Charged with rape but innocent - please help with any advice you can give

[Joan1978]

Hi All,

This is a living nightmare which i know is about to get a whole lot worse. My partner was questioned on rape and bailed. The solicitor said they didnt have anything and wouldnt be charged. He has been charged and i dont know what to do.

Short version of the story.

After a night out 2 lads and this girl who was pursuing one of the other lads have come back to our house, i have gone to bed and slept. i woke and heard them all laughing an chatting so got up as it was morning and everything was normal and fine, she was lying on the settee in my partners jumper which he had given her due to her been cold.. i have gone back to bed and was awake watching tv. i got up a few hours later after partner came to bed and she was asleep in his jumper in the spare bed and the 2 lads in the living room.. everyone slept through the day and then one of the lads friends have come an picked them up, she got up thanked me for a fab night and was laughing and smiling. she has then left in his jumper, she went back to the lads house she was pursuing and went back to sleep..

The next day we where advised that she had accused my partner of this but she couldnt decide to go the police or not and left us hanging for 3 days, we considered going to the police to tell them ourselves we where that distraught, he was interviewed and bailed. she said she thought he had drugged her and she couldnt move with fright when it happened, she told someone this. She told the police she cried out for help. its a small house with awful sound proofing and this supposidly happened in the room next to me, she told the person it was light when it happened but told police it was 7 in the morning which is dark at this time of year.

he was re interviewed and told there was his dna on the bed but as its our bed and we both sleep in it on occassions thats no surprise. It could be skin cells or sperm, sorry to be vulgar but hes male and has had a few slept in spare room and sorted himself out (really sorry for the way thats put but wasnt sure how else) solicitor told us not to worry they have nothing.. He has been charged now, the police have rung me to tell me we will be called to court and told me they wouldnt charge him if they didnt think they would get a conviction and they have forensics!!!

I know 100,000% he has not done this, i would not doubt him if she had said it had happened on a night out somewhere else but the fact she has said this happened with me in the room next door, there is just no way on this earth he would risk cheating on me never mind attacking a girl !!!

if anyone can give me any help or advise i would really appreciate it.

thanks x

[RFLH]

sorry to see you here. Have you got a specialist solicitor onboard? If not you must get one. If you let us know which county you're in then someone may be able to recommend one.

If you've been reading some of the threads, you'll know that there is no rhyme or reason as to whyn some cases proceed and some don't.

Others will be along shortly to fill in the gaps.

[Joan1978]

Hi,

We have got a solicitor who we where told specialises in these types of cases. We live in the manchester region.

We are just so confused and scared at the moment. I have been reading through the feeds and getting some comfort we aren't alone in this, seems there is a lot of sick and twisted females in this world!!

thanks

[RFLH]

oh there are a lot of them out there!

Others will be along shortly to offer you more advice.

[fighter]

Hi Joan,sorry you have to be here for this. welcome to the forum.

I wonder if the two lads with them were interviewed as they would hear something..and also you would as being in the next room. It does sound overwhelming right now hopefully when you look at the statements or transcript of her interview with the police you would see many more gaping holes in her statement. By the way, were the 2 lads with them interviewed also?

That was bad for the police to say regarding conviction and forensics. It is good that you have a specialist with you.

[Joan1978]

Hi Fighter,

im happy to see you have responded to this as i have been reading your feeds this morning and the reason i posted as could see the help you have given people and saw what has been happening with yourself!!

We have all been interviewed and told we will be called at the court, i feel sick as they have said it will be in the papers. Always has baffled me as to how they can name before they know the truth, i could understand if they had been proven guilty but no our names could be in local paper for all to see which will effect ur lives and possibly our jobs !!!

x

[fighter]

Yes joan, we are basically in the same position; standing by our partner. My partner's case is a historic rape allegations (14 to 17 years ago) and it has no forensic, no other evidence except statements. As you read on you would realize, word of the accuser is enough for a person to be charged! outrageous

Can your solicitor asked for restrictions for it not to be on paper? I cant remember well but in our case, our solicitor assured us my partner's name wont appear in any paper because of a restriction. Sorry, somebody in the forum might know more about this. Everything is so unfamiliar, sometimes things are said and you have to process it later.

By the way who said it will be on papers? the police?

[Joan1978]

Hi,
Yes they told one of the other witnesses after we go to magistrates it will go in papers!!! We havent told all the families yet and are petrified to do this as its a huge bombshell and such a horrid thing to have to tell people.. I know that everyone who knows him will believe its all lies and support him but its still so frightening saying it out loud and now the threat of the papers is looming over our heads....

i have told my partner to ask about this restriction and lets pray we can get this as it would take a huge weight off our shoulders, least its one less thing to worry about.

x

[fighter]

I hope you get the strength to tell your family before they hear it somewhere else. Friends and family of my partner also believed he didn't do it. For 10 months we were quiet as the police advised us, so we were surprised when we talked to people, they havent heard of the allegations. The accuser and the family was silent about it!

But you know what, we drew strength from telling family and friends. It lifted our spirit that they believe in my partner's innocence. However, be prepared to spend time with them. Tell the story to them, and also tell them about how this issue has been going on (how women have various motives and how easy the process of accusing somebody and having them arrested, and yes sometimes it is senseless). We take about 2 or 3 hours every time we visit a friend to tell them. You have to wait for them to calm down, they become upset, shock, and somehow you also have to appear strong in front of them or they get more upset.

You can also start thinking now who could be your character witnesses for your husband as when we were charged that's the solicitor told us.

[RFLH]

thanks fighter, informative and helpful as usual.

[Rights Fighter]

She's brill isn't she? I don't have to answer queries on here so much!!! Saves me a lot of time and energy!

[RFLH]

I have to read more though!!

[Rights Fighter]

Gives you something to do!

[Joan1978]

Thanks so much fighter, i hadnt even thought about character witnesses!!! Rights fighter you are right she is definatly brill and given me alot more confidence and advice already, cant thank you enough fighter.

I think im a control freak as it scares me that i dont know what is happening or will happen and how it all happens and basically our lives are in other peoples lives!!

I am baffled how it could get to this stage, surely if someone wanted to attack a girl they wouldnt do it with there partner in the room next door and 2 other lads in another room and why cant the police see this ???

x

[fighter]

RFLH and RF, thanks. I hope I am saying the right things though. As you can see I think I am having a hard day as I needed to be in the forum all day . Sometimes, I think something is wrong with me. I know it gets me through my day without thinking of our case, an escape .

Joan, I am a control freak myself too. I like to know whats ahead and what can be done I dont know how it happened to us also. I was so scared, the accuser would have a big bang surprise for us when we see her statements, but there was more inconsistencies. I guess as some people said, nothing you cant handle wont be thrown to you:-)