manner described?


I don't for one minute doubt your version of events. The problem that you face is one that many face, once the allegation is made the Police and CPS seem to spend more time proving it to be true than actually considering it may be false. Targets driven prosecution... Sickening.

You'll need to get a firm grasp on what to look for in the statements. The Police have a habit of 'box ticking' when it comes to interviewing (is it objective interviewing?) and the statements might well paint the worst picture ever BUT only because the Police have asked questions in a certain manner to extract answers that suit their opinions. Do not get angry if it appears your partners friends have suddenly made him out to be a monster, it's likely not to be the case!

It's a waiting game at the moment unfortunately and it hurts. It eats you from the inside out. It could very well put excessive stress on your relationship, causing blow outs and arguments. Being on the forum and having others around to help you, people who don't know you or judge you in anyway, is a good thing for filling in the gaps of uncertainty. You've probably got far more questions than you can get answers for just now, it's all normal.

I would advise getting stuck into work, keeping really busy, and whenever you and your partner are both free go and have some 'together' time. The hardest part seems to be to staying positive!

The newspapers shouldn't publish anything until there is a trial and most likely even only when that's finished. If the papers published every rape allegation then there'd be sod all else in the paper..........

[lawlessone2009]

I feel I should just clarify my questions angle.

From what you've indicated the Police forensics indicate that your husband has been in the spare bed and most likely at some time 'relieved' himself. There is absolutely NOTHING odd about this, men do these kinds of things...

Where sex takes place there are 'fluids' involved. These can be broken down reasonably easily by their chemical makeup. A woman produces fluids and a man produces fluids, these both have a different chemical makeup. It appears that your partners fluids have been identified but has the womans?

Have a little read:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pre-ejaculate

Pay particular attention to the 'Function' area and get the visualisation in your mind of the processes involved and you will see where I am coming from. It's not hard to identify when sex has taken place. The forensics examiner may have been mis-directed by the Police and focused simply on attempting to prove your partner had been in the bed when they should really have focused on whether there was a high probability of sex having taken place. It's not an exact science as they always keep telling you but it does give a reasonably strong indication of probability and could be more than enough to sway a jury, in my opinion of course.

[daki]

Everyone has been spot on with their info, remember that the presence of DNA

Does not automatically mean guilt, a good defence team can argue secondary transfer, or prove the DNA was transferred from her to The bed to you or whatever the case may be.

That's why it's so important speak to Chris saltrese and speak to Gerry McDonald If it's not privately funded give them a call ASAP my old defence team almost got me to plead guilty to a crime I was innocent to

Time and tide waits for no man

[Rights Fighter]

Solicitor Chris had a success last January with a case that involved DNA. The applicant's wife had gone from solicitor to solicitous trying to get help and was turned down until she got to Chris.

I attended that appeal and the judge's actually said that any cases involved that particular expert for the Crown should be investigated. The DNA in that case was the convicting "evidence". The expert had got it wrong.

I heard the presiding judge tell the appellant "your ordeal is over. You may leave this court an innocent man" or words to that effect. He had spent five years in prison.

[Saffron]

Welcome Joan, sorry I am late coming here.
I can't add anything to the excellent advice that has already been given (thanks everyone!) but wanted to say welcome.

[lawlessone2009]

Indeed RF, DNA is seen incorrectly all too often.

It's been deliberately mis-sold to the public on a dramatic scale.

I just found it very odd that the Police go to all the trouble of proving someone's been in a bed in their own house and possibly 'relieved' themselves there too when in actual fact they should be focusing on proving the women was in the bed and most likely had sex there too. Saying that the sex involved the gentleman is a little more tricky but not too hard to squeeze by a jury.

[Joan1978]

Morning All,

The solicitor is Mary Monson, has anyone heard of them ??

My partner said he will ring Chris Saltese on monday, got him to talk the other night which i hope has helped a little for him. Just horrible knowing there is nothing i can do to make it better, feel sick to my stomach about it today so think it may be a bad one.. Been feeling so strong about it all, maybe its the prospect that he still hasnt told his family and they have got to know just in case it does go in the papers!!! I just think they need to know asap, i cant face them and not tell them.. Has anyone any advice??

