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Falsely accused of rape by fiance of 10 years, currently on bail.

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  • Falsely accused of rape by fiance of 10 years, currently on bail.

    2 days ago my fiance left for work and never came back. She refused to speak to me on the phone and only sent me a text saying we're over. She's a bit childish and does some silly things sometimes. We've had split up's like this before but soon got back together. She said when we split up that she's going to travel the world with her friend (and pay for her) She has always been broke all her life, she doesn't know how to handle money, only spend it.

    The only reason she has money now, is because she inherited her nans house when she died, and she just sold it for 70k, it's not a lot of money, but it's enough to get a house (when pooled with my money) and that was our plan.

    So now she's going to blow it all on some world trip, she'll be broke again in no time atall. I think she probably doesn't realise how little money that really is, it's not going to last long if you're traveling around the world, and the way she spends money... broke in a month max.

    The tragic thing is that her gran left her that house so she could get on in life, have her own place to live in this country of renters who never get anywhere because rent is so expensive. Her mum is still around, why didn't the gran leave it all to the mother? Because her mother is also bad with money and made bad decisions all through life and now lives by herself in ill health, full of regrets, and is suicidial, infact, we've not heard from her since the one time we spoke to her after she found out the news that her daughter is going to waste the money, she was crying her eyes out and sounded seriously crazy upset. Can't get in touch with her now, it worries me. Her mother could have took her own life, she has a history of mental illness and severe depression.

    Sorry if i'm going off track but i'm building it all up so you get the whole picture.

    So, shortly after my fiance left, i received some messages that made it apparent that she had been cheating on me previously with someone else, and planned to meet him again, it later became obvious that this wasn't the case, but before i discovered this i got very upset, she was going to stupidly throw her life away and she had been cheating, greatly upset, i told her via a message "i'll kill you slut".

    She called the police, they arrested me for that message, an hour later almost, they informed me that she had made further allegations, she claimed i have raped her 4 weeks earlier. An hour later again, they said further allegations have been made, claiming you assaulted her several years ago, on a few occasions.

    Now, the only true allegation is the one where I threatend her over MSN.

    From the moment of being arrested, i've been nothing but calm and cooperative with the police. I had to wait in a cell for 16 hours before a solicitor saw me, the wait was worth it, the solicitor they assigned to me was a very good one, very passionate about his job. I talked with him for close to 2 hours. He gave me a lot of advice, he did tell me that personally he thought i went off topic too much in my responses and i should stick to the point. He said this worried him that they'd eat me alive in the interview because i kept making this mistake.

    So in the interview, which lasted over an hour, I absolutely destroyed the officers who questioned me, he said i answered so brilliantly, and was also calm, i didn't use any "no comment" i answered every single question, he had explained the no comment strategy to me prioer but we decided i didn't need to use any no comments, it's the best he's ever seen anyone do he said, he said the interviewers were paticuarly harsh aswell and he doesn't think even he could have done so well as I did. He was certain the worst i'd get as a result was bail, but probably just a caution for the threatening messages and let off on the others.

    However, they went with the bail, pending further evidence gathering. They have my computer and phone that have chat logs between me and the accuser, but I did not tell them any lies that happend on the chatlogs, she already reported all of that, and i answered the questions truthfully and told them i didn't mean any of it and i deeply regret saying those things. There's also a few stupid things she said to me, that i told them she said, they didn't believe me at first but i told them it's logged so you can see it.

    I should also mention that the day she left for work, she told me "i love you" the next thing i get is a text hours later saying "i hate you". She also said in the text "oh and by the way i like girls not men".

    She also told me she loves me via msn and probably the phone on many many occasions since the alledged rape took place (4 weeks ago). I actually forgot to mention this to them during the interview, would it be worth me contacting them to add this evidence?

    She claims that she has hated me ever since the alledged rape and that she decided it was over at that point, if that is true, then why has she constantly told me that she loves me ever since?

    Dispite what she has done, i still love this woman, i don't think she realises the seriousness of what she has done, the seriousness of a rape allegation, what it could mean for me, and more importantly to her, what it could mean for her. If she is proved to be falsely accusing, my solicitor told me it could mean years in prison for such an offense.

