Charged with rape but innocent - please help with any advice you can give

[RFLH]

its what the forum is for - to help and support others who are going through the same thing.

Keep using us the way you are - we need people like you.

[Rights Fighter]

It has bog all to do with being a control freak but everything to do with the fact that this is serious and you need to be kept updated. Prior to charge there is not much anybody can do as no paperwork will be available - boxing in the dark so to speak....

[NOHOPE]

Hi Joan

you sound like me a few months ago, my hubby was accused of sexual assault by a female acquaintance. and im sorry to say but yes my hubby did cheat on me with this woman but no not for one minute did he force her so ours is a matter of consent.
we have been to magistrates and first cc hearing but nothing has been in the papers as of yet so hopefully you will be the same.
keep reading the posts on here because if it wasnt for the people on here i would of run a mile and buried my head in the sand. you need to do what someone told me write everything down big or small while its still fresh in your mind. these so called women will get what they deserve. i am also inn the manchester area so please get in touch if you need to talk.

[Joan1978]

Thank you all so much.. i am so happy i have found this website, my world has been falling apart, ive not wanted to go work see people and now i feel i can stand tall, hold my head up high and deal with this head on, got a feeling i will have some VERY bad days but least i now know i have people on this forum who are dealing with the same. My partner at the moment is still in major shock so i just need him to be able to face it and tell family.. Told him about this website so im hoping he maybe able to look at it and also get some strength from others like i have got today.

Nohope i just cannot believe these women do this. I feel so sorry for the real victims who do get attacked because its the likes of these scum bags that the real attackers walk free.. And that is very good advice thank you, set myself a little note thing on my phone so i can do it day or night, its usually middle of the night when panic sets in that i get odd questions and random thoughts that may be useful!! And thanks for letting me know about the papers, Fighter mentioned getting a restriction also its anything just dont want the gossips to start..

Fighter, im really sorry your having a bad day and i know it will probably make no difference to how you feel but just to let you know you have got me through a very dark empty place to day and i given me hope so thank you very much!! I was thinking the same about the accuser having some surprise for us as well as its so strange we went from been sure he wouldnt be charged to been charged so its like something has happened in those few weeks, maybe its me been a skitso and watching to much corrie (haha) end of the day these girls seem to be able to say what on earth they like and get on with there lives, this girls out all the time been on holiday with a large group of males (dont think if i had been attacked id be doing this a few weeks later!!). While we have spent the past months been distraught just trying to be normal, very annoying but nothing we can do about it.

x

[NOHOPE]

i was so scared about it going in the paper and also hubby was scared about telling family and friends but he has told everyone we know now and the support we both got and are still getting is absolutley amazing, not one single person doubted him for a second.
my hubby by the way will not come on this site but i do telll him all about the posts i read so he is getting help from this but just through a third party haha.

i feel much more positive these days but deep down i think i am preparing myself for the worse which is prison but this is just how i am.
when people come on here and share their stories with a good result on the end it makes you feel so hopeful.

wish i could sign ost some of the accusers to this site they will see first hand then the misery they cause innocent people.

[Joan1978]

To be fair they dont care less do they, probably wouldnt even give it a second thought what they are doing to peoples lives.. I cant decide if this girl is doing it for attention or money, from the looks of this forum its the most common reasons as well!!

You shouldnt think the worst but can see why, suppose of you prepare then if it did happen it wouldnt such a shock.. If she has consented to it how on earth can he get found guilty, you have to think the Jury will see through her lies and that is what im thinking.. If you are lying you cant hold the story down it changes and i would expect cross examination isnt the nicest thing if your telling the truth so god knows how it would be if you are lying as well !!! You say you have been the magistrates already and first cc, is that the first court hearing ??