Daki and Barney thank you for giving me some insight in how it feels for him, i will always stand by him as i know there is just no way he would do this.. He said the other day he hates that hes putting everyone through this and thats why he doesnt want to talk, dont think he wants me to know how bad he feels but i can see it in his face already and its worse not knowing whats going on in his head!!

[Rights Fighter]

Unfortunately, I can only say that I have yet to hear positive things about the sols who work at Mary Monson solicitors.

[fighter]

Joan,

I hope things will get going for you in terms of your defence team.

About telling the family and friends, my partner was the one who told them but he didnt use the word rape at once at the beginning of the story. It is a disgusting word that he cannot say.. I can remember my partner saying to his friends.. "have you heard of them (family) becuase we also didnt know if they had heard of the allegations. Most said no.. and my partner said. "you would not believe what they did to me"... they had me arrested last (Month) and made up stories. Then we slowly tell them the lies. We use the word "abuse" or "assaulted"; the friends get from the story that it was sexual. I dont know how it helps but my partner could not use the word "rape". Even me, I cannot use it in the beginning; it took time for me to say the word in my story.

Oh Joan, yes i guess it is normal for your husband not to talk. It happened to my partner also.. I just saw him staring into space, shaking his head; sighing. And at night I hug him to give him comfort but I can feel he is still in shock. It was as if his body and mind has turned numbed especially the day he was arrested. Afterwards, when he got over it after few days;he would hug me real tight as if to erase all the pain and to ensure we have each other. He said if not for me he would have gone to the accuser and handle it and deal with them. I was scared for days that one day he would just lose control and do that.

Thankfully that feeling went away...and here we are surviving.. Sorry this is long!

[Joan1978]

Thanks for yet more advise, it is a horrid word isnt it.. i did think of using the word attacked, at the moment hes refusing to tell anyone anything and gets angry if i so much as dare say anything about it.. Hes petrified and i can understand why, what i dont understand is why this girl is doing it to us ?? what do these people get out of destroying someone else's life!!

I just feel so helpless...

[fighter]

yes joan, i remember we told his friends and family 10 months later; and a week after on my partner was charged so things have been processed well in our minds and the shock has worn off. For the side of my family who are not in the UK, I certainly filtered out things and make it vague and assure them we had a good case.

I guess you have to wait for him when he is ready and that is one way of showing support also.

Girl's do it for various reasons sometimes senseless one, just to teach a guy a lesson; getting attention, revenge to a more greedy one for compensation.

Hang in there Joan, once you get the defence team organized you will be feeling more confident.

[Joan1978]

Thanks fighter, just feel totally out of control.. Think i have been doing the wrong thing even though it was for right reason by pressuring him to tell his family, adding stress he probably doesnt need!!! I cant imagine how he must feel of been accused of this horrid thing never mind having to tell his family, they arent my family and its not for me to make that decision as you say i have just got to stand by him and be there for him.

You are right about the defence team at the moment, i know nothing just we go the magistrates next month. he said he will phone the solicitor on monday and hopefully i will know more, think im more frightened because he doesnt seem to want to phone them (think if he does it will make him realise this is real!!) suppose he could still be in shock though and again im pushing him and stressing him out.. I really need to back off dont i and let him sort things out in his head without me constantly questioning him about things !!!

x

[Rights Fighter]

Whereabouts are you in the UK Joan? The county will do.

[fighter]

ah Joan, I know what you are saying. I am the one who reminds my partner to call the solicitor. I think it is one way of denying it is happening. I usually wait for him when he is in a better mood; then he be easier to push to call the solicitor. For him, it is always like an achievement to put a call through a solicitor and then we would go out for awhile to celebrate that achievement.

We need to be sensitive at this point. If my partner starts talking about it then I go with it; if he didnt I avoid trying to bring it up. yes it is very hard!! But since I have been researching I tell him good news (things that would help our case) so thats okay, it lifted his spirit. But I did tell him to shut me up if he doesnt want to talk about it. I just realized when he goes on computer and start on his project it means he wants to be alone and his space.

One thing I also avoid is crying in front of him; he said he cant take it and it might push him to do silly thing; violate his bail conditions. Another hard thing to do.. but I got used to it :-)

Yes dont pressure him too much; or else he can just do anything. The magistrate next month-- is it the first or second hearing> or the trial itself?