    My bale ends april 10th, the condition is that i'm not allowed to contact her atall. I'm appealing against this condition because the last thing i said to her was I was going to kill you, slut. I didn't mean this and don't want it to be the last thing she remembers me saying to her, i want to say that i am sorry and didn't mean any of it.

    The rape itself she alledges happend 4 weeks ago when were in bed together, we share the same bed every night, have done for 10 years. She alledges that she was asleep and I woke her up and forced her into a sexual position, held her down, and forcedly had sex with her while and claims that she told me to get off and let me know that she was in pain. She lied, blatantly, and repeatedly. We did have sex that night, and she did say she was tired, but i begged her a little, for 20-30 seconds, and she agreed, and she got herself into a sexual position, the one we used most of the time, and it was dead obvious that she had accepted me. She made no sounds of pain and she did not tell me to get off, nor did i have to hold her down, nor did i hold her down in any way. Also, the reason i can recall the night in question is because we've not had a lot of sex recently, no more than 2-3 times a month.

    What do you think the outcome will be based on what you've read? Is there any chance of them actually convicting me of rape? What will it mean for her if 4 more months of wasted police time go by on this and the result is that the allegations were false?

    I'm wondering if i should tell the police that she may fail to understand the seriousness of her allegation and they need to inform her of this and also what it will mean for her if it proves to be false.

    She tried to get me locked away, for a long time, as a result, she herself may get locked away instead. I do not wish this upon her, because I stil llove her, dispite what she put me through with the police and what could have happend. That's my character, i wouldn't wish such harm on her.
    Last edited by CM00; 11 January 2012, 02:24 PM.

  • #2
    Welcome mate and sorry that your going through this as well.

    It seems like you are getting hurt in more ways than one by a very confused woman. I really hope that she sees that you seem to looking for her best interests and comes forward with the truth.

    As for support nobody can tell you exactly what will happen but i know that i keep my chin up by remembering that the solicitors reckon it will be dropped.

    You said your bail runs out in april but dont be shocked if they re bail you after that as im on rebail number 3, now but runs out in a few days and this seems to be the norm.

    Good luck my thoughts are with you.

    Comment


    • #3
      But what happens if she drops the charges? Bail will then be over immediately right? No investigation, no need for bail.

      I'm telling the police that i want the bail restriction removed because it is unfair that i cannot talk to the woman who has been my partner for the last 10 years, and the last thing i said to her was something horrible, i want to tell her i am sorry and didn't mean any of it. We've had splits like this in the past, and we always got back together, but this time the instriction enforced now makes that impossible, the police are going to permanently effect my life in a negative way and it isn't right.

      I also want to inform the police that she may not understand the consequences of her actions, or the seriousness of rape, and making false allegations of rape. If she knew she would not have made the false allegation, that's what i think. She may even drop the charges if she was to find this out. I just want the police to have a firm word with her about the seriousness of all of this.
      Last edited by CM00; 11 January 2012, 03:25 PM.

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      • #4
        Somebody like rights fighter is better advising on these courses of action. But i think you will just have to adhere to the bail conditions ( as breaking them is another crime).

        In my experiences so far i wouldnt expect much co operation from the cops on your side.

        Things might be different if this woman has an ounce of soul she will come clean.
        I hope it can go your way as you want it to.

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        • #5
          hi CM00, welcome to the forum and sorry to hear what happened between you and your fiance. I agree with billyka. You need to follow your bail conditions as you can be arrested for contacting her. I can relate to thinking you can solve it by talking to the accuser; we also felt that when my partner was accused by a former stepdaughter. He knows how to deal with her just as much as you know probably how to deal with your fiance; but that would be violating the bail. You can make matters worse; she can add more allegations (maybe harassment) if you contact her. Think of yourself for now.

          Be patient more members will be coming later on to help you.
          Last edited by fighter; 11 January 2012, 04:45 PM.

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          • #6
            Hello CM00,

            Sorry you had to find your way here but welcome anyway.

            Firstly I just wanted to say I do agree with you regarding the house left to your fiancee: the sensible thing to do would be either to live in it or rent it out; once she's blown the capital how is she going to get on the housing ladder?

            Anyway, that's bye the bye, this isn't a financial forum, so getting back to what will happen to you....as Billykickass said don't expect any help from the police or the CPS in persuading her to drop the case. If they don't think there's any chance of winning a court case they will tell her so and drop the case. Obviously if she does decide to back out from giving evidence then the case is unlikely to go ahead as she is the only witness (apart from yourself) but as others have said please do not try to contact her to persuade her to do this. You could be accused of interfering with a witness which is a serious misdemeanor in itself.

