My dad's been accused :(

[fighter]

nooney, only one thing for sure, we all come out stronger individually and as a family in this situation. I cant help shed some tears. It is so unfair, nobody deserves this kind of situation, especially from someone who is supposed to be your family. My partner was also accused by a stepdaughter whom he raised as his own, feed and clothe the whole family when the biological father abandoned them. My partner was heartbroken. If it is any stranger it would have been less painful.

But you are right, you are not the first and last to go through this path. It is good you are there for your little brother :-). Continue being strong!

[Saffron]

I just wanted to say that you have my utmost respect and admiration. It's traumatic enough when someone you love is accused by a stranger, but for the false accuser to be your own flesh and blood is heartbreaking.
Kudos to you both

[Rights Fighter]

I'm too late to assist on this one as it seems that the decision has been made to take the plea. I've been away for a few days to attend a funeral.

I know a few people who were offered the plea and refused and were found NOT guilty by the jury.

By pleading guilty he is now a self-confessed sex-offender as far as the public and "the law" is concerned and it will be impossible for him to appeal the conviction should fresh evidence come to light later on.

He will be expected to undertake the Sex Offender's Treatment Programme (SOTP). If he makes it up as he goes along and he is caught lying he will be chucked off the course and when it comes to parole he will still be considered to be a "risk" and may end up serving longer than he's been promised in any event.

I've also known people accept the plea and not receive the reduction in sentence expected.

I do hope this goes well for you all.

[Amre]

I am I bit late on this too. Sorry that you find yourself here.
Now that hes pled guilty he's a convicted child molester. This plea also validates the sexual abuse he committed with his sister. The Oz sister thing is more relevant now too and it will show the judge form and a history of child abuse. Hes not getting 30 months over this, hes a risk to other children including his own son now. 30 months is his lawyers opinion, nothing more.

I also understand that hes wants to get back to his son and less jail time would help. But, hes not getting that boy back after this. Hes a convicted child molester he doesn't have a leg to stand on, and social services is going to go through him for a short cut. A 14 year old boy living with a self admitted pedophile and sex offender, one thats already admitted abused his own child? Err no.
Every single person that replied to this said no guilty pleas. Maybe you should show him this site?

If its not too late dont let him say hes guilty. It would take wild horses and shot guns for most innocent men on this site to say they did it.

[lawlessone2009]

Don't think anyone would hold it against you Amre. You are clearly passionate and it does hurt when you give the best of advice and it falls on deaf ears.

The only possibility I can come up with, other than guilt, is pressure. Extreme pressure through stress and anxiety.

Not many in society have direct first hand experience of rape on either side of the fence (accused or accuser) so a conviction of the type that is about to be dished out will fall on the general publics ears and minds. Pleading guilty means he is guilty, at least if he went to trial as an innocent man and was found guilty he could maintain his innocence and move heaven and earth to prove it. Some members of the public would most likely accept he IS innocent even if he never successfully proved it.

If I end up going to trial and am found guilty I won't even notice the time I am in there through the education I will ensure I make myself go through along with every single avenue of appeal possible. I am positively ****ting myself that this becomes a reality but am also sure that I will not waste one minute and will defend my innocence by any means possible and also ensuring that prison doesn't leave me worse off than I am at present. There is a future out there after all this blows over be it NFA or prison I don't really care, I am going to have my future. This man needs to start thinking this way, I can only hope that the pressure has eventually had the opposite effect on his mind and he stands in defiance of the situation and fights to the bitter end.

[debs]

good luck

not sure if your dad has pleaded guilty after reading this i hope not. keeping close eye on this page . my partner just been accused of raping niece 13 years ago. she has already accused some one else before not sure what happenend just in process of going to meet the guy and find out what happenend as he has a business in the town. neice is attention seaker and always tellings lies. my friends son used to hang around with her at skate park, drink, drugs lies about her mother having cancer and dying not true. all this only started 2 weeks ago and i finding it hard to deal with already my best friend s partner is turning funny and said why am i still with my partner putting myself at risk. been with my partner 2 years . dealing with xmas and daughter home from uni and dealing with my other 2 children in house trying to be happy which im not is so hard, neice is a lying toe rag . even partners kids believe him as they know she has done this before. my answer is god knows the truth and i am not religious . good luck nooney to u and your family xx

[Nooney]

Hi all im bk

My minds becoming stronger and clearer as the days go on with this hanging over are heads for two years wondering the what ifs we now know the out come and as my dad has put it we have been knocked off the ladder and just have to start climbing back up and rebuilding are lives..

My dad has been wondering if he made the right choice but theres always going to be that doubt regardless of what decision he made hes made it now so just gotta get on with it..

The the sister incident thing he isnt being charge with that was just some thing on the prosecutions side they was going to bring in to give my dad a bad character so they doesnt have to be seen that was the kro bar technic.

Yes as some one said it is harder when the accuser is your own family one he has put a roof over,few,looked after baby sat her 2daughter 1boy all just doesnt add up
well shes no longer any sister of mine.

[Nooney]

Hi debs my heart goes out to you just keep strong for the childrens sake i know its hard believe me ive cried just have to do it away from my lil bro the poor kids had a raw deal in life so its now becoming my duty to improve it for him ive just gotta put my life on hold does worry me to think that id like to meet a nice women have my own kids but are women going to want me with this on my back??

The system is corrupt and suprised how pressure they do put on a person for them to say guilty so the barrister and judge can just sleep easy with a clear mind....

Its all a game as poker as some one said earlier..

i wish you all the best debs

A BIG THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL THE SUPPORT xx

[lawlessone2009]

We were only being tough on you to try to get you to change your dads mind.

The positive is that you can all look to the future now with all of this under the bridge. It's not the end of the world. When your dad is a free man your bro will be old enough that Social Services should have a limited impact.

Good to see that you're coming out the other end yourself. Chances are that your dad seen the effects everything was having on the family along with the lack of support from his legal team and also the growing pressure from the prosecution and decided simply to end it all and take the plea.

In the end all that really matters is that the important people in his life care about him and take his word. Screw the rest of the world and you guys get on with life as a family.

It's good that you've decided to view the accuser as no longer part of the equation. There is a strong potential that she is not finished yet so limiting exposure to her is a very safe option. Hell, we've all been naive at one point and been forced to learn a lesson, just horrific that your dad is now having to learn one of the hardest ways.

[fighter]

Nooney, it is nice to hear you're becoming stronger. Yes, it is good that you dont see it as the end of the world. Just a knock off the ladder and then get up and move on. Your dad is very lucky to have you and your family.

Karma will find its way to your sister, and she will carry it through her life. Take care of yourself and continue making things easy for your dad. Throughout the months, we have this over our head, I learned the most helpful thing for our loved one is to be strong for them as it is bad enough for them.

Yes, I agree with lawlessone, less exposure to the accuser the better. Hope all the family knows what she is doing and she cannot come and make another accusation.

[friday]

Have a look at this link http://www.kinshipcareuk.org.uk/ and also look up kinship care and your local council. That should point you in the right direction of any financial help which is available. They might be able to help too: http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/...%20leaflet.pdf