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Hello, I'm the mother of a falsely accused 20 year old son. I'm sure he's going through hell, just as we are. I've seen his eyes change from sunny and sparkley to sullen and sad. Would welcome support from other Mums and free counselling in London for him to keep his head straight.
welcome to the forum, but sad to see you here. Has your son been to see his GP? There should be counselling through them.
You will get plenty of support and avice here from other posters and mods.
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..
My son is in the same boat it's heartbreaking to see someone you love go through this you are in the right place iv got so much strength from coming On hear keep your chin up I know it's hard but youhave to be strong for him if you break who has he got my thoughts are with you always hear xxx
from one mum to another welcome to the site. hopefully you will take comfort that you are not alone in your plight. be strong for your son he needs to know you believe in him. take one day at a time. keep busy and keep positive if you can it may be a long journey.and remember we are all here for you anytime you want to talk.
Hi, whatsgoingon, I too am a mother of a son who has been falsely accused. I dont know if you have read my posts but we are nearly at the end of our nightmare and i am so frightened. My son was falsely accused 18 months ago and his trial begins on the 16th Jan, it has been a living hell i wont lie to you, You have to remain positive because this can go on for a long time as it has for us. My son was accused in July 2010 and it has taken 18 long months to get to trial. There are lots of emotions and lots of sleepless nights. Support him in the best way you know how and listen to him always. I have had a lot of support from this site and i would recommend you use it regulary just keep strong, you are going to have days where you feel like the whole world is coming to an end but the strength i have found from this site is amazing. Not that it is good to know that other people are going through this nightmare too as i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy, but in another sense it is a comfort to know your not on your own and by reading the responses and listening to the advice helps to keep you feeling positive. I dont know how far down the line you are with all this but please feel free to private message me at any time if you need support. I am going to need all the help i can get over the next coming weeks as i am so scared that the jury will find him guilty even though our barrister is absolutely fantastic and feels the prosecution have a very weak case it is still the thought of my boy going to prison for something he hasnt done. As a mum all of there lives you protect them for everything but the worst thing about all this is there is nothing i can do and that is the worst feeling in the world. Please keep strong and be positive and remember we are here to help at all times love kazzarat xxxxxxxxxx
OMG 18 months? How have you coped? Its only been two for us and I can hardly bear it. I hope it all goes well for him, its the worst thing ever to see your child in pain, especially when its not their fault. I will never forgive this woman for what she has done to my son. I hope she rots, women like this are the reason so many genuine sexual assault/abuse cases go unreported. Sending you and your boys lots of Scottish love and I pray for them all.
Thanks Gem firstly for updating numbtothecore, but hi and welcome to this forum, i dont know if you have read any of my posts now but please do as you will see how we have coped over these long 18 months we have had, thanks goodness ours has come to an end, its been nearly a month now since we got our not guilty verdict and we still feel like we are floating on cloud 9.
You have got to try to be strong and keep fighting this all the way but most importantly be there for your son he will need you all around him, in a strange way this has made our already close family even closer. If i can ever be of any help or you just need a winge please feel free to message me, im no expert but when it comes to going through all the motions i think im pretty good. You take care Kazzarat xx
Firstly, thank-you all for your support, I haven't been back on here becuse I got my codes etc mixed up and couldn't seem to get a replacemnt. So to-night I tried again and was lucky.
Secondly, I am so pleased your son got a 'Not Guilty ' verdict (why is there no 'Innocent ' verdict in British Law?) You must both be over the moon.
My son went along to his bail interview for the 3rd time now to be told it's being put off again. I live along way from him so can't see him when I want to nor speak as calling abroad is so expensive. Plus when we do talk, I don't feel it's fair to bring this up all the time- there are so many good things to talk about. So mid May is the next date, just in time for his finals at Uni. Does anyone know if this can be put back till his exams are over? Is there any point him getting an appointment with a social worker. He has seen a solicitor, but how do we know if he's going to do his best for him? I too can't bear the thought of him doing time, nor cracking up , nor it ruining the rest of his life. He is such a lovely person, I don't know how he ever got in this situation. I spent 5 years getting over cancer and sometimes I think 'What was the f**ù)*g point. Sorry, not very cheerful, that's the way I feel right now.