            Take comfort in that you have not been charged and your solicitor thinks you did well in the interview; in cases such as this where the only 'evidence' is the accuser's statement it often comes down to who will be the better witness.

            As Billykickass mentioned this could drag on for a bit so best to prepare for a long haul before you get to hear anything.

            You mentioned that she'd sent you MSN messages and texts after the allegation> I don't do msn but I believe that the messages aren't saved anywhere but disappear? The texts would be useful if they're still on your phone when you get it back from the police.

            Unfortunately none of us can tell you if this will go anywhere or not; it's probably best to be prepared and spend the intervening months planning a defence strategy; then a NFA will be a bonus.

            Finally to end on a personal note: you said you still love your fiancee but I think you should be ready to move on; a relationship is built on trust and after this accusation you will never be able to trust her again... sorry...
            'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

            Comment


            • #7
              Originally posted by Casehardened View Post

              Finally to end on a personal note: you said you still love your fiancee but I think you should be ready to move on; a relationship is built on trust and after this accusation you will never be able to trust her again... sorry...
              I agree with this too. Anyway, I hope you will not be charged. And I think yes, if the charges are dropped, the decision could be no further action and the bail will be dropped. Would you still contact her?? is that why you are asking?
              Last edited by fighter; 11 January 2012, 06:28 PM. Reason: remove some sentences

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              • #8
                I've recently discovered that evidence exists that could prove that she has been maliciously going behind my back and planning this world trip with her best friend, and probably to meet this new lover for several months, or even longer.

                How i discovered this is a bit of digging revealed to me that she registered a new facebook account 7+ months ago. I'll explain why this is such a big deal. A year and a half ago she cheated on me, she used a secret facebook account to meet people, i saw the whole logs after it happend, it was awful, she was so slutty, and all behind my back. This facebook account was kept strictly secret from me.

                After i discovered all of this, i told her we were over. She begged me to take her back, confessed her undying love for me and promised she would never do anything like this again, and also that she would delete her facebook account and never use it again. I deleted it after fully digging through its entire logs. This was a year and a half ago.

                As i said, today i discovered she has a secret facebook account again, and it's quite old, it was made several months ago. The only friend she has added on it is her best friend who she plans to go around the world with. This facebook account will be a treasure chove of her mischievious deeds and plannings to leave me behind my back, for many months before the alledged rape took place.

                Why is this so important? She told the police the rape is the reason she left me, she loved me before this apparently. Many logs of "i love you" and being luvvy duvvy coming from her to my phone and computer exist for months on end both both before and after the alledged rape took place.

                She asked my parents to get her 2 passport application forms about 10 months ago. Why 2? The 2nd was for her friend. This planning to leave me and go on a world trip has been ongoing for many months, all she needed was the money from selling the house, she left the moment it sold.

                She has always been broke and in dept, no clue how to handle money, for the past year she has been trying to sell that house, she obviously was waiting for the house to sell to make a move on her plans.

                Her house sells and she leaves me right away. Immediately upon knowing she would have all of that money, she leaves me and tells me that she hates me, and that she's going to go around the world. She actually accused me of rape on the same day.

                She is playing the role of the bitter EX who wants to get her ex boyfriend in trouble, and she is playing the role perfect. This is a perfect example of that imo, false rape accusation at your ex boyfriend who you just left.

                Does anyone think i should contact the police and get them to sieze her laptop and facebook account? They need to seize the account as soon as they talk to her about it else she could delete the logs that are on it, though i'm not sure if the police could ask facebook to recover those logs.

                This new facebook account has been kept strictly secret from me, just like the last one, and with good reason, because the messages it contains reveals her true intent and would end our relationship. I would bet 10 grand on it.
                Last edited by CM00; 11 January 2012, 07:42 PM.

                Comment


                • #9
                  On the day she accused me of rape, i believe she had a motive to do it, I had access to her MSN because she told me the password and i'd used it for transfering stuff previously. I was using her msn account and talking to people on there, they thought that I was her, and were sharing with me her plans, i learned a lot of info from that, she was online too, and discovered what I was doing, she blatantly freaked out that i was learning everything and told people "don't tell anything, it's not me". She tried several times over 5 minutes to log me off the account and failed.

