14 days to go after waiting for 18 months

[kazzarat]

Hi everyone, i have posted on here before about my son he was falsely accused of rape in July 2010 (yes that long ago) this has been the worst thing that has ever happened to us which im sure you will all agree with. I have found this site so helpful and a great support. We have the trial starting on the 16th January and I am struggling so much right now, we have had a good christmas but now we must face it, it feels like we have been living under a black cloud for so long. Is anybody else about to go through a trial i could do with all the support i can get right now, family are great but its not easy talking about it all the time to them. I feel like im going to have a break down i want this out of the way but also i know its fast approaching and i want it all to go away. My son seems to be coping so well and i worry he will have a shock, he feels because he hasnt done it he wont be found guillty and we all know the british justice system dosnt work like that, if anybody is available for support over the next coming weeks i would be so grateful. Thanks Kazzarat xx

[Saffron]

Hi Kazzarat
Sorry to hear you are struggling. Your son is probably coping because you are being such a great support to him.
No-one can understand the fear that goes with a loved one being falsely accused unless you have been there yourself. Take some time for yourself - have a long soak in the bath with lots of bubbles, go for a walk, etc. Physical activity is particularly good because after a strenuous task your body releases endorphins which make you feel good. I found cleaning the house particularly therapeutic! (shame I don't now, really....)

We will all be here for you. Hugs

[RFLH]

I can only echo what Saffron has said - there's usually someone here to talk to. Take care of yourself.

[kazzarat]

thanks

Thanks for your support i will try that its the nighttimes that are the worst, he goes to see his barrister tomorrow for a final meet before the trial so im hoping that will go well. The barrister seems very confident and feels this is just another target case for the cps and the police so i have to listen to him and try to be confident myself, i will keep everone posted.

[billykickass]

Good luck to all of you on the 16th its a long wait and i know just how you feel about having a black cloud over you. I really hope it all goes your way.

[kazzarat]

Thanks

Thanks Billy i will keep you all updated as to how it goes, all i can say is its a good job he is not a raging rapist 18 months later god knows what he could of done. We all just want this over now once and for all and i so hope the stupid little girl gets her comeuppence. xxx

[NOHOPE]

hope all goes well for you and your son. our trial is not till August you want it to hurry up and be over but i think i will be like you once it starts getting closer i suppose the reality hits home even more.
please keep us updated, hopefully justice will be done.

[fighter]

kazzarat, you should be thankful that your son is really strong amidst this situation or else it would be another stressful matter to deal with. Draw strength from him, he truly believes he is innocent. He would probably handle being in the trial well also.

I have trouble sleeping also but I found small things like drinking less coffee; switching to camomille tea helped me; and keeping busy all day allows me to get better sleep. I read also until am sleepy. We have to survive this. I have 4 months to wait for the trial. It is good that your ordeal will be over soon. Be strong. We would be here for you.

[Mumsinastate]

Good luck for 16 th iv drawn my strength on the hate I feel for what this girl has done to my son don't get mad get even type if thing it has helped if we fall to bits they've won and that can't be right stay strong we are all hear for you

[Corkycat]

From A Grateful Old Friend

Hi Kazzarat, (remember this)Hi I am new on here and have been getting a lot of advice and support, it is great to hear that the right decision has been made.
my son has his trial at the beggining of December, well thats not set in stone as yet but thats what the soliciter thinks. We have just had our first hearing at the magistrates court, which has obviously been sent to the crown for the next part, still early days yet but things are looking more positive as we have had a chance to see her statement and there are so many inconsistencies in it it has made us all feel so much more positive.
I hope we are celebrating like you are and feeling the right decision has been made come december, it is still a living nightmare every day but we have come this far and we have to stay positive for our sons sake and our own.
Great news again and ill hope to give you ours when it happens. Thanks.

I do, very well indeed. It was sent to me by you in my hour of need so I know 'exactly' how you are feeling right now and i also know that you will surprise yourself when the actual time comes. For now, what you are feeling is just pure fear of the unknown and uncertainty that this brings along with it. I have to be honest with you by saying that there is no escape from this current feeling, all that you can and have to do is, try to draw strength, courage and inspiration from something. If you remember my post about this specific thing, i stated that my courage and inspiration came from remembering the brave soldiers at Normandy beach landings, faced with almost certain death, they fought on for the cause and their lives. Kazzarat, you can and you will get through this, your Barrister is exceptionally well educated and will be expert at drawing out the truth. Trust him/her to do this, the truth will be there and the jury will see it. Don't let the some of the horror stories on here scare you, each case is different with the truth easier to see in some cases than others. Your sons evidence is based on truth, the accusers is based on lies, that is why he is confident and you are fearful, because he sees the truth factually, you see the truth but only out of faith and love, its all you can possibly do because you were not actually there to live through the events of what the accuser accuses of happening (sorry if that sounds a bit confusing, but it is the only way i can put into word what i mean).

You will be strong when the time comes, scared, but strong. It is a natural human reaction when faced with a fearsome situation, survival instinct, if you will.

I am here if you need me, i will watch over your ordeal carefully.

Love and best wishes to you all.

Corkycat

[Saffron]

That's a lovely post Corkycat. Thank you for coming back and giving support.

[RFLH]

I echo waht Saffron has said - thatnk you for sharing your emotions with others - it does help them cope with their own.

[kazzarat]

That's helped so much

Thanks corkycat that post was so nice and it has helped me so much, i have taken it all on board and i feel a lot better, the support i have received on here is amazing and without it i would of certainly cracked up. Im hoping tonight when he has met with his barrister we will have some positive news. I will keep you informed xxxx

[Corkycat]

Inspiration.

Thankyou, you're all welcome...i wish i could do more!

Kazzarat, here is something that Verity posted to me, i loved it, i found it very reassuring, i hope you draw some strength from it because i certainly did. I will never ever forget this passage;

The wicked lie in wait for the innocent man,
seeking to take his life.
But the Lord will not leave him in their power
nor allow him to be condemned when brought to trial.
Psalms 38:V 32-33

Corkycat

[Verity]

Hello Corky,

Good to see you posting again.

Glad the psalm helped, it kept me going through our hard time

For the newbies, welcome, you may like to learn this and make it your mantra to

recite when you feel that horrid sense of fear.

Group hug to all.

Verity. xxx