So mid May is the next date, just in time for his finals at Uni. Does anyone know if this can be put back till his exams are over?
The rebail is arranged by the OIC in consultation with the CPS, so it would be necessary to to approach him/her regarding a change in the bail date.
However I suspect that while they would be willing to move it by a day or so to avoid a clash with an actual exam date, they wouldn't agree to shift it back by a month or so to avoid the exam period altogether.
Thank-you case-hardened for that info, I've read of your other advice which I've found very useful. I had to look up CPS and OIC, but hey... I'm getting an education!
And thank-you Denise for your support.
Should you want/need to - you can inform the powers that be about what is going on and they should automatically give so many percent allowance towards the exam results.
And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. Then made the world round .... and laughed and laughed and laughed ..
May came and went, then in June , what had started off (in November) as a boy and girl like one another, have alot to drink and get off with each other ended up with him being charged with sexual assault with penetration, or in everyday language, kissing and cuddling and a bit of fore-play. He's being charged entirely on his own word ( the police threatened to charge him with rape if he didn't say what happened but apart from that , he didn't feel he had anything to hide apart for his own embarassement). The girl in question had so much to drink (no drugs, confirmed by her blood-test) that she doesn't remember what happened that night, but sadly for her and my son, after they had both crashed out without consumating their new relashionship, she found herself naked and in bed with the other person in the room the next morning, and it seems that it is this person who caused her to make a statement to the police. My son was arrested and questioned, to which he answered truthfully, and I know he was terrified and bewildered.
This is a very strange one, because there is no evidence that my son did anything to her without her will, and he swears that what they did do she was willing to, so is he facing charges on a moral or legal issue? My husband and I are baffled. Does this mean then, that if someone can't or says they can't remember the physical encounter they had under the influence of drink or drugs that it automatically becomes non-consensual? Does it also mean that a woman who voluntarily gets drunk becomes the responsibility of whoever she's with at the time? I find this very hard to swallow and it seems to me to be more in line with the Victorian view of women than a C21 one. Does an individual, male or female not have a duty to themselves and society as a whole not to put themselves at risk, and this would include not getting so blotto that you can apparently no longer control or remember your own actions?
Anyway, for nearly 8 months now, the laughs have gone out of our faces, as our eyes have been opened up to completely archaic system whereby sex becomes a crime on 'someone's say-so (or not at all in this case), and the police and CP are happy to plod on to court on dodgey or no evidence( hoping to make it up on the day?), irrespective of the young man's future they have in their hands and the injustice that its being done to him in order to fulfil quotas. Much easier than investigating the genuine cases of, sadistic, unprovoked sexual abuse and rape which occur and never come to light mainly because in these cases women are too terrified to speak out or would rather not. What we seem to have in effect is a system where a tiny minority of unscrupulous women can exploit the law for purposes other than that which they are intended for because the police and CP are also willing to do so to political ends, while the politicians cast a blind eye. And while we've always been led to believe we have one of the best justice systems in the world, you realise that in court it will all depend on what the jury are led to believe, how the accused appears to them, what their life experiences are and what's been in the media.
I've done quite a bit of reading and thinking on the whole issue, and reading other people's stories on here. My son's experience and other peoples' terrifying and destructive experiences has really opened my eyes.
Anyway, the next big date for my son is in the Crown Court for the first hearing - if anyone could explain to me what happens in this one, and how many more before the big one, I'd be grateful for info. ( Sorry if I've been ranting) Would also be interested on views on the global picture.
Should you want/need to - you can inform the powers that be about what is going on and they should automatically give so many percent allowance towards the exam results.
Thanks, I passed that info on to him, but he didn't get his degree.
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