                  It was 15 minutes later the police came to my account to tell me i had been reported for making threats, and an hour later, a new report of rape. As soon as she saw how easy it was to get me arrested, she decided to go all out with the allegations. She was worried i would learn too much by talking to people, god knows what she didn't want me to find out, but she was so desperate that she got the police to arrest me.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by CM00 View Post
                    Does anyone think i should contact the police and get them to sieze her laptop and facebook account? They need to seize the account as soon as they talk to her about it else she could delete the logs that are on it, though i'm not sure if the police could ask facebook to recover those logs.
                    In my opinion I don't think the police will be interested in linking your fiancee having a relationship outside of yours, with the allegation of rape.

                    I do understand everything you're saying and you have my sympathy but can you visualize that it could be argued that because she was in another relationship that she might be drawing back from a physical connection with you.

                    Far better to concentrate on the timeline: house sale; wanting to leave you; initial accusation regarding the threats; then secondary accusation of rape (i.e. why wasn't this made first as it is more serious?)

                    You know her better than we do; any chance the accusation was made for a financial motive?
                    'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by CM00 View Post
                      It was 15 minutes later the police came to my account to tell me i had been reported for making threats, and an hour later, a new report of rape.
                      Don't quite understand? They came on your msn account to tell you this? In your first post you said they initially arrested you for making the threats?
                      'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Hi there,

                        So sorry that you find yourself in this position, but this is a brilliant site for help and advice and a place to let off steam. Sounds like your False Accuser has weaved quite a web, previously you said that maybe she didn't realise the seriousness of these accusations but accuse you she has.

                        I would ask advice re. the FB account from your solicitor - and take screen shots if you can (not cut and paste). Write a time-line of everything that has occured before the allegation and her behaviour after. Store any messages, texts etc. Keep all evidence safe with a trusted friend or your solicitor if you prefer.

                        It all is a hellish shock for you - and I would imagine - particularly devastating that a person you loved has done this to you.

                        Get your fighting boots on as you need to be totally pro-active.

                        Kind regards
                        Jen
                        False Accusers Beware: You have chosen to dine at the Karma Cafe. There is no menu: you will just get what you deserve.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by largactyl1 View Post
                          Hi there,

                          So sorry that you find yourself in this position, but this is a brilliant site for help and advice and a place to let off steam. Sounds like your False Accuser has weaved quite a web, previously you said that maybe she didn't realise the seriousness of these accusations but accuse you she has.

                          I would ask advice re. the FB account from your solicitor - and take screen shots if you can (not cut and paste). Write a time-line of everything that has occured before the allegation and her behaviour after. Store any messages, texts etc. Keep all evidence safe with a trusted friend or your solicitor if you prefer.

                          It all is a hellish shock for you - and I would imagine - particularly devastating that a person you loved has done this to you.

                          Get your fighting boots on as you need to be totally pro-active.

                          Kind regards
                          Jen
                          I can't access this new facebook account, not unless there's some way to hack it and i don't know about hacking atall.

                          Will the police seize the laptop if i tell them that there's important evidence on it on her facebook account, several months of her secret conversations between her and her best friend and her plans to leave me long before any alledged rape took place. She is on record telling the police that the rape is why she left me. If this proves to be a lie, does that not weaken her allegation of rape entirely? She also didn't leave me immediately upon the alledged rape taking place, she waited 4 weeks to do so, she left when the house sold and got the money she needed for her world trip. The rape is just something that was obviously made up in the middle.

                          Why not just say she planned to leave me for many months before the alledged rape? Would be so simple, no, she said the rape is the reason. This makes the whole rape thing look made up.
                          Last edited by CM00; 11 January 2012, 08:12 PM.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            I don't know the answer to this - others here might have more of an idea but I think maybe yr solicitor would know best. Others who have far more experience than me will probably know how best to advise you on this

                            Kind Regards
                            Jen
                            False Accusers Beware: You have chosen to dine at the Karma Cafe. There is no menu: you will just get what you deserve.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              yes, I have not heard of a story about the police seizing the accuser's laptop or facebook account. The police usually investigate more for supporting evidence regarding the allegations and not proving you are innocent. Maybe you can ask your solicitor about this?

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