My partner just doesnt seem to be facing it at the moment, think hes still in shock and also scared at peoples reactions, i know it will be evil telling his family but i think once thats over with he may think right lets getting fighting and take this scum bag down. i am very emotional so have just broken down the last few days but once im past that i seem to be able to handle things better, think with support like this i will definately be able to get through and also help him more. Think i will be like yourself and just telling him about whats been said, unless he has a sneaky look when im not in haha

x

[NOHOPE]

no your right they probably wouldnt care even reading things on here.

yes we been to magistrates and been to crown that was to set a date for the case management and plea hearing which is in feb then the actually court date for trial is set for 2 days in august ( i know when this date gets closer i will be on here day and night asking questions ) my stomach turns with just the thought of it.
and i know what byour thinking his word against hers but some of the posts i have read on here i was in total shock as some have been found guilty, but it is my way of preparing i always prepare for the worse scenario.

i have not attended the courts so far with my hubby from the advice off the solicitor, he says best to get in and out and then hopefully the local press dont get involved. think he knows me already i talk before i think. ha god help my hubby if i get called to give evidence.poor sod it might be me sending him down.
see im joking about it now couldnt have done that even i few weeks ago so things do get better well some days they do.

[daki]

Do your own research make sure your solicitor is actually

A specialist ask right fighter, my former solicitor told me the same thing

But wasn't a specialist

[NOHOPE]

i find it hard to do my own research as the accuser is not a child or young girl, what i mean by that she doesnt post a lot on facebook and is not saying a lot to people at work as she knows i also know these people.
its hard to get info from someone who is very sly, but i wont give up we should soon be getting paperwork and when we see the statement that is when we can really get to work. we will not be beaten on this no way will i let my husband face time in prison as the only crime he commited was to cheat on me.
Joan you had witnesses in the house so this most be in your favour.

[daki]

Sorry I meant to say do research into the sort of defence team you have

Make sure they are fit to handle something like this remember they are

Getting paid so alot of them would just say what they think you want to hear ask right fighter if she knows your solicitor or has heard of them or can recommend

When I got my papers I noticed that all accounts of The Allegation as relayed by my accuser where diffrent as she told her mates and plod and how she describes
The alledged assault is not physically possible

Hopefully when you get yours you would see all The lies

[Joan1978]

NoHope we are the same, this girl was on facebook but removed herself and the pictures that have been posted of her partying a few weeks after with the group of lads on holiday !!! Calculating is the word best to describe her.. You have just got to keep looking for the info you need and keep your ear to the ground, she has got to slip up, liars always do.. Yes your husband cheated and its wrong but no way does he deserve any of this and she can not get away with it !! Id be exactly where you are if it where my partner, right by his side and standing by him.. Ive told my partner if people do find out i will stand tall and proud next to him, i love him and know this is all lies and anyone that matters will also know this, sod the small minded people if they dare comment.. haha ill probably be up in court for GBH or murder by the time he gets cleared hahahaha

And yes we do have witnesses but im worried they arent going to tell the whole truth in court, ive heard they are still friends with her. i am trying to find out if this is true or not but very unsure at the moment, i need them to realise that as awful as it is admitting they have sexual relations and so have there friends at individual times and also all in one go (oh yes it turns out shes a charming young lady!!) this is all evidence against her that we need to destroy her with, it will be horrid with people looking on and maybe there family but its our life she is trying to destroy for money or attention or what ever other reason the scum bag has but i need everything to bring her down with!!!

she is messing with the wrong girl, i will fight this tooth and nail.. No one messes with people i love.. Just got to get through this stress and get my head straight first haha x

[gem]

Joan i agree with NOHOPE having 3 witnesses in the house must have some bearing on the case ......

[Joan1978]

Daki, we have heard two stories already.. She told someone before the police who told us and then when she decided to go the police (oh yes she couldnt decide what to do at first) she told a different story !!

I will do as you suggest and ask about my solicitor. I hope you are all sorted now and cleared. I cant imagine for a minute what it must be like to be accused of something like this, is horrid enough just to be the partner and have to deal with it. God knows how you lot must feel !!!

x

[Joan1978]

i hope your right Gem, plus the two different stories she has told people have got to help.. With the witnesses we have though i didnt think there would be a chance he would get charged though !!!!

i think if we have a good solicitor she will not have a leg to stand on !!

x

[daki]

I felt suicidal, this accusation is The worst thing

Ever. I feel much better now though much more confident too

She has given three diffrent accounts of what I allegedly done to her and she has also described an impossible physical position to have been assaulted in

My former solicitor kept saying I had a strong case then last moment tried getting me to plead guilty. I came on this site I got referred Gerry McDonald who instructs Julia Krish he has been amazing thus far.

If you are not 100% certain with yours call him tell him you are a member on here and got refered to him for a chat you would not be